Visions of Sugar Plums

 

 

I hope this blog doesn't come off as trivializing the pain one can feel when they go through a life-changing circumstance.   I personally lost both my parents around the holidays.  And when I divorced, I never envisioned my life quite like this.  I had imagined my ex and I would remain friends -- that we could still celebrate holidays and be there for our children.  However, today I see a hand on a phonograph needle on a record, and sliding across the record slowly -- putting a big, deep scratch in it.  I also hear the sound that typically goes with it.  For whatever reason, that is not possible.  And I'm okay with that.  Traditions be damned..  And so, here we go -- what has become another adventure on my life journey

This Christmas was nothing like I had imagined or planned.  Last night, I was blessed with getting to watch one of my former students get married.  She was only with me a year, but we forged a bond.  Her parents are out of the country and unable to attend.  So, she asked me to attend; a last minute invitation.  I am a little teary-eyed thinking about it.  I am incredibly proud of her -- she is in the Army and a sharp-shooter.  Yes, my little 5'2" student can pack a rifle.  Something I never envisioned -- but then again, who envisions their life as anything but something out of a storybook?

Last night, I was blessed because my youngest son was with me.  I was unable to find our traditional beef tenderloin and after going to four different grocery stores said, "The hell with it!  We're going to have pizza and watch movies!"  Yes, I never EVER envisioned a Christmas Eve with that tradition.  But you know what?  I was totally down for it.  We watched "Christmas Vacation", ate our pizza and a few Christmas cookies.  We watched a Christmas drum corps video, as that's his passion.  It was a quiet night -- more importantly, it was a nice night.  I never made it to church, something that I definitely missed -- but I got to spend time with family; something so fundamentally important.  I am ever grateful for that.

Today, I picked up my oldest son.  What do you do for Christmas Day when you don't feel like cooking and live in Las Vegas?  Why, go to a buffet, of course!  Apparently, everyone leaves Las Vegas at Christmastime because let's face it.  This is definitely not a place where you want to spend the holidays.  Even the shows close down until New Year's Eve so the celebrities can spend time with their families.  Well,  Merry Christmas to us -- a buffet with no lines!   Funny, how your perspective can change after a few years out here. We had plenty to eat, great conversation and came home to some freshly brewed coffee and to open gifts sent from out-of-state relatives.

So, I guess my point today is -- what do you do when your life is turned upside down?  Whether from divorce, separation, the loss of a loved one, or any other number of other things that can impact your life so dramatically?  Do you continue as if nothing happened?  Or do you change it up a bit?  Last year, I intentionally tried to change it up.  Frankly, that didn't work as well as I had liked.  This year, I just let things happen.  I didn't have a plan to get through it -- I just did it.  When Plan A went out the window, I moved onto Plan B.  And you know what?  It was a truly amazing Christmas!  God allowed some really wonderful things to shine through in a time that could be otherwise very dark and depressing. 

And so, whether you intentionally go through the motions or just let things happen -- it doesn't matter.  What matters is spending time with those you love.  It's really not about the gifts -- trust me! Certainly, when you have smaller children -- yes, having the gifts can be important.  But my children are adults.  And we've learned in the past couple of years that, the Grinch was right -- Christmas really doesn't come from a store.  It's about God, family and friends, something good to eat and some great conversation.   We've celebrated the last two Christmases without exchanging gifts and you know what?  Those have been incredible times.  We did not get caught up in the craziness of shopping.  We did not overspend.  We did not have to deal with crowds.  Most of all, we looked to Him.  He provided us with everything.  His light shined in the darkness as He carried us through, what would otherwise have been difficult times.

So, my advice today?  Don't get caught up in the dreams of yesterday.  Live in the here and now.  Let go of the sadness, the pain, the drama, the stress and everything that has taken ahold of you.  Rather, give it all to God.  Let Him fill you up.  Life is constantly changing.  Circumstances change.  The one thing that remains constant and can be a constant in your life is your faith.  That's all that really matters.

So, spend the remaining hours of Christmas Day with your loved ones.  Get in some extra sleep.  Eat a few extra calories.  And enjoy!  Life is good.   It's your choice.  Live in the here and now or live in your dreams.  Embrace the journey -- whatever it is.  Your life -- and where you are today -- is exactly as God planned it!


"Different Kind of Christmas" by Mark Schultz

http://youtu.be/5PBEMfbWq_Y

Getting Rich Quick

Last night, I went to a party with a group of former colleagues.  Such a blessing to spend time with those I have loved and worked with  side-by-side.  Most of us are single and began comparing notes on our experiences with dating websites.  Some have been incredibly fortunate and found the love of their life.  Others, like myself, not so much.  However, we began trading stories.  I was amazed at what I heard.  I mean, I'm 50-something, and have heard a lot in my lifetime.  Yet, these stories really blew me away.

You know, being on the websites had made me feel like I was in college again.  People really don't change much as they get older.  They may move slower but I am finding out one thing-- everyone wants sex--the topic of last night's conversation.

Now, I went on the websites for a simple reason; I was hoping to find someone to have coffee with and go see a movie.  A friend or maybe even, romance.  I found a great friend but the trouble is, he lives in Ohio.  I'm certain if we lived closer, he would be the coffee and movie guy I dreamed of.  So, unable to see him on a regular basis, I did the next best thing and continued to look.  The problem is, the longer I was on the websites, the more complicated life became.

As I dated, I was looking specifically for Christians to hang out with -- more in common, some spirituality and depth, and not looking for sex.  WRONG!  They all asked me -- even the Christians -- if I would have sex with them. On first dates, no less!  Pray before the meal and as we're talking, the topic turns to sex.   Interesting.  Christians want sex.   And I dare say, as much as anyone else -- if not, more.  Now, I am not judging; rather, this is just an observation.  It shows how far we all fall on a daily basis.  Even though we know what God wants for us, we are willing to be disobedient; and quite easily, too.  It is eye-opening, disappointing and has rocked my world.  I expected this from men but women too?  What I gleaned from last night's conversation is that men are harassed just as much as women!  Now that was eye-opening. For, I didn't realize that women were willing to put themselves out there so easily.

 I can certainly understand from the perspective of a young woman --her naïveté puts her at a disadvantage but the people having this conversation were in their 50's and 60's.  No naïveté there...we have lived!  We have, I'm certain, all experienced the pitfalls of having sex on a first date.  So, why do men and women continue to put themselves in such a compromising position?  Why are they so willing to sell themselves short?  Is that time when one has sex so wonderful that you are willing to give up all that you stand for in order to satisfy a primal urge? 

I have been told over and over again by my friends that I am too honest with the men I date.  I'm told over and over again, don't tell them so much!  I don't know...they're probably right but I think honesty is a good thing.  Am I alone in this?  I personally would rather have someone who is brutally honest with me than someone who misrepresents themselves.  Before we go out, tell me that sex is what is on your mind because if that's what it's about then I can set you straight right then and there...you're not getting laid on a first date!  Oh wait! I have done that!  And they've said "okay", kept the date and still asked!  So where is the disconnect?

I often direct men to my blog.  Not to get more readers but to really let them have a sense of who I am.  I am not the average nor am I willing to settle for the average.  I am willing to wait for a commitment to have sex -- and yes, the temptation is there.  I'm 54 years old and there are days when I want to feel younger and better than I already do.  And sex will definitely do that.  You are desired and wanted.  But it will also drag you down when the guy doesn't call again.  It will make you have self-doubt and self-loathing.  Likewise, not having sex can do the same thing--especially, if you are not very together in your head.  Because, when the guy drives off into the sunset because you chose to wait, you are -- at the end of the day--alone.  So, is it worth it to wait?  Sometimes yes, sometimes no.  But the truth is, when you are "not in the moment", waiting is always better.  Once sex enters, at least in my experience, relationships stagnate.  They start to become all about the sex.

Now, not that I am on websites anymore but I have put it out there.   First date?  So not interested.  I have written it, said it, done everything but take out a billboard -- over and over again and yet, men that I have dated, don't see it.  They don't want to see it.  What they do want is their 30 minutes (and I'm being generous here).  They don't want the forever.  Oh, they write it on their profile and it looks good on paper.  But here's the thing; and I want all of you to listen closely--  a relationship is like investing.

 If you are in for the short-term, then you may get lucky and get rich quick.  But money comes and goes.  If you are in for the long-term, then you will become much richer in the long haul.  Your investment will grow.  In other words, if you are too short-sighted to see the long-term, that's fine.  But one day (probably sooner than later), sex is not going to be that priority.  Rather love, commitment and someone who, despite your inability to have sex, is going to wake up next to you and wipe your butt when you are too sick or old to do it yourself.  Or when you are 50 pounds overweight and your love still tells you how beautiful or handsome you are.  They will flirt with you and give you amazing kisses and massages.  There IS more to life than the "act" itself.  You have to want it, though.  You have to move beyond the here and now; difficult but not impossible.

So for all of you who do continue to go to dating websites -- men and women-- I would just encourage those that are looking for a "quick" fix to slow down a bit.  Think about the long-term.  Life is short.  It goes fast -- too fast.  Remember when you were 30?  It seems like it was a couple of years ago!   Your 70's and 80's will be here before you know it.  Do you want to be alone?  Do you want to be with someone who is 20 years your junior and then decides, I'm so out of here because you are unable to perform sexually?  Because if sex is what you're looking for -- that's what you're going to get.  But if you're looking for forever, then seek out those people who are "real"; that say what they mean.  Look for those people -- because when you find one, you will be rich indeed.

The Truth about Internet Dating

 

Today marks a day in my personal history.  That is, the day that all Internet dating has ceased once and for all.  Yeah, it's over.  I've given up on my quest for love.  The fallout from internet dating far surpasses the benefits at this point.  And so, the last of my accounts are closed.  It's safe to say, I won't go back.  Ladies, this is for you.  If I can save you a lot of time, headache and trouble, then this last year will have been worth it.  By the way, this is a gross over-generalization and written tongue-in-cheek.  In other words, keep your shorts on, fellas! 

You see, I'm from the past.  I'm from the era where you actually meet someone face-to-face, strike up a conversation, exchange phone numbers and talk.  You may meet up at a later time for that first date or maybe not.  It is slow and simple.  In the old days, it was much easier to catch what we called a "Casanova".  In today's lingo -- a player.

The world of Internet dating is from the future.  It is this sort of hurry-up kind of place where you meet someone, learn the most basic of information about them and go from there.  Except, they could live out of state or cross-country.  Let's face it -- they could say they have three kids but do you know that to be true?  Have you seen them?  Have you even heard the sound of their voice or seen those subtle body language cues that are oh-so-important, such as looking in your eyes instead of at another girl's bum when talking to you.   Think I am joking?  How I wish I were...

Some people have had a lot of luck meeting the love of their life online; and I'm not being facetious.  I don't think I understand it; perhaps I am naïve but I don't how to get from point A to point B,  let alone get married.  Part of it is luck.  Part of it is understanding the nuances of Internet dating.  Part of it is just understanding men.  I don't think I understand any of these.

 I know I share too much of myself.  It is, unfortunately, who I am.  I want whoever is involved with me to understand that I am one hell of a complex person.  BUT, if they can get past that, they are going to get the golden ring -- most can't stomach it.  They want easy not forever.  And I don't mean easy as in s*e*x but rather, a more superficial relationship.  Hmmm, maybe I do mean sex?

 Many men thought I was crazy -- I wasn't.  I was something that is rare in this day and age -- truthful and painfully honest about myself.  Unfortunately, no one wants to hear that.  Men want the sugar-coated version.  At 50-something, I find there is no way to sugar-coat your past, and you shouldn't have to;  you are who you are -- and it's not bad!  It is just a culmination of different experiences.   Remember that!

I also find, I'm young at heart and the 57-60+ age group is too old for me.  Yes, it's true.  I am a crazy, fun person and yet, I'm meeting guys who have poor health, fallen arches or a perpetual scowl.  Sorry but, that just won't do.  I am a highly intelligent and witty woman who loves to smile.  If  men in my age group can't keep up with me, I have to ratchet it up a notch and move down an age group.  However, that poses yet another problem.  Because, what 40-something wants to be with a 50-something -- with the exception of Hugh Jackman, who in my eyes is a hero.  To them, I'm like their aunt Lottie.  Date a 50-something?  Not on your life -- they're looking for the 20-something!

Another problem?  Pictures.  Yes, I tried very hard to put my most recent pictures on my profile.  I think those within the last year is fair.  Yet, guys wanted more.  A full body view.  Meanwhile, men are posting 10-15 year old pics.  A word here, if I may-- faded pics are a sure sign they are old!  And way more than 5 years.  Just sayin'.... 

I have also been  straight up and told men, if you don't like curvy women, you don't want me.  I have even gone so far as to use words like "Rubenesque" and "plus-sized".  However, for those that needed more than the verbal and visual cues,  I was quick to point out I need to lose 50 pounds.  Now, I don't know about you but to me, telling someone I need to lose 50 pounds is exceedingly straight-forward.  Honest.  And really?  I think, says it all!   So, why did they act surprised when they saw me?  It's not like I didn't forewarn them! Furthermore, these were the very men who assured me they didn't care about the physical...until they saw me...and then, it became an issue.   And it put one more chink in my already, somewhat banged-up armor.  Fortunately, I am a tough-old-broad and have learned to develop a thick skin.  But today I am saying it -- enough is enough!

You see, when a man smiles at me and looks like a jack-o-lantern or has the physique of one whose middle-aged paunch and bald head screams,  "too little testosterone", please don't proceed to tell me how "hot" I need to look.   Ladies, if he could get the "hot" chick, I guarantee you, he would be with her!  What men are getting with me is quality.  A class act.  Educated, funny, faith-filled and fun to be with -- more fun than the "hottie".  And do I dare say it?  One whose age and experience can be a definite plus.  Trust me -- if a man is looking at her while being with me-- other men are going to be looking at her while she's with him.  So, a word to the wise --be careful what you wish for...you might just get it!

Furthermore, when I say to a man you are not getting sex on a first date then I would hope he would hear that because it is the truth!  I don't expect to have to fight a man off after he has spent the evening telling me how he wants someone else...a "hot" chick.    I may be fat but my self-esteem is quite intact, no thanks to him-- and I definitely don't need sex or a man to affirm the person I know I am.  So ladies, a word of caution.  Don't let a man define who you are...you define who you are first, then seek a man who fits your definition of someone who is worth having.

So ladies, there it is...the hard truth about Internet dating.   I wish I had something more positive to report.  How about this?   It has been a crazy, whirlwind year but now, it is time for a return to sanity and normalcy that real life provides.  If you're looking for some excitement and meeting lots of new people, do it.  But do so with the knowledge that the chances of meeting "Mr. Right" are about the same as meeting "Mr. Cheapskate", "Mr. Serial-Cheater", "Mr. Married Man", and "Mr. Psycho".  I live in Las Vegas, and not even I like those odds!


"Let's Do It" by Kim Basinger

http://youtu.be/hQdnPxWu7zQ

Love One Another

Today in class, I was talking about the Bill of Rights.  The first amendment states we have the freedom of speech, religion, press and assembly. Who knew this would spark a discussion on the current state of race relations in the United States today?

You know, it is really hard for me to talk about race in America, let alone write about it.  It is difficult, because I grew up in a small town; one that was racially divided.  The maids for the upper middle class were all black.  We were the second Jewish family to join the country club and the black people only worked there.   I always considered our cleaning lady, a black woman, to be part of the family -- I called, visited until she told me where she lived was just too dangerous to come around for a visit, and loved her until the day she passed, -- which was just a few years ago.  To me, she was my second mother.   And yet, this from a child that grew up in a home that was less than tolerant of other races.  I try to stay away from discussions about racial topics because I know where I came from and I fear that there is a tiny part of me that may harbor a piece of the town I grew up in. 

I grew up in the 1960's.  Back then it was considered okay (at least in my world), to refer to black people as negroes or colored.  In the 1970's, the politically correct term was black.  As times changed, the term became African American.  The entire time my children were in middle and high school, they accused me of being racist because I referred to African Americans as blacks.  Apparently, it is now okay to use that term.  I didn't know that until just a few months ago.

So, if I am feeling so awkward, what about the rest of America?  Apparently, this is quite the conversation around the kitchen table as I was told by a student today that his mother said all policemen were racist.  Now, it is really hard for me to address that; first of all, because this boy said it with conviction and he clearly believed his mother.  The question became, how do I brooch this subject delicately yet tactfully without coming off as racist?  My white aide was likewise uncomfortable, yet this was a talk we had not had with the class.  And for whatever reason, I suppose God felt it was time.

So, using examples he could understand, we talked about how it feels to be in another person's shoes.  I, for one, cannot imagine growing up in an urban area because I didn't.  I cannot imagine what it feels like to be black because I'm not.  However, I do understand racial profiling.  My married name is clearly not a Smith or a Jones.  And so, every time I flew after the 9/11 attacks, I was put through intense scrutiny at airport security.  I even had my hands checked a couple of times for explosive residues.  Yet, being married at the time, my ex never had to do any of that; even though he was middle-eastern and carried the same last name.  Guilt by association?  However, I personally didn't mind the inconvenience.  In my mind, if that is what is needed to keep myself and others safe, go for it!

I also talked with this boy, and my class, about the part the media played in stirring the pot.  In my humble opinion,  I believe they did.  After all, bad news makes better copy than good news in this day and age.  And so, they did their best to heighten the tensions of the day with their commentary.
I have to wonder, if it was a black police officer who was involved, would there have been as much of a stir?  What about a white suspect and a white police officer?  I honestly don't think it would have made the news, much less the headlines.

And so, at the end of the day, speculation doesn't matter because there are lives lost.  It is sad because "we the people" doesn't seem to be happening in this country.  We are not a people that are "united we stand".  Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech has fallen on deaf ears. 

I don't pretend to have the answers.  I only know that I can try to work to help the young people of today understand.  It is not about the color of our skin but rather the content of our character.  What is that?  Can we look beyond how we were raised and have a meaningful dialogue? 

I can only pray that today our society is so diverse that our children and grandchildren of today, will actually live in a world where co-existing is not an ideal but rather, the state of our society.  That in fact, we will do more than co-exist -- we will love, yes genuinely love, our brothers and sisters -- regardless of the color of their skin.  We will not just follow Jesus in some sort of ethereal way but act in a Christ-like manner.  You see, if we allow our faith to guide us, then we can't go wrong.  Open your hearts to His leading and believe in the power He gave you to change this world for the better.
You see, He commanded us.  Here are His words from the Bible.

 "We love because he first loved us. ²⁰ Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen."  1 John 4:19-20

So there you have it.  God's own Truth.  You can choose to believe it or not.  But imagine, if we all put into practice what this Scripture says -- it would be a crazy, amazing world.

"What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong

http://youtu.be/A3yCcXgbKrE

My Oola Journey: From Fat to Fabulous

At long last, I have a great post this week! I think I have finally figured it out!  Only took like what?  Six months or more?  Well, better late than never!

I have been tweaking my diet plan. I am still using the MyFitnessPal app and switched to something called Shakeology in the morning.  It's a protein shake that I really like...so much, that I've begun selling it as well.  It is combined with other fitness products from the Team Beach Body line.  If you'd like to know more, email me at lisak58@hotmail.com

I have been using the Shakeology consistently for the last month and lost about 5 more pounds.  I am at a total loss of 8 lbs for 6 weeks.  Not fast but not terribly slow either.

I also have joined, or should I say, RE-joined my gym.  Yes, although the walks in the park were wonderful, it began to get cold here.  I realized I needed a new place to walk.  After weighing my options, I went back to Gold's gym.  I also signed up for one year of personal training.  This is the first time in a long time, I've been excited about me --  because this is a new transformation -- the physical one.  Yes, I have spent close to the last two years changing inwardly and now it's time for the outside to match the inside. 

Don't get me wrong -- it's not about looking good for the opposite sex.  Frankly, if someone is not interested in who I am -- fat or thin --I don't want them.  No, this journey is about looking and feeling good for me.  It's so I can be healthier, live a better life and sync my physical to the "inner" me.

The truth is, as I have dated, I have noticed that I have a young spirit.  I date men my age -- yet, they seem my father's age. Granted, I am 54 years old but I have great health, (praise God!) and take nothing for granted!  No, I do not go out and act like a fool or a twenty-something.  But there is an indefinable quality to me that makes me laugh, want to crawl on the floor with the grandkids and play and experience life with an almost child-like wonder.  I can do all this without going to bars, getting drunk and dressing with dignity. 

But,  I must confess, I "let myself go" after my last child, thinking that was a normal part of aging.  WRONG!  It can be but it doesn't have to be.  So, as I sweat and I'm quite certain, cursing at my personal trainer under my breath (God bless her!), I will remember what this part of this journey is about.  It's about becoming whole; becoming the person God intended me to be.

With that, I will close.  Know that this is not an easy journey.  I will check in every couple of weeks to let you know how things are going unless something earth-shattering happens.  In the meantime, eat healthy -- stay healthy -- keep your mind active and your heart filled with joy! 

 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. Psalms 63:5-7

My Oola Journey: From Fat to Fabulous

 

I found this today and thought...hmmm -- blog material?  I think so!  So, most folks want to know -- how am I doing?  Because if I can do it, so can anyone.  The truth is, my scale has not moved this week.  I suppose coming out of Thanksgiving that would not be terribly unusual.  It was a little hard to get back on track but I have done so with a vengeance!

As #1 states, this is a lifestyle.  It is a complete overhaul of my life.  I have found that some things work for me, while others do not.  I can live with that.  For instance, I had given up saccharin.  True, it is bad for me but is it as bad as the extra 50 pounds I am carrying?  The jury's out on that one.  But, I do like my things sweet -- and using agave, honey or sugar ad infinitum is not going to get the pounds off.  So, I have gone back to saccharin in my tea or coffee.  Soda or pop?  I am off that forever.  There truly is no benefit to it; diet or regular-- it sucks the calcium out of your bones, the acid eats the enamel off your teeth and there is a ton of sugar (or sweetener) in it.  So, I drink water.  Fair trade in my humble opinion.  At some point, I will get rid of the sweetener -- just not right now.

#2 says get organized.  True story.  I found (quite by accident) that when I grocery shop on Friday, that cooking on Saturday is not so daunting.  And so yesterday, I cooked two incredibly fabulous meals.  I have one more I am preparing in the crockpot today.  Between those three, I will have enough food for lunches and dinners throughout the week.  And I also have salad and salmon for days I grow weary of that food.   Funny, that by switching one small task such as grocery shopping to a different day, that my entire week-end goes so much more smoothly.

Number 3 says eat small.  Okay, this is all about portion control.  I am using an app called My Fitness Pal to keep track of my portions.  It has a huge database and will track not just calories but activity.  It also allows you to see your friends.  I suppose it is the Facebook of the weight loss world.  For me, I used it a couple of years ago and was very successful.  Also, throw in a divorce, and somehow, your appetite does tend to wane.  So, weight loss was inevitable.  As was the ensuing weight gain from who knows what?  Happiness, stress, hormones, medications?  It doesn't really matter.  What does matter is this app is free and also on the computer for those who don't have smartphones.

#4 says, learn to leave food on your plate.  Okay, this is a tough one for me.  Back in the day, my parents would say, think of the starving children in Africa when we would not eat everything on our plates.  Immediately, our minds would go to the National Geographic pictures that would lay out the famine in its photojournalism finest; mothers holding their dying children.  And yes, it worked.  And no, I'm not making this stuff up -- it was, our family dynamic -- guilt!  And it worked!!  I personally think it was a cruel ploy and to this day, have trouble leaving food on my plate.  At home, I prefer to weigh and measure my portions, so I don't have to throw it away.  However, since we live in the days of "supersize" me platters at restaurants, a good trick is to ask for a box before you even start eating.  Put half of it away.  Trust me, you won't even miss it.

Five -- Never feel deprived.  That is true.  Myself, I love strawberries.  And so, I tend to eat them every single day.   If I crave chocolate, I will have a fudgesicle (40 calories) or a couple of frozen dark chocolate Hershey's kisses with some peppermint tea.  That gets me over the hump.  And if I'm still craving?  It's time for bed!  Yes, being tired is one of my triggers for cravings.

#6 --make a meal out of it.  Although I agree in theory, this is not always the case for me.  Working late and coming home alone, I tend to microwave and throw on a plate.  So, would it be nice to not be starving at 7 PM and to actually dine -- even if I were alone?  Absolutely!  However, I usually throw on my pajamas and eat alone while catching up on the news.  That is a reality and something I probably need to work on. 

Number 7 says eat slowly.  That, I do.  Especially around others.  I can take an enormously long time eating if I am not on a time constraint such as lunch hour.  It is a habit I have had for nearly 20 years, and even my family has remarked on how slowly I eat.  It's supposed to help you feel full.  I'll pass along a little known secret.  When you are full, you sigh.  All people do this.  If you don't believe me, watch a baby.  It is innate in us.  So, if you find a sigh coming out of your mouth, stop.  It is your body's way of signaling that you've had enough.

#8, enjoy your food.  Yes, you should enjoy it.  Granted we eat to live, not live to eat.  However, God gave us some pretty tasty morsels -- so enjoy!  Savor every bite.  This goes back to #7 -- eating slowly.  When you eat slowly, you taste it.  When you taste it, you enjoy it.  So, relax.  Your food will still be on your plate in 20 minutes -- so, sloooooow down!

Number 9 is huge!  Move it!  I had quit my last gym because frankly, it was crazy busy and noisy!  Something that is hard for me to handle after a long day at work.  I found it overwhelming -- something to do with my sensory, I suppose.  And the only thing they kept on their TV screens was sporting events.  Not particularly motivating for me -- although occasionally, I didn't mind watching a game.  Bottom line is, I quit.  Now the weather was decent, so I picked up the slack by walking in the park.  Awesome!  Then, the cold hit!  Okay, maybe not cold by most standards, but certainly by Vegas standards.  And so, I decided since I was missing my walks, that I needed to rejoin a gym.  But a quieter, less busy one.  A couple of years ago, I had belonged to a different one that was quite cheap -- $10 per month.  Unfortunately, you get what you pay for; and many times, the equipment did not work.  So, I did a little research  and I have found a gym that works for me.  I am currently on a 7 day free pass because I wanted to make sure that I would not go due to the distance.  It is a mere 2.3 miles from my home but to someone who is the queen of excuses especially when it comes to exercise -- that would be enough to deter me.  Good news, though...I have found a shortcut from my house!  More importantly,  I really like it.  I can also get a discount because I work for the school district.  And with minimal finagling, am getting the New Year's special that hasn't started yet. And so, I have found my new "residence" -- it has individual TV's (a definite plus) and 24/7 access via a key -- also a plus!  I had been missing my walks for a couple of weeks because frankly, I slept better and my mood was improved.  So yesterday, I took a 30 minute walk -- burned a couple of hundred calories -- AND got to watch some cable TV; something that is a luxury since I don't have it at home.  So, if you are gym shopping, keep your priorities in alignment.  It will help you find the perfect place!

Lastly, get enough sleep.  For me, that is 8-9 hours a night.  It means, going to bed at a ridiculously early hour during the week.  It is hard for me to wind down, and so exercise (#9) is imperative.  When you are tired, you tend to have a "whatever" attitude.  Losing weight does not just happen or "whatever"-- at least, not in my world.  It takes very deliberate and necessary steps.

The biggest takeaway for me from this list is that you need to prioritize.  After all, that's what lists are about -- prioritizing.  What's important?  For me, it's putting myself first.  Organization is key, as is being focused.  Lastly, do what works for you.  Everyone has things they can and cannot live with.  This is a lifestyle but most importantly, it is YOUR lifestyle.   Use the suggestions as guidelines but then run with it; like anything else in life -- it is a journey.  And as with anything else, it's not about the destination --but rather, the journey itself. 

Advent 2014: Hope

 

And so, Sunday began Advent -- Hope.  Danny Gokey sings a song called "Hope in Front of Me".  What hope is in front of you?  Do you see it?   Perhaps we need to talk about hope.  Our hope.

Sometimes the darkness is so great, that we feel like we're walking blindly.  The truth is, we're not.  We're walking into a light -- God's light.  Have you ever had a light shone right in your eyes?  It's blinding.  That's sort of how it is with God.  You are walking into the light.  It feels like you're blind but in actuality, you're coming out of the dark into something greater.

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.  Isaiah 42:16

Mary did that.  When the angel Gabriel came to her, he told her, "“Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. ³¹ You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. ³² He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, ³³ and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”   Luke 1:30-33.  Imagine -- being a young girl -- betrothed-- in a time where you could be stoned for having sexual relations outside of marriage.  And yet, here she was -- pregnant with the Christ child.  Was she scared?  God found favor with her -- He had singled her out.  We too can be in God's presence.  He is our Hope. 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead...1Peter1:3

What about the three wise men?  They came bearing gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.  The gold was an acknowledgement that this was a king -- as all kings had gold.  The frankincense was a type of incense used for sacrifice.  This acknowledged not only Christ as a priest but also, that he was to be the ultimate sacrifice.  And the myrrh?  That was used to relieve pain but also for burial.  All of this foreshadowed the purpose of Jesus.  He was born solely for the purpose of living out his life so that we could have hope.

In the Old Testament, it speaks of hope.  There are 353 prophecies which Christ fulfilled.  Yet, there are still people who question whether or not He is the One?   I'm pretty sure that not many people, living or dead, can claim to have fulfilled any prophecy, let alone over 300! 

Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you
are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.  Psalm 25:4-5   

I guess the bottom line is, where do you turn when things seem hopeless?  Do you go down the same path again and again?  If you have travelled that same road many times, it has most assuredly led to the same end.  So, why travel it at all?  I know that when I hit rock bottom, the only way I had was up.   There are days when yes, things do indeed seem hopeless to me.  I could probably wallow for days on end.  Months!  Yet, I don't go down that path.  It does not serve any purpose other than to discourage me.  Our God is one of Hope.  But we have to have faith -- faith that He is in control.  Faith that He is the One, True God.  Faith in His ability to make things right.  Do you have that kind of faith?  Can you possibly be hopeful, just long enough to reach out and let another pull you out of the pit?

As we celebrate Advent, take a moment and consider this.  Without Christ, what is our Hope?  What does hope mean to you?  Is it life, here as we know it?  Or is it the promise of something much greater?

I like to think that hope is something greater than us.  Something outside of us.  Hope is never-ending.  Our hope is in God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  He is the Alpha and Omega.  Never-changing and always there.  That's where I want to place my hope -- in the One greater than I. What about you?  Are you hoping for a change?  Are you hoping for love?  Are you placing your hope in people?  If you have, has it served you well?   I doubt it has -- or you wouldn't be reading this.   Place your hope in the one that matters -- God.  He is not just Hope but Love Peace and Joy.  He is the Christ.  In that, I have my hope.

"Hope in Front of Me" by Danny Gokey

http://youtu.be/9KIhYZQ_ovw

Christmas Newsletter 2015

 

 

Dear Friends,

Well, here it is the holiday season again.  Seems like it came a little bit earlier this year.  I suppose it did -- what with Black Friday now being moved up to Thanksgiving.  We barely got past Halloween and the Christmas trees were up.  Truthfully, I kind of like it.  Makes the season that much longer.  And yes, Christmas is one of my favorite holidays.

This past year has not been without its ups and downs.  Mostly ups; definitely an improvement over last year!  My job description at work has changed -- a little.  I am now a self-contained SLD teacher.  Although that was my title last year, it really is what I do this year.  I work with children with specific learning disabilities and teach English, U.S. History, Government, Math Applications, Study Skills, Prevocations and Social Skills.  Try saying it let alone, planning for it! But, I love my job and hardly a day passes that I don't thank God for allowing me to do what I do.  It is a humbling experience to watch these young men and women not only learn how to adapt, but thrive with their disabilities.   I pray each and every day for my students on the way to work.  Of course, there are days that are more difficult than others but for the most part, I can't complain.  Some days, my heart swells with pride as I watch the enormous strides these young adults make, both in and out of the classroom. I really love working with them!  Not sure they feel the same way but I can say this -- they do, for the most part, behave in my classroom.  And, all of my firsts period students show up nearly everyday unless they are really sick (and sometimes, even when they are!)  That, my friends, is the true test of kids liking your class!

 I also still tutor two evenings a week for children who are unable to be in the foster care system.  I'm not sure of their entire situation, other than they live on a campus outside of the Las Vegas area.  It is a beautiful location and I love the drive up there.  Some of the students have changed from last year; a few have left.  Although I hate to see them go, it is nice knowing that they are finally able to have a more stable home life.  The ones we work with are quite bright, and I enjoy getting to work with them as well.  Truly, it's not just a paycheck but an honor.  I know that sounds kitschy and somewhat insincere, but it's the truth.

But enough of my work life.  I'm sure you're itching to hear about my personal life; and what a doozy it has been!   This year, I decided it was time to jump in and start dating.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.  In Las Vegas, it is impossible for me to meet anyone, and so I went the dating website route.  The truth is, I don't think the websites are for me.  I've known a few people who have met their spouses online.  However, as my life continues, I find that I am looking for more of a friend than a boyfriend.  Go figure.  Reverting back to my role in high school -- always the friend, never the girlfriend?!  Seriously, remarriage is not even on my radar at this point in time.  I am finding that with age, I have much I want to do and unfortunately, it doesn't seem I have years and years with which to do it.  I am no longer that young girl with dreams; rather, I feel like it's a "now or never" proposition.  Besides, I've only met one guy online who's a "keeper".  He's a great friend and makes me laugh -- a LOT!  I have a feeling we will be there through thick and thin.  Just not for better or worse! 

I have considered moving out of the Las Vegas area but the truth is, I think I will be here forever or until retirement; whichever comes first.  I really do not wish to start over again.   That would mean becoming a probationary teacher -- "Got en himmel!"  (translated from German -- God in heaven!) Yeah, I don't see that happening.  As much as I miss the grandbabies, that will have to come at a later time -- a MUCH later time!

If you haven't been reading my blog (yes, a shameless plug!), I attended an amazing seminar a few weeks ago for Oola.  You know, the lifestyle I ascribe to?  Yes, I finally got a chance to meet the OolaSeeker and OolaGuru and Company.   I also made some great friends!   It was an amazing seminar and helped me to plan my life for the next year.  I set many goals.  Sometimes my head spins at the thought of them -- but then, I realize, I have a year with which to meet them and I just have to  take each day as it comes.

As for my book...ah yes, I completed it over Christmas break last year!  My biggest hurdle is paying off the publisher in order to get it on the shelves.  That is huge -- but I know, not impossible.  I just need to stay focused...Oola at its finest!  Of course, there is more to this plan than just stocking bookshelves.  Stay tuned to find out what happens next!  (Don't you love it?  I'm sort of like the "Bold and Beautiful", "Search for Tomorrow" and "Survivor" all rolled into one!) 

As you can see, it has once again been a crazy, amazing year.  Life is better than I ever imagined, and I truly love the journey I'm on.  Of course, I have many friends that help me through the day-to-day and for you, a special "thank you".  Some are near while others are far; but all I hold in my heart.  As always, God is first and foremost.  And so as I close, I pray that life holds many special memories for you and that you have a year like no other. As it says in Numbers 6:24-26, may the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up His countenance upon you ...and give you peace.

Have a blessed holiday season and beyond!
Lisa

My gift to you:

"Christmas Through Your Eyes" by Gloria Estefan
http://youtu.be/GJVY0MX8ihI