Latest venture "A Minute of Grace"

The Paper

 

The assignment -- to write a about some aspect of your life.  It was a relatively easy assignment for some; riding skateboards for a hobby, where they lived, a friendship.  I was asked to help grade and by sheer luck, got one that was exceptionally well-written.  Yes, the young author understood the assignment well...to evoke emotion.

The problem is, I knew this emotion far too well.  It was despair ...brokenness...the kind of emotion never displayed by this particular student.  As I read on, I could feel his pain.  You see, his mother had left the family.  Based on what I could tell, it was not a typical divorce situation -- rather, it seemed she abandoned her family.  He was beyond grief.  He was devastated.

He wrote how he contemplated suicide.  Suddenly, I found myself with goose bumps.  I could empathize with his raw emotion.  How I know the sting of someone who has killed himself.  It leaves a powerful message -- a silent one that lingers in your heart for years. 

As I read the paper, I was shaking.  It struck fear in my heart.  Was this a suicide note or simply, a well-written paper.  One by an author who had taken things to the extreme?

At the end, he said that he wanted to remain alive for his siblings.  Did he really?  Would he keep the promise he wrote on paper? Could I trust his words?

It's always tough when you learn something about a student; something that you never saw coming.  It's like a freight train that rolls right over you.  This is a seemingly happy young man.  No signs of rebellion.  Not a hint of anything wrong at home.  A good student.  And yet, there it is in black and white.  The troubles he has at home.  His struggle to survive; to get through the day-to-day.

Over the years, I have heard many tales from my students.  I have had to turn their writings in to counselors, call Child Protective Services and even the Threat Assessment department.  It's never easy to do because at the end of the day, you have betrayed a confidence.

Yet, it is those "secrets" where darkness lies.  It is the hope of teachers that when we do intervene, that there will be a positive outcome.  Of course, we never really know for sure unless the student shares it with us.

I hope that at the end of the day, this boy does not feel betrayed but rather, supported by his teachers and school counselor.  That he knows he is not alone.  A single paper -- it reaches out to us and haunts us in ways no one can imagine.

 ^"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."  1 John 1:5


Taylor Mali "What Teachers Make"
https://youtu.be/RGKm201n-U4

Some Days...

This week has been one of those weeks.  It has been difficult to get through.  I have been tense, irritable and last night was spent crying!  You see, despite my best efforts, I am having to file for bankruptcy.  Yeah, it really stinks!  I was cruising along living paycheck-to-paycheck as I was working my two jobs, when I received a notice from a collection agency on our old mortgage, to the tune of $92,000.  That, my friends, was the impetus for making me cry, "Uncle!"

Now, I realize bankruptcy is a last resort. I understand that I have worked hard to avoid it.   But, it is the sting of having worked so darned hard the last two years and find it was for nothing.  That, is what kills me!

I suppose the lesson here is don't get into debt in the first place.  Several years ago (maybe 10 or more), I watched a show hosted by a well-known finance guru.  This person stated that mortgages and student loans were acceptable debt.  WRONG!  No debt is acceptable.  It is a weight that drags you down.

I have a plan for getting debt free (thank you, #Oola!),  and should be there by the time I retire; but, that is a good 15 years away.  All of this is a harsh price to pay for not having knowledge and attempting to get it from someone who does not follow God's principles when doling out theirs.  Truth is, I have little credit card debt yet I have a 73% debt to income ratio due to student and past mortgage loans.  To put it in perspective, the average debt is around a 25% debt to income ratio.

And so hopefully, someone who is thinking of going to school or purchasing a house or car will listen to the advice of Dave Ramsey.  He follows solid Biblical principles for debt.  The bottom line is stay out of it!  At this point in my life, even if I am able to, I will never buy a home again. I don't need the size nor the costs of maintaining one.  My car should be paid off in the next 5 years and it was fairly new at the time of purchase.  it will probably be the last car I will buy.  I use an ATM card exclusively and have no plans for getting a credit card.  As for school loans, well, I am not planning on returning to school.  I have a great education and although costly, I don't feel horrible about taking out those loans.  I have a career I love.  If I had a do-over, I would have worked more and taken more time to get through school.   I also would've have chosen a public school over a private one.  However, I can't complain -- my education is something that no one can take away from me! 

And so, as I move forward from this -- yet, another chapter in my life--I am grateful because I have the support of close friends and family.  This is a step that probably should have been done right after my divorce, but pride made me want to work to solve this problem.  Unfortunately, some problems are just too big to take on alone.  In spite of my best efforts, I have to humble myself.  I thank God for sending people my way who are able to pick me up in my brokenness and just pray.  Some days are harder than others but with the grace of God, I know all things will work out.  I will  "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonian 5:18. 

Amen!

**I highly recommend Dave's Financial Peace University.  Although I took it just a few years ago, I try to adhere to his principles.  In my opinion, they are Biblically and financially sound.

www.daveramsey.com

It's All in How you See It

This morning was not great. I've had a rough week and frankly, was feeling quite overwhelmed.  So, I did what I do when I am feeling terrible and confided in a friend.  My friend told me this: "It's early.  You will find something very special today.  Don't look with your head, look with your heart.  God is in the details."

I don't know about you, but in my world, those are some pretty powerful words.  I kept them close to my heart and with that, went to work.  I kept my eyes open all day.  I must confess, about halfway through the day, I figured my friend was just saying something nice -- something to appease me and help me get through the day.  I figured he probably says the same thing to his kids when they're upset.  But truthfully, it wasn't a bad strategy...It got me through my day!  Nothing particularly outstanding happened; however, it was the anticipation that something might happen that kept me engaged.  I felt like I was on a scavenger hunt of sorts as I watched and looked for something special to jump out at me.

When I got home from work, I sent my friend a note and thanked him for his kindness.  After all, his words offered some powerful encouragement.  And they helped me at a time when I couldn't really help myself.

At the time I wrote him, my day was only about 2/3 over.  I still had my tutoring job.  And so again, with a bit of anticipation, I drove to work.  I looked at the horizon.  Would I see something there?  The mountains were a beautiful backdrop, but basically, the same as any other day.  As I got to the building where I tutor, I looked out at Lake Mead.  Nothing.  I went inside to work; somewhat disappointed but not terribly surprised.

The first hour passed quickly.  The kids that were there needed help with math, science and English.  There was a bit of a lull as the tutors waited for the second group to arrive.  Catching our breaths, we talked among ourselves about our spring break.  As we did, two familiar faces -- brothers -- arrived.  In March, they were new to the center. It was their first day when I discovered the younger boy, who was in eighth grade, couldn't read.  I was shocked.  After all, how does a child get that far in school without a teacher noticing or bringing him along further?  He was reading at a pre-K level.  That day, I told him if he worked hard, I could get him reading by May.   A bold promise, but I felt fairly confident he would certainly be reading better than he was at the time.  We were both eager to begin.

 I worked on several reading strategies to figure out his starting point.  He was able to demonstrate he knew letter sounds...definitely a good sign!  I gave him a Dolch sight word list and assigned him "homework"; something we never do in tutoring.  He was to learn a column of words each week.  We would practice the words when he came to tutoring.   This past Tuesday,  I was out because I was sick; however, today I heard him read for the first time in about two weeks.  He was reading at a first grade level; not struggling, but rather fluently!!  I was not just shocked but incredibly proud of the work he had done.  He was reading!  Not just that -- he was playing sight word BINGO on the computer.  Fun, but no easy task.  The words were said aloud and he had very little time to locate them on the card.  However, he scored 80% or higher on all of his games.

My eyes brimmed with tears as I told him how proud I was of him.  I also shared with him that a friend told me something very special would happen today -- and that, his reading was it!  He had a big smile on his face when I shared that with him! 

And so, as I prepare to leave my second job at the end of this school year, I know that I have helped a young man gain a sense of worth and self-esteem.  I'm certain his reading will continue to improve.  He not only has the desire to learn but the motivation.  God also put me in his path so that I could give him the tools he needed to be successful.  To this day, I'm not certain how he got to eighth grade without knowing how to read.  To me, it's unthinkable!  As special educators we are busy -- but never THAT busy as to help a child who is that far behind!  However, in all fairness, I don't know his story.  There is a reason he is in a therapeutic center.  He is getting the care he deserves now.

My only hope is that after I leave the center, someone will continue to work with him.  I hope as he grows older, that his success continues.  Maybe -- just maybe-- he will remember me; and have a big smile on his face when he does.  These are the moments that teachers live for -- seeing a child begin to reach their potential!

As for the positive words I heard this morning?  They gave me the expectation that something very special would happen today...and it did!  A prayer of sorts that God answered.

So what did the teacher learn?  First, I learned not to doubt God, as He puts some pretty amazing people in your path each and every day.  Look at my incredible friend; one who took time from his day to teach this teacher something.  His lesson?  Positivity breeds positivity.  You never know what crazy amazing things God has in store for you...a lesson we all need to learn!

"God's Great Dance Floor" by Chris Tomlin
https://youtu.be/lX5139rmgGw

Son Rise

Today, many churches had multiple services, including sunrise services.  These seem to be particularly popular.  But today, I'd like to write about THE Son -- God's Son.  And how this Son rose.

When His followers went to the tomb, they did not find Him.  Jesus' tomb was empty.  Interesting, since crucifixion always lead to death and the expectation was to find his
corpse.  So, how can it be that the tomb was empty?  His followers suddenly had to implement
a paradigm shift; one of death to life.  Salvation not condemnation.  We are part of God's great plan -- Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice so that we could be saved!  The Lamb of God came to take away the sins of the world.  That is something to rejoice!

Today, we praise God for the grace and mercy He has shown us.  He could have easily condemned our unyielding spirits to a life of damnation.  Instead, He is compassionate and gracious to us.  He forgives us.  All we have to do is ask.

And so, I am going to share Paul's words with you. This is from Colossians 1:1-14 (NIV)

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,^{[e] 10} so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, ¹¹ being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, ¹² and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you^[f] to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. ¹³ For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

If you feel a stirring in your heart when reading this, that is God calling to you.  He is saying, "You are mine, beloved."  These words are the keys that open the door to heaven.  In this passage, Paul tells us to invite the Holy Spirit into our life and live a life worthy of God.  Please Him in every way by doing meaningful work and growing in the knowledge of God; read the Bible, go to church, learn from solid Christian leaders, go to a Bible study or read a devotional.  Allow Him to strengthen you with endurance and patience.  Give thanks to God -- and not just for the good; the good AND the bad.   "...give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV).  Lastly, ask Him to forgive you of your sins. 

You see, being a Christian means more than going to church once a week.  It is a responsibility one accepts to help make life better for others.  Easter is a beautiful holiday.  It is a reminder than Jesus overcame death and He did it for US.  You, me -- anyone who accepts Him into their life.   He shines a light on the darkest of places.  If you aren't leading a Christian life, you will know it.  How?  Well, here are a few questions -- just some easy ones to see where your heart lies. 

When you see someone who is struggling, do you offer words of encouragement?  Or pretend you don't see the hurt in their eyes?  Do you pay it forward when someone helps you?  Or do you reap the rewards and move on?  Are you self-centered or Christ-centered? 

Allow Him to work in you and through you.  Use His light to help you shine in the lives of others.  Don't just be an example but live a life worthy of  the sacrifice He made for us --His death. 

As you drive into work tomorrow, look as the sun rises-- and think about Jesus and what he did.  In your eyes, how does this sunrise compare to the Son that has risen?  God is around us, in us and through us.  Today, is a new day and you are a new person...because the Son rose.

"We Believe" by The Newsboys
https://youtu.be/FtPmX7e_Rpw






























 

Good Friday: Mourning

 

 

 

Matthew 27: 45-66 (CEV) gives the following account of the death of Jesus.

 

⁴⁵ At noon the sky turned dark and stayed that way until three o’clock. ⁴⁶ Then about that time Jesus shouted, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?”^[g] which means, “My God, my God, why have you deserted me?”
⁴⁷ Some of the people standing there heard Jesus and said, “He’s calling for Elijah.”^{[h] 48} One of them at once ran and grabbed a sponge. He soaked it in wine, then put it on a stick and held it up to Jesus.
⁴⁹ Others said, “Wait! Let’s see if Elijah will come^[i] and save him.” ⁵⁰ Once again Jesus shouted, and then he died.
⁵¹ At once the curtain in the temple^[j] was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, and rocks split apart. ⁵² Graves opened, and many of God’s people were raised to life. ⁵³ Then after Jesus had risen to life, they came out of their graves and went into the holy city, where they were seen by many people.
⁵⁴ The officer and the soldiers guarding Jesus felt the earthquake and saw everything else that happened. They were frightened and said, “This man really was God’s Son!”
⁵⁵ Many women had come with Jesus from Galilee to be of help to him, and they were there, looking on at a distance. ⁵⁶ Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of James and John^[k] were some of these women.
⁵⁷ That evening a rich disciple named Joseph from the town of Arimathea ⁵⁸ went and asked for Jesus' body. Pilate gave orders for it to be given to Joseph, ⁵⁹ who took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen cloth. ⁶⁰ Then Joseph put the body in his own tomb that had been cut into solid rock^[l] and had never been used. He rolled a big stone against the entrance to the tomb and went away.
⁶¹ All this time Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were sitting across from the tomb.
⁶² On the next day, which was a Sabbath, the chief priests and the Pharisees went together to Pilate. ⁶³ They said, “Sir, we remember what that liar said while he was still alive. He claimed that in three days he would come back from death. ⁶⁴ So please order the tomb to be carefully guarded for three days. If you don’t, his disciples may come and steal his body. They will tell the people that he has been raised to life, and this last lie will be worse than the first one.”^[m]
65 Pilate said to them, “All right, take some of your soldiers and guard the tomb as well as you know how.” ⁶⁶ So they sealed it tight and placed soldiers there to guard it.


As you read through this passage, what do you feel?  Do you feel anything?  I personally find myself wondering, how did Jesus' mother feel?  After all, she watched her son be brutally tortured and murdered for crimes he didn't commit.

What about Peter?  After watching Jesus' punishment, he distanced himself from his Lord.  He said he didn't know him -- not once, but three times.  How did he feel after that?   Did he suffer immense guilt?  Was he surprised at Jesus knowledge he would deny Him?

Mary Magdalene?  Here was a man who accepted her just as she was -- imagine the grief of losing someone who loved you unconditionally.

What about the other apostles?  Did they hide?  Were they scared?  Saddened?  Upset they didn't fight for him?

And so, Good Friday is a time of reflection.  A time to think about how Christ suffered for us.  He died so that we could live. He did not condemn us;  yet, he was condemned.  It is a cruel irony.

Christians around the world mourn.  Good Friday is a day leading up to one of the holiest days in the Christian faith.  So, as Easter approaches, think about Jesus.  What does his death mean to you?  Let the enormity of His sacrifice stir in your heart.  Feel the pain of those closest to Him.  He was a living, breathing person who died for us.  His crime?  Nothing.  He just happened to be the Son of God, born for one sole purpose -- to save the world.

"In Christ Alone" by Adrienne Liesching and Geoff Moore
https://youtu.be/PlZGRydoUpQ





 

Karma's a Bitch!

 

 

Today I looked squarely in the eyes of karma and it wasn't pretty.  What I saw was a broken man and it didn't feel good.  It's interesting I saw this today, as it is Maundy Thursday -- a day when Jesus was betrayed by Judas.

 

Maundy comes from the Latin "mandatum" which means commandment(www.aboutreligion.com).  Toward the end of the Last Supper, Jesus gave the following commandment: ³⁴ “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  John 13:34-35 (NIV)   Of course, prior to this moment, Jesus knew he was about to be betrayed by his friend and disciple Judas.

 

John 13:21-30  (CEV) gives this account of the betrayal:

 

After Jesus had said these things, he was deeply troubled and told his disciples, “I tell you for certain that one of you will betray me.” ²² They were confused about what he meant. And they just stared at each other.

²³ Jesus' favorite disciple was sitting next to him at the meal, ²⁴ and Simon motioned for that disciple to find out which one Jesus meant. ²⁵ So the disciple leaned toward Jesus and asked, “Lord, which one of us are you talking about?”
²⁶ Jesus answered, “I will dip this piece of bread in the sauce and give it to the one I was talking about.”
Then Jesus dipped the bread and gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. ²⁷ Right then Satan took control of Judas.
Jesus said, “Judas, go quickly and do what you have to do.” ²⁸ No one at the meal understood what Jesus meant. ²⁹ But because Judas was in charge of the money, some of them thought that Jesus had told him to buy something they needed for the festival. Others thought that Jesus had told him to give some money to the poor. ³⁰ Judas took the piece of bread and went out.

As a result of  Judas' actions, the hours following were chaos.  Christ was beaten within an inch of his life and the crowds turned against Him.  He was crucified.  Judas, filled with guilt, hung himself.  Did karma find him? 

Just so you get a better understanding, here is what happens when one is crucified; the death process.  This is how it is described in www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com:

"Scourging was just part of Jesus’ punishment and was more than a severe beating.  It involved whips or lashes made of leather thongs which were attached to a handle.  These thongs contained metal fragments and pieces of bones that literally tore the flesh off of Jesus.  After Jesus was scourged it was recorded to say, “When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, “Here is the man” (John 19:5)!  What Pilate was really saying was, “Look at this man!  Isn’t this enough?  He’s hardly recognizable as a human being.  Look at Him!”  Even with this bloody pulp of a Man, they still screamed, “Crucify Him” (John 19:6)!" After that, "they also attached a crown of thorns that were likely 1 to 2 inch thorns of briar that were hard as oak and they likely penetrated not only through the skin but penetrated parts of the skull bone.  This would have caused a large loss of blood and created severe hemorrhaging of the brain tissues.  By the time Jesus went to the cross, He had pieces of His flesh hanging off of Him and He had large open wounds that bled profusely.  He also must have been unrecognizable because Isaiah records in 52:14 that “Just as many were astonished at you, my people, so His appearance was marred more than any man And His form more than the sons of men.”  Jesus was little more than a piece of meat by the time he was forced to carry his own cross. 

When he arrived at the designated place, he was nailed to it; not with ordinary nails but with what were essentially similar to railroad spikes.  The spikes went through his wrists and with one foot placed on top of the other, through both feet.  People who were crucified used their feet to push up and take a breath.  It was an exhausting death practice.

So, how would you react if someone did something that provoked so much pain on you?  Wish for karma?  Pray that God would let you see it?  What did Jesus do?  What did He pray for?

Luke 23:34 , “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”

That, my friends, is the true spirit of agape love.  Defined on www.BibleQuestionsAnswered.com , "agape is love which is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself."  It is a love that is difficult to comprehend.  Perhaps unconditional is the closest type of love we can understand.  It is the love he spoke of when he gave the commandment "...Love one another. As I have loved you..."
 John 13:34-35

So, the next time you wish for karma on someone who has done you wrong, think of a better way to handle your anger and frustration. Forgive as Jesus forgave us.  After all, if we were to get the karma we deserved instead of the love that Christ gave us... trust me, it would be a bitch!


"Aaron's Blessing" by Fernando Ortega
https://youtu.be/m5P6PdBPQpA