What's That Oil About?

I've been a distributor with Young Living Essential Oils for over a year now.  Sometimes I work the business, other times, not so much.  It is the beauty of being in business for yourself.

This past week, I went to my daughter's house and she was sick.  I gave her some samples of Thieves oil, because she was out of her "brand" of oils that her sister-in-law sells.  And truthfully, the sister-in-law has been in the oils business longer than myself, so there are no hard feelings there.  

Toward the end of my stay, I pulled out some Stress Away oil and suggested she smell it.  She did and said it was strong!  She pulled out the leading competitor's version of this oil and I smelled it.  Truth is, it was very light smelling, primarily lavender mix.  It definitely did not have the "oomph" of my Young Living Oils.  And so, I decided I need to pursue my oils more consistently.  You see, not all oils are alike and frankly, was shocked because her brand of oil is our leading competitor in Las Vegas.  In my humble opinion, there was no comparison.  

And so today, as I think about 2017, the decision is made to start planning some get-togethers, such as make and takes.  Book studies on oils of the Bible, as well as Oola.  It is interesting how something so insignificant can make such a huge impact on your life.  

So, if you are into oils, I suggest you look carefully at what you are buying.  Yes, Young Living Oils are not cheap.  There is a reason for that; they have a "seed to seal" guarantee.  These are not oils for the faint of heart.  The plants are grown in different parts of the world, specifically to be harvested and put into the oils.  If they don't meet a certain criteria, they are out.  Furthermore, it is possible to be sold out of oils for months at a time.  Why?  Because they are growing the plants that go into them and sometimes, they run out of them or have a bad harvest or weather issues.

So, if you think you are saving money by buying a product on Amazon or from another company, true enough.  But that's all you're getting; an oil with sub-par ingredients.  Truthfully, I wouldn't want to be breathing in or rubbing something on myself that is not overseen by others than our executives at Young Living.

And so, although this reads like an infomercial, know that this is about supporting your health and well-being.  It doesn't mean you won't get sick or this is to replace traditional medicines.  However, I do think using natural hand-washes, cleaning products and diffusing oils can offer benefits.

If you are interested in learning more, e-mail me at lisak58@hotmail.com  Your first step is getting a starter kit in your hands so you can enjoy the benefits of oils at a reduced price.  From there, it's all up to you.

The Gift

Christmas 2013.  It was my first Christmas post-divorce.  

When my ex was getting ready to move (and we were still friends), we held a garage sale.  My ex insisted I sell our Christmas tree as it was getting old.  It was, but what if I couldn't afford a new one?  He assured me I was being crazy.  He gave it to someone who drove past our garage sale at the end of the day.  It was a young mom with a small child, who was delighted when she saw it and even more so, when he gave it to her.  It made me happy too.  I knew it was going to a good home.

Fast forward to December of that year.  I had no money for gifts, let alone a tree.  I shopped, hoping I could find one but they were too expensive...$40.00 for a tabletop size and I would still need to buy lights.  Although I was working my job and tutoring everyday after school for an additional 3 hours, I still only had enough money for the necessities; food, housing, and occasionally getting my hair done at the beauty school.

At an Emmaus gathering, I mentioned to a friend how expensive trees were getting.  She said she had an extra one but it was only tabletop size.  Would I like it?  YES!  I was ecstatic.  Not only did she give me the tree, but a string of lights.  And so, that tree went on a table in my front window, decorated with ornaments that were in my family for years.  I could not stop looking at it.  That year, we did not have presents but we did have our tree.  And a magnificent tree it was; every time I looked at it, it brought me such joy!  I was so incredibly blessed!  Instead of opening gifts, my oldest son and I celebrated by going to church.  We then came home and watched a movie.  It was probably one of the best Christmases we ever had, as we celebrated not only being together but our Savior's birth.  For the first time, I think my boys really understood why we celebrate Christmas.

Fast forward to 2016.  I am in a comfortable home with a tree that is bigger than I ever imagined owning.  I was on the phone with a student's parent just before break, who mentioned she lived in a motel and was waiting on Section 8 housing.  At that second, I didn't think much of it.  I hung up and I got a nudge from the Holy Spirit.  Call her back!   Was I sure I should?  Call her back!   I called her back and asked her..."What are you doing for Christmas?  Do you have a Christmas tree?"  I knew the answer before she told me.  She said "No."  I explained to her that I had one...it was a bit worn (I told her apologetically)  but I explained how I had been given it after my divorce and I had nothing.  I asked her if she would like it?  She said "yes" through tears.  I knew these kids were going to be without Christmas and so, I enlisted the help of anyone who would listen and took gifts over to her house yesterday -- along with the tree.

Their home was as I expected.  Although the sign outside said apartments, it was definitely a motel room -- 1 bedroom with a kitchenette.  Clean but small -- housing a mom and three kids.   Later that day, she sent me a picture of the tree with the presents and stockings around it.  My heart melted.

The truth is, we don't always listen enough.  We live in a world where we need to hurry up and work.   And when we're not working, we allow ourselves to be distracted by cell phones, computers, tablets and television.   Had I not had that nudge from the Holy Spirit, I probably wouldn't have called back. I would have (sadly thought), "It's none of my business."

Sometimes, we need to listen to what's inside of us.  There is a "voice" that says, "do it!"   That voice is the Holy Spirit.   I tell you this story not to say, "Hey, I'm a great person," but rather to say, "Wake up!  Listen!  Someone may need you...someone you might never have imagined!"  I could have gone back to work that day and let any thoughts that popped into my head be brushed aside.  But I didn't...because I knew what it felt like to tell my nearly grown boys that there would be no gifts that year!

Someone heard me in 2013.  I heard someone else in 2016.  That tree was not just a blessing...it was a gift!  This holiday season (and anytime you can) pay it forward.  It doesn't take much.   Just a willing heart and a listening ear.  We are the eyes, hands and feet of  Jesus.  Serve others.  Love Him.  When you do, you can make the world a better place.

Merry Christmas!

Eye on the Prize

Well, it has begun.  I am already working on my Oola goals.  I am thrilled by all that I gleaned at OolaPalooza this year.  My major goal in weight loss is to get to a normal BMI.  I have spoken with a health coach and the process will begin tomorrow.  She is going to help me step-by-step.

I also spoke with a friend who is a life coach.  Many months ago, she offered me sessions at a reduced fee.  I did not really want to invest the time or money in myself.  I have decided that the time has come to investigate why I struggle with weight.  She is a Mind/Body coach who focuses on how the body and mind work together.  I am no longer going to see a counselor as frankly, I think that is basically beating a dead horse.  I have "graduated" in my mind.  Aside from weight and relationship issues, I am healthy and my life coach can help see me through those struggles.

As for relationship?  Aaaah, that one is tough.  One day I am ready to tie the knot, the next, I want my own apartment.  Wrong guy?  Doubtful.  Bad marriage = scarred.  Scared.  Make that terrified!  And so, I am going to read about the five love languages (I ordered the book yesterday) and give it to my fiance when I am finished.  I think that learning about our styles of loving one another is important.  He has been married several times and has been incredibly patient with my stalling, hesitation, freaking out and other undesirable traits in one's fiance.  So, before we buy the rings, I need to understand more about this thing called love.  I know God has placed this man in my path and has opened doors in order for us to marry.  I feel that this is who God wants me with; now, I actually have to move beyond my past and my fears.  I have asked for a prenup, with which he has agreed.  So why am I scared?  Because I have had my heart torn out before and I really, really, REALLY don't want to go through that again.  And I overthink.  Never good.  This will probably be a struggle until the day I say, "I do".  And yet, I don't want to get married just to "get it over with".  I want to say "I do" because I want it more than anything.

  Moving on...

My goal of mentoring students is actually ongoing.  I try to do that daily.  I have students who ask me to attend their events now and I talk to those that are struggling with classes.  I assure them that they can graduate.  You see, my students struggle; not just with school but with life.  So, my goal is to help them understand that everyone struggles and that you can still make it through whatever you are facing.  I believe you just have to push past whatever you are feeling and do your job -- which for them is school and for some, also working to help the family out financially.

As for other projects, I will be working on those over Christmas break.  One more week and then, Merry Christmas!  I am looking forward to some rest and solace.  I am spending time with family -- taking a well-deserved trip to visit grandchildren.  It's been a little over a year since I last saw them.  I can't wait!

And so, with effort, my dreams are starting to come true.  I hope I have a great report for the Oola guys when I go back to OolaPalooza in 2017.  Yes, I am planning for it.  I need it.  Some years, I get sidetracked and miss the mark,  but this year, I am extremely focused.  My eye is on that prize -- ME!  I deserve a balanced and healthy life.  I deserve to be a better version of myself.  I deserve all that and more! I deserve an Oola life!

OolaPalooza Day 2

Ok, so I confess...I skipped work to go to OolaPalooza Day 2.  I put in for a sub, having been unable to get one for days before and I figured if I was supposed to go, God will make it happen.  Well, lo and behold...it did! 

This is how I look at it...I can't take care of someone else unless I put my oxygen mask on first.  And so, this was my oxygen mask.  I knew God was calling me to this -- I did!  And so, I went without hesitation.

Truth is, I felt a twinge of guilt but when I listened to the piece on OolaBlockers and OolaAccelerators, I was all ears.  Yes, I have heard this before.  Not only have I read it in the book, "Oola: Find Balance in an Unbalanced World",  but I have sat through two OolaPalooza's.  And yes, each time, I get something different out of it.  Last year, I was all about self.  This year, it's legacy.  Yes, I am looking to leave my mark on the world.  

I also figured out why I am struggling with my fitness goal.  I have several OolaBlockers at play.  The good news is, I also have several OolaAccelerators going on.  I don't know how it will play out exactly because each year is different.  But I do know this...I will reach my fitness goal of a healthy BMI.  I will also hit my finance hard.  This year, I need to make a will, save $1,000 and start working toward paying down debt to the tune of an extra $150 per month.  These are things I know will happen.

I have already started my Oola goal of putting down my phone at 5 PM, so that I can be present with my family.  Additionally, I have begun reading Scripture daily -- whether a devotional or the Bible itself.  I feel good about hitting those goals.

As they talked about OolaBlockers and Accelerators, I realized that I could just write freely what I was feeling on my heart.  I discovered a lot about myself as a result.  I found in the section of gratitude that there were so many things I was grateful for -- so many bad things that caused me so much pain and anger, yet they were all things I could say brought a new meaning or dimension to my life.  I just had to find out why I was grateful for them happening.  I easily wrote 10 things down and each one had a reason for being grateful.  And that exercise helped me to pay it forward.

The next day, I talked with a student about keeping a gratitude journal.  This student suffers from depression and as a result, although extremely bright, struggles to get through her days.  So I asked her to write one sentence a day.  I am grateful for...  I told her, even if she is not having a good day, to write down what is happening and what she can learn from it.  I gave her the example of having to sell everything off when I got divorced.   I told her even though I had to do that, I was glad I did because it made me strong.  She understood the concept and now she is going to do it.

Since going to OolaPalooza this year, I have a new-found passion for living.  It's like I've discovered myself all over again.  I love my life -- I love the things I learned.  It has made me appreciate all I have been through.  I needed that day...yes, even teachers need a day off if it means getting healthier to serve others.

And so, OolaPalooza in my mind. worth all the time and energy spent to get there.  I talked with people I haven't seen in a year, met with my mentor and found that there is just so much more living I have left to do.  I am grateful for the opportunity to have gone and even more grateful for what I came away with; passion, integrity, love, humility, gratitude, discipline, and wisdom.  These are all things that help you to move forward in life.

And so, once again, I thank Dr. Dave Braun and Dr. Troy Ahmdahl for a job well done.  Without them and Oola, I know that my life would be far less complete.  I feel happier than I've ever been and so incredibly grateful and full of joy.  Life is good when you go after your Oola life!

OolaPalooza Day 1

Yesterday was a bit harried.  I did not make it to the full day of OolaPalooza, as I had work.  However, I did arrive by 2:30 and was able to get settled fairly quickly.  The goal setting process had just begun and I had my first two big ones to work on...Fitness and Finance.

Fitness -- I am struggling with this area and frankly, don't know why.  Today we are going over OolaBlockers and so, I hope to reveal the problem.  Dr. Dave and I talked about it last night...he asked key questions such as, am I lazy? (no)  Do I think I look ok? (yes, but just ok -- not how I want to look) I threw out that perhaps I had some pent up anger from my past, having been told my entire life I needed to lose weight.  That is a possibility -- rebellion at the age of 56?  Still???  I need to get over it.  What about fear?  I do get strangely freaked out when men notice me, which they do when I am thin.  It truly scares me.  Maybe because they are free and easy with the lewd comments.   Of course, I am not the people-pleaser of the past, so truthfully, I think I could easily put someone in their place -- and quickly.  Perhaps because I was molested at a young age?  Maybe.  That could also be the reason I tend to have male friends, and if they are gay, all the better.  Yes, I am extremely complex when it comes to this weight issue.  My daughter says, "Just do it!  You will feel so much better about yourself."  True--preach it, girlfriend!

What about finance?  I am finally out of the financial quagmire that I was in for the past three years.  I can now move forward with my life.  It is a huge weight that has been lifted.  My biggest goals are to make a will, start an emergency fund and begin paying an extra $150/month toward debt.  Simple, attainable goals that will make me feel so much better about my future.

I set goals in the other areas of life as well...field, faith, friends, family and fun.  All achievable.  Today is key.  I hope it will help me sort out my difficulties with weight loss issues.  I hate the cycle of yo-yoing and want to get off of this merry-go-round forever.  I want to look and feel great and not feel guilt/shame/fear anymore.  I know that this is key to moving forward with my life and being the best I can be.

And so, this pretty much sums up "my" day one of OolaPalooza.  There was so much more that I missed, but bear in mind, in three hours,  I set 21 goals for the 7 key areas of my life.   We also had a bomb concert by JT Hodges and were treated to appetizers in the Hard Rock penthouse.  One gal won a night's stay in it with her friends!  Yes, the Oola team is incredibly generous.   Today we will narrow down our goals until we reach #1 for the year.  I know mine will have to be fitness.  It has to be.  I am scared but if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.

So dream big -- and go get your Oola life!

OolaPalooza 2016 The Journey

Once again, OolaPalooza is here.  I didn't think I'd be going but a random act of kindness has allowed me the opportunity.  Due to my financial situation this year, I was unable to afford the ticket.  And so, I decided that God had probably decided that someone needed to go more than myself.  As life should have it, I received an e-mail the other day stating that someone had an extra ticket and did I want it?  Did I?  That would be a resounding "YES!"

As I think about the two days of setting goals for the next year, I am overwhelmed with excitement.  I've had some setbacks this year...some goals I hit this year, others I didn't.  For instance, the 25 pounds I lost last year, I gained back -- the result of heavy-duty emotional eating.   Why?  Because of my finance... I spent nearly two years in bankruptcy -- something I don't recommend unless you absolutely must-- and was finally granted a Chapter 7.  What that means is that the only debt I have remaining are my student loans and car.  Although it sounds horrific, and in many aspects it is, it means I can move forward with my life.  The fallout of my divorce is finally over and now it is entirely up to me to become whole again.  I am so grateful for that opportunity!

My faith has developed to a whole new level.  I am now facilitating a Bible study, rather than just sitting in one.  As a result, I am reading the Old Testament; no small task.  My field goals are taking on a clearer picture of what I need to be doing; how I foresee getting out of student loan debt and moving beyond.  What will retirement look like for me?  Before my bankruptcy, I had no hope of retirement.  Now, I can actually envision it.  That is huge -- especially when starting over at the age of 53.

Friends and fun have gone beyond what I imagined.  One friend of mine actually asked, "What happened to the 'old Lisa'?"  She never knew me other than as a quiet, introverted person.  I wasn't introverted...I was just sad.  Now I have a happiness I never knew could exist.  I live each day fully, knowing that it could be my last.

I recognize life is a journey, and I have met some amazing individuals along the way.  Many I've met at this annual gathering; a place where we look at what we want from life and how we will get there. There is laughter, tears and a lot of hugging.  We relish the time together because like a rope, it is stronger with each of the ties that bind us.

And so, I thank the kind stranger who said, "Give this ticket to someone who can use it."  I thank the people at Oola for recognizing that I need this gathering; maybe even more than they know.  I thank God for giving me the strength to persevere and for putting people in my path who helped light the way.  I thank YOU for being a part of my journey.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Another year has passed and it is now three years post-divorce. And I am grateful...so very grateful. You see, God has blessed me many times over -- even through the struggles. So, for those of you who are going through difficult times, let me give you a little encouragement today.

 Three years ago, I was broke. At the end of a pay period, I was lucky if I had $5.00 in my checking account; and that, while working three jobs. Today, I am, in fact, still broke; insolvent. The difference being is that I have been given a second chance by God and the court system. Yesterday, I went from a Chapter 13  to a Chapter 7 bankruptcy. What that means in laymen's terms is that I can now move forward with my life. The only debt I have are my student loans and car.  A giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders. All the debt that was left after a bad marriage has now been resolved. Was it easy? No! It was in fact, one of the hardest and darkest periods of my life.  But it is over.   I am putting a period and moving on.  So, if you are going through a period of financial darkness, know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. God is using this in some way; making you stronger, more courageous, helping you think out of the box, or some other way that we cannot even imagine.  The truth is, this is his will for you in Christ Jesus and He has a plan and purpose.  Be patient.  Something good will happen...trust me...I've been there!

 I am thankful for the people God put into my life post-divorce. I am still friends with most of them and if they are no longer here, it is because they have in one way or another, served a very important purpose or given me a life lesson. I am grateful for those who were gracious enough to give of their time and energy during a dark period in my life. They were and continue to be blessings. I am incredibly thankful for a church family that continues to love me and for co-workers that have held my hand every step of the way. I am grateful for random folks I met in the strangest places, who continue to serve as mighty forces of encouragement and who have taught me to always be grateful and have faith. In EVERY circumstance.

 I am thankful for my children and grandchildren. If not for them, I'm not sure I would have survived the aftermath of my divorce. There were many times that I suffered complete hopelessness, especially for the first year after my divorce; living far away from family and close friends, being on my own for the very first time in my life and barely making enough money to survive. I am grateful for my four children because they are truly the gifts and blessings that came forth from my marriage. I am grateful for them because even now, they are beautiful adults with lives of their own. Yes, I may miss them but I helped give them the tools they needed to be productive and happy adults.

 I am thankful to God for giving me strength, courage, passion for others and the wherewithal to make the best of a terrible situation. He helped me through the most difficult period of my life and I believe that although life is not perfect, He gives us everything we need to endure. Whether it is friends, family, a church home or a Bible, it is all there for us. We just have to be ready to receive those blessings and look for them.  I must confess, there were days I didn't see them until a friend told me I needed to open my eyes and look for something wonderful. And yes, there is always something crazy amazing in every.single.day.  Open your eyes.  Look for the blessings!  You WILL receive them.

 Thursday is Thanksgiving. This week I will spend time with friends and family. I am blessed beyond measure. No, I don't live in a mansion or drive a fancy car. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, a job I love and people in my life who fill my heart to overflowing with incredible love. I will never take anything for granted...ever! Everyday is a gift from God. It's not cliche; it's the truth. So I ask of you these things as you enter into a spirit of being grateful; See the good in others. Help those less fortunate. Reach out to those who are struggling. You may be the only encouragement they have in their lives. Smile. Be positive. Seek out like-minded people. Grow. Dream. Follow your heart. Not just for one day but everyday. Oh, and yes...have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Why Mary Kay?

Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, 'Make me feel important.' Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life. Mary Kay Ash

For years, I have used Mary Kay cosmetics.  I have used her face washes on and off since college.  I have looked at the business opportunity for years.  So, what made me decide to take the plunge "for real" this time?  It is, in many ways, the founder herself.

Mary Kay Ash really was ahead of her time.  At the age of 43, she began her business.  Her husband had died and she had $5,000 to invest.  She did this in a time when women, in general, were looked upon as "lesser" than men.  She recognized that she could do things better than her bosses.  She was right.

One of my favorite quotes that Mary Kay said was "God first, family second, career third."  She was right.  God should always come first in your life, then your family and lastly, your career.  Most corporations have it the other way around.  Hence, so many women are looking for home-based businesses.  Yes, they want it all!  No glass ceilings and the ability to stay home with their families.

Thursday night, I launched my business.  I talked about why I wanted to be successful.  Yes, the money is nice but I will say it again...I want to help other women reach their financial goals.  I want to help those who have been put through the financial wringer get back on their feet.  I want to show women who have been struggling that it is possible to make money by helping others.  Usually, corporations help themselves.  I believe this business is a way to encourage others.

Our meetings are held on Wednesday nights, and usually, at 5 PM,  I am tired and find myself questioning whether or not I really want to go.  The truth is, once I am there, it is incredibly refreshing.  We are not talking "work" but rather, building each other up with words of love and friendship.  We do talk business but then again, I love business.  It is nice to have this "other side" with which to retreat.  It beats hearing people complain about paperwork, student behavior and administration over a cocktail.  Rather, we talk about seminars, retreats and how to treat people as they want to be treated.   By the way, Mary Kay also believed in the "golden rule".

And so, I am exceedingly excited and can't wait for my box of "goodies" to arrive.  I am running low on a lot of things personally and it is the Christmas season.  I am holding a Holiday Open House with several vendors.  I hope the turnout it great and that people will remember to support small businesses.  Again, helping others succeed.

As you read this, if any of this strikes a chord with you, reach out to me at lisakhuraibet@marykay.com  It doesn't matter if we live in the same state or not -- again, the beauty of this business.  All that matters is that you have a desire to improve your life and the lives of others.

Leviticus

I facilitate a Bible study on the Old Testament.  One of the books of the Bible I was least looking forward to go over was Leviticus...which goes over atonement.  Why?  Because, if you've ever read it, it is drier than the desert the Jews found themselves wandering in for forty years!  

In essence, it is a list of rules and regulations for forgiveness of guilt and sin.  As I was reading, I kept thinking, "HOW am I going to be able to present this in a way that is understandable?  And why do we need to know this?"

In Exodus, the Levites are told to build a tabernacle so that God could come down and reside with them.  It was a structure that was continually taken apart and rebuilt, as the Levites moved.  It was also surrounded by the 12 tribes of Israel.

So, how does the way animal sacrifices were conducted back then affect us in today's day and age? Does it?  After reading it, I consulted my daughter, who was required to study the Bible in-depth as part of the requirements to become a music minister.

I know the tabernacle pointed to the coming of Christ, but I couldn't quite make the connection.  She said it to me this way.  First of all, when she read Leviticus she kept thinking of ALL the blood that was shed.  Yes, it would have been completely blood splattered.  What struck me was that God resided there and was physically with His people.   How does this relate to Christ coming?  Well, let's just jump to the bottom line...no one can keep all the laws that God laid out and therefore, we were in need of a Savior.  We were not perfect...Christ was.  So how was I going to sum up this topic of atonement?

One thing I did was share a picture of the tabernacle.  It is hard to imagine a structure which is built in cubits.  I am a visual learner and personally, cannot envision something that is described.  I need to see a reasonable facsimile of it.  And so, I did a search on the tabernacle and came up with an image that laid out how it looked and where various items were placed, such as the ark, the lampstands, the pillars, curtains, et cetera.  I also found a layout of where the 12 tribes of Israel were located.  Three tribes on each side of it.  Again, I couldn't speak to the significance of that; however, I am certain it must have been important and if I were in seminary, would certainly do more research. Since I am a layman and looking for THE most important information, I merely pointed out where the tribes were located.

 

One thing that helped was using my reference notes in my Bible.  When in doubt, read the footnotes.  I had an incredible summation in my Bible and I want to share it with you.

Old System of Sacrifice versus New System of Sacrifice:

1.  Temporary                                                   Permanent

2.  Aaron first high priest                                Jesus only High Priest

3.  From tribe of Levi                                      From tribe of Judah

4.  Ministered on Earth                                    Ministers in heaven

5.  Used blood of animals                                Uses blood of Christ

6.  Required many sacrifices                            Requires one sacrifice

7.  Needed perfect animal                                 Needs a perfect life

8.  Required careful approach to tabernacle     Encourages confident approach to throne 

9.  Looked forward to a new system                 Sets aside old system 

At the end of the day, this was, in fact one of our better Bible study lessons.  Not only did we have a larger class than usual, they had much to contribute from what they had gleaned from the chapters of the Bible we read.  As for myself, I discovered that even though parts of the Bible may be difficult to read, the lesson I learned was to do your research and never underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit.  He can take even the most difficult sections of the Bible and impart knowledge where there seems to be none.

Money

And so comes the final chapter in my financial woes...Chapter 7.  I am, officially, broke.  Beyond.  The good news is that this will end this legal nightmare; and trust me, it is.  In some ways I am celebrating because I can now move forward with my life.  In other ways, I am deeply disturbed that it has come to this.  Ladies, let me say this loud and clear...never, EVER trust someone enough to let them handle your finances.  Period.  I don't care if they're your spouse.  If you don't watch out for yourself, no one will.

I hope this doesn't sound terribly bitter but this is indeed a cautionary tale.  I trusted someone that didn't deserve my trust.  I placed full and complete confidence that he was looking out for "our" best interests...wrong!  He was looking out for HIS best interest.  And if you don't believe such people exist, you are living in a bubble.  And yes, I hope I burst your bubbles just enough for you to, at the very least, look over your shoulder and watch where your money goes; even jointly held finances.

My goal now in moving forward is to help others.  I am planning to facilitate a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University.  It is incredibly time consuming.  As I recall, it is a 2-3 month course and a couple of hours each week.  Yet, I feel it is THAT important...more important than DivorceCare, CelebrateRecovery or any other program out there designed to help people get their lives on track.  It's important because as Dave says, if you don't take control of money, money will take control of you.  He is absolutely right!  I took the course a year or two before my divorce with my then-spouse.  I hadn't anticipated a divorce at that time but I was so thankful post-divorce that I had that knowledge under my belt.  I learned how to make a budget (something I had never done my entire life), how to pay off debt and how to plan for my future.

So if I understood how to pay off debt, why bankruptcy?  I did my best to pay off my debt but at the end of the day, I was beaten.  A $93,000 bill on a second mortgage which I was told was unsecured (if that's the case, why is it a 2nd mortgage?) pushed me over the edge.  I had over $100K in jointly held student loans, a couple of small credit cards but this did it.  At the end of the day, I will still be responsible for the student loans, which is life.  How I wish I had not been so vulnerable as to listen to someone who said, "take the full amount" when asked about how much money we should borrow?  I figured my ex-husband had a plan to pay them back; turns out, he didn't.  

And so, the final chapter of my financial woes is soon to being over.  I will go back to a reasonably normal life sans credit cards.  If I do get married, it will be done with a prenuptual agreement, as I do not ever wish to find myself in the same position as I was nearly four years ago.  Fortunately, my fiance has agreed to these terms as he has watched me go through the sleepless nights and nightmares, as I worry about retirement and my financial future.  

So, to those of you who are not quite sure how to handle finances or have chosen to let someone else handle them for you, I encourage you to run, not walk, to your nearest church where they offer Financial Peace University.  It could, one day, be your saving grace.

Pink Floyd "Money"
https://youtu.be/JkhX5W7JoWI

Pink Dreams

Pink has always been my color.  Not bright pink but blush...the color dreams from which dreams are made.  Sue me but I dream of one day owning a pink Cadillac.  So, how do I plan to accomplish this?  By helping others.

Over the years, I have had this vision of helping women who have found themselves in the situation that I was in...broke and yes, even at times, scared.  I had no financial background and allowed my spouse to handle our finances, which I discovered to be a huge mistake.  In the end, I ended up divorced and bankrupt.  Trust me, this is not a fun situation to find yourself in at the age of 53.  Instead of dreams of retirement, I found myself in a nightmare of working three jobs and no hope for ever quitting.  Enter Mary Kay.

A few years ago, I had tried my hand at Mary Kay when my daughter was selling it.  She was quite successful whereas, I never really had the time to invest in it.  I stopped and started again; another half-hearted attempt.  I tried other direct selling companies and although their products were good, they never quite held my heart like Mary Kay.  You see, I love makeup.  And I love to help others; specifically, women.  Women who have struggled.  Women who are in bad situations.  Women who for whatever reason, are in a financial hole and need a hand up not a handout.

And so, I throw my hat in the ring again.  But this time, I am making the time for this little home-based business.  I am taking the steps necessary to be successful.  Why?  Because by doing so, I can help others.

The other day, I was watching a video by a consultant and she said she was doing it to encourage others.  "BINGO!"  It was my "Aha!" moment, as Oprah refers to it.  What better way to help others (and in doing so, yes, make some much needed cash myself) than by helping others get on their feet financially.  And no, Mary Kay is not a pyramid business model as so many seem to think.  In a pyramid model, the person on top always reaps the benefit.  However, I could help someone who could in fact, surpass me with more sales or a larger sales force.

Something else I didn't know...Mary Kay offers a retirement program; a great reason to become a national director.  I have drive and ambition.  Although I have placed my faith in the education system, I have systematically found myself being undermined by constantly changing rules, unending paperwork and disrespect for what I do.  Fortunately, I love the kids; but for that, I would have left years ago.  Today, I take back my drive and ambition and move forward in a place where there is no glass ceiling.  The sky quite literally is the limit.

First things first... I am using my first challenge of 30 Faces in 30 Days as a fundraiser for a friend of mine's grandson who is battling leukemia.  He is getting a bone marrow transplant and frankly, his family can use the money for medical expenses.  Personally, I don't have any to give but I can donate any profits I make from this first challenge.  So far, I have no takers.  This does not, however, discourage me.  I will find 30 faces because I love this family and want to help.  If you are in the Las Vegas area and would like to participate, please contact me at www.marykay.com/lisakhuraibet   It is a great cause!

Pink dreams?  Indeed!  I am excited about this new journey and hope that as I meet women who are struggling, they will be courageous enough to go after their dreams and in the process, help others.

Aretha Franklin  "Freeway of Love"

https://youtu.be/Ip_pjb5_fgA

Let it Go

I looked up the definition of irony on Google.  There were two but the second one caught my eye.  It said, "a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy, by which the full significance of a character's words or actions are clear to the audience or reader although unknown to the character."

Had I been born during the period of Greeks, I'm certain my life would have been a Greek tragedy; for here I am -- this character -- who leaves her home to follow her husband in an attempt to save her marriage.  The outcome?  The characters divorce and the husband returns to their original home.  Irony.

Folks, I couldn't make this up.  It is true.  My ex-husband left Nevada, which he swore was paradise, to return to our home state.  As a result, I spent Saturday crying my eyes out; not because I would miss him but because of the irony of the entire situation.  

Here I am, with a new life, in a state I don't particularly like -- yet, I have made it work the best that I can.  I have turned lemons into lemonade; job, church home, fiance and friends.  Yet, I miss my grandchildren terribly.  Frankly, I would probably move back in a heartbeat if I didn't have to go back to becoming a probationary teacher rather than tenured, as I am now.  

And so on Saturday, I cried.  Cried for the fact that I was betrayed once again.  Truthfully, it was so not worth the swollen eyes and headache, as it ruined my day.

On Monday, I gained new perspective as I led a Bible study.  One of the women said, "Let it go."  As in everything.  Let go of the fact that my ex has stiffed me on financial support and student loans.  Let go of the anger.  Let go of the sadness.  Let go of the past.  Let everything go.  I have to be honest -- I thought I had done that but the Saturday before had proven to me that I hadn't.  And so, I made a decision to really let it go.

I have a great life!  I have a fiance who really adores me and would marry me tomorrow if I would let him.  I told him I am not going after my ex for anything.  His response?  He is going to help me pay off my debt.  Now, that's a mensch!  (Yiddish for a person of integrity and honor).  I have a great job, wonderful friends, a church home that I love and frankly, I'm happier than I have been in my entire life.  Do I miss my grandkids?  Absolutely!  But I can still visit them a couple of times a year and spoil them rotten...and I don't have to shovel snow in the process!

So, I move forward.   I have let it go.  Again.  I hope that these feelings of betrayal and anger do not surface because frankly, they are emotionally wearing.  And I have been tired for a very long time.  

So today, I am grateful.  As far as I'm concerned, the best thing about my marriage were the four beautiful children it produced and now, my grandchildren.  God has blessed me richly.  It doesn't get better than this; if I died tomorrow, I will have done so with a smile on my heart despite the pain I've been through.  Irony.

"Let it Go" from the movie "Frozen"  Well worth the listen....
https://youtu.be/L0MK7qz13bU

The Empty Nest

Yesterday it hit me hard...my kids are grown.  Moving back to my hometown will not change anything.  The fact is, my children have their own lives.  I have done a good job as a mom.  They are independent.  Yet, I am sad.  I don't see them often enough.  Even if I lived closer, I doubt I would see them more than once a month.  And so, that is my reality.

I know in my heart of hearts, they are happy and healthy.  I can't ask for more than that!  However, it is hard.  I miss them.  I miss my grandchildren.  I live too far to drive a couple of hours.  I am a flight away and it requires "real" planning to get there...saving money for the flight and making sure our schedules are cohesive.

It is hard to realize that I need to move forward with my own life.  This is my time to enjoy.  No responsibilities, save my job.  That's it.  I am not in school, no second jobs, no babysitting duties....life is good.  Yet, there is an emptiness inside of me.

And so, I am looking for ways to keep myself busy.  I am hoping for more travel, possibly a hobby or just finding a way to hang out with other women my age.  I may go back to school and get an administrator's degree.  The world is my oyster.

And so, although I miss my children far more than they miss me, I also realize that my role as a mother has changed.  It has gone from taking care and nurturing them to being supportive in their decisions and offer advice, IF they ask.  I also get the pleasure of spoiling my grandkids when I visit them.  Feeling those little arms around my neck fills me with love that I can't even describe.

I continue to work to find my place in this world.  I hope that I can make it a better place.  Perhaps my writings will one day give my grandkids a better insight as to who I am and my belief system.  This is one of the greatest times in a parent's life.  It is also one of the hardest.  I know I need to learn how to savor it.

Growing Older

Last night while talking with my sister, I shared with her that my 50's were my favorite decade.  She was somewhat surprised.  Even though I have gone through some incredibly difficult thing such as divorce and bankruptcy, I have also gained a tremendous amount of wisdom.

The other day, my students asked me, "Miss, how old are you?"  I said, "How old do you think I am?"  I got the gamut from being in my 30's (yeah, I can smell someone who wants an A a mile away!) to my 40's.  When I shared my actual age, they were incredibly surprised!  They all said they thought I was in my early 40's.  I told them I loved them all!

Truth is, I wouldn't go back to my 40's for anything.  Looking at pictures, you can see how very unhappy and unhealthy I was.  The smile I wore was a facade for what I was truly feeling.  I can remember my co-workers asking me everyday if I was okay - I looked tired.  I WAS tired!  Tired of my life... I was living a lie.

Today, I live life authentically.  I try to be as honest as possible.  Life is too short for negativity.  You see, that is the beauty of growing old.  You appreciate each and every day.  You understand that life is not a given and that, at any moment, you could be gone.  You are joyful.  Yes, I have and continue to go through difficult times but I turn them over to God.   It is probably why I look and act like I don't have a care in the world!

I have lived a life with so many experiences...some good, other not so good.  Yet, I cherish all of these experiences because they are the building blocks of who I am today.  I have turned my life over to Christ and He is the cornerstone of the foundation upon which I have built my life.  I was always a believer but you never truly realize how important that statement is until you go through something incredibly devastating, such as losing someone  you love dearly, a divorce, losing a house or suffering from a debilitating illness and /or emotional issues.  

I have lived long enough to be a grandmother many times over, and the joy my grandchildren bring me is immense.  Although I loved having my own children, it is so amazing to see your own children with their babies, and to be able to nurture those children in ways you could never nurture your own.  Spending time with my grandchildren is probably the most enjoyable thing I do.

I am also an empty-nester, leaving me time for things I never had time for before; taking care of myself, spending time with my friends and enjoying a healthy relationship.  I love being able to pick up and head out to dinner or a movie without worrying about getting a babysitter.  I can facilitate Bible study AND have time to study the Bible without worrying about disruptions.

Yes, life is good.  If you're not there yet, you will be one day.  Enjoy the present.  It's called the present for a reason; because it is truly a gift from God.