Thursday, April 23, 2015

The Paper

 



The assignment -- to write a about some aspect of your life.  It was a relatively easy assignment for some; riding skateboards for a hobby, where they lived, a friendship.  I was asked to help grade and by sheer luck, got one that was exceptionally well-written.  Yes, the young author understood the assignment well...to evoke emotion.

The problem is, I knew this emotion far too well.  It was despair ...brokenness...the kind of emotion never displayed by this particular student.  As I read on, I could feel his pain.  You see, his mother had left the family.  Based on what I could tell, it was not a typical divorce situation -- rather, it seemed she abandoned her family.  He was beyond grief.  He was devastated.

He wrote how he contemplated suicide.  Suddenly, I found myself with goose bumps.  I could empathize with his raw emotion.  How I know the sting of someone who has killed himself.  It leaves a powerful message -- a silent one that lingers in your heart for years. 

As I read the paper, I was shaking.  It struck fear in my heart.  Was this a suicide note or simply, a well-written paper.  One by an author who had taken things to the extreme?

At the end, he said that he wanted to remain alive for his siblings.  Did he really?  Would he keep the promise he wrote on paper? Could I trust his words?

It's always tough when you learn something about a student; something that you never saw coming.  It's like a freight train that rolls right over you.  This is a seemingly happy young man.  No signs of rebellion.  Not a hint of anything wrong at home.  A good student.  And yet, there it is in black and white.  The troubles he has at home.  His struggle to survive; to get through the day-to-day.

Over the years, I have heard many tales from my students.  I have had to turn their writings in to counselors, call Child Protective Services and even the Threat Assessment department.  It's never easy to do because at the end of the day, you have betrayed a confidence.

Yet, it is those "secrets" where darkness lies.  It is the hope of teachers that when we do intervene, that there will be a positive outcome.  Of course, we never really know for sure unless the student shares it with us.

I hope that at the end of the day, this boy does not feel betrayed but rather, supported by his teachers and school counselor.  That he knows he is not alone.  A single paper -- it reaches out to us and haunts us in ways no one can imagine.

 "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."  1 John 1:5


Taylor Mali "What Teachers Make"
https://youtu.be/RGKm201n-U4

No comments:

Post a Comment