Summer has barely begun and already, the back-to-school anxiety dreams for summer school have started! I am sitting in my rocker and thinking back to the past year. Of the six years I have taught, this is the first year I have suffered burnout. I was told in education school that burnout would happen between years five and eight. If you could get past it, you would last forever. I'm not sure why I had such a difficult year. It was a challenging year from both an administrative and student standpoint. We had many new things "thrown" at us and there was no option to not "get it". We had to learn. It is hard in this technologically evolving world when one comes from the days of a slide rule. However, I hung in there, and despite the challenges, realize that there were many successes in this school year.
I taught students who were placed in the specific learning disabilities category. That can cover a multitude of things -- from math to reading to writing. Some students were also English as Second language Learners; impacting their ability to learn even more difficult. I also had students that were severely emotionally challenged, suffered autism and had other health impairments. In other words, on any given day, I could have a student shouting obscenities at me, making an obscene gesture or having a grand mal seizure. Everyday was different; each child was different. And yet, as a special educator, I understand that this is the classroom in which I thrive.
It is not easy to teach to different abilities; from those who do not know the difference between a penny and a dime to others that are learning pre-algebra. Nor is it easy to help them understand abstract concepts, such as writing a paragraph on a subject that interests them, to distinguishing between a verb and an adverb. And so, each day is a challenge; what particular lesson is going to help these 10-15 students in my classroom learn? What is going to challenge a freshman as much as a senior? It is daily reflection and often times, a quick change in plans when I find that a lesson simply isn't working. It takes problem solving and thinking on your feet.
I love the job that I have and I love the students that I work with; and likewise, I believe they love being in my classroom. When asked by an administrator why I thought I was an effective teacher I told him this; "My first period students all show up to their English class. They do so, not because they love the subject matter but because they like how I present it." (And truthfully, I think they probably like me).
For instance, I had one student who was not even in any of my classes but who came in daily to get a hug. He is a senior and just needs to know that someone cares. I had several students come to me during their class period and just want to talk when they were having a bad day. Some may say, this is work avoidance. Possibly. However, it was important to them and therefore, I am not going to say no to the request. I will make sure my other students are on task and peer through the window as we discuss life's latest turns and how they can cope.
But it's more than that...this year, I reflected on my students' finals. In History, I found the majority of my students not just heard about the Civil War, the American Revolution, World War I and World War II in a semester, but actually learned about them. What started the Civil War? Graphing important dates from the American Revolution on a timeline! Who were the Allies and Central Powers? What was D-day? What started World War I? Why was WW1 instrumental to the start of WW 2. These are all exceedingly complex topics and they aced them! I was happy...beyond happy -- thrilled! These students, most of whom have reading comprehension issues, could indeed learn. I had tapped into them by keeping the subject matter brief and hammering home the key points.
In English, my students -- many who struggled with written expression difficulties -- were writing papers. Granted, they used basic language but they could write a topic sentence, three paragraphs and a conclusion. They understood the difference between a sentence and a sentence fragment. They learned the difference between a sentence, a question and a declarative. They were actually capitalizing the first word in a sentence and ending it with a period. They could answer the "wh" questions such as "Who are the characters?" "Where is this happening?" while reading, "Of Mice and Men". Although this may seem inconsequential, this is huge for the majority of students with whom I work.
In March, I met a boy who was an eighth grader and who could not read. By May, he had learned sight words from pre-K through 2nd grade. He could answer questions with a complete sentence and write it with little support. This, from a boy who did not know whether or not he had been at the center 3 days or 3 weeks when we met!
Why am I telling you this? I personally find all of this quite miraculous. It is not me that is able to bring about these changes in students but God. I believe His hand to be in my work. Everyday as I drive into school, I pray. I pray for my students and my day. I pray that I am able to do His work.
I also try to be extremely positive with my students. There are some days they get under my skin but more often, bring a smile to my face. Next year, I will be moving back to elementary. It is with some trepidation but I know there are other children that need me. In my mind, it will be my last move within the school system. I plan to stay there until I retire in 15 years or so.
As sad as my students were to hear I was leaving, when that last bell rang, they all bolted out the door. Typical teenagers. It's summer and fun awaits! Not just for the students but also, for the teacher...
And so, I reread a parent note which says, "Your gift for teaching & nurturing each special child will always be appreciated both as the seeds you previously planted and those you will continue to make sure they are growing into fine young men & women." It makes my heart beat a little faster. The passion for teaching and learning is still there. This is why I love what I do...because to some, we do make a difference and they, to us.
Class dismissed!
