Lectio Divina

Yesterday we did something interesting in church -- it is called Lectio Divina or a sacred reading.  It is something that can and probably should be practiced by us more often as we do our daily Scripture reading.  I'm going to use the reference guide provided by our pastor in order to teach you how to do it.  I found it an incredible way to enhance the reading of Scripture.  It can be used for a passage or verse.

First, is the meditation.  You sit with your hands comfortably in your lap and breathe.  Breathe in slowly and exhale.  You are focusing on clearing your mind.  Be present to your breath.   Listen to the beating of your heart.  Rest and be still.  Pray for God's presence.

You are going to respond to the passage using your head, heart and hands.  Read the passage out loud.  Then think about it (head) for 1-2 minutes.  What is happening?  What are the facts?  Write down your thoughts.

Next, read the passage out loud a second time.  Think about it silently for 2-3 minutes.  You are now going to use your heart to discern what God is telling you. What is the deeper meaning of the passage?  What is God telling me?  Write down your thoughts.

Lastly, read the passage out loud for a third time.  Think about it for 2-3 minutes.  We are now moving to the hands portion.  How does God's message relate to my life?  What does God want me to do?  hat am I going to do about his message?  Write down your thoughts.

Lastly, end in prayer.

If you are doing this with a spouse or significant other, you can share your thoughts as you go through the process.

This is just one way to get more out of Scripture reading.  I invite you to try it.  It is not difficult and I found it a great way to hear what God is saying to me through His word.

Is it Ever Too Late?

Of late, I am feeling like time is getting away from me.  Already three years have passed since my divorce and nine years, since my mother passed away.  I remember sitting at her hospital bedside and hearing a voice telling me to go into ministry.  But what IS the ministry?  I never got an answer.

I hear a voice today saying, "your testimony...you have to share your testimony."  What is so special about MY testimony?  Clearly, it must mean something to some people.  I have it written down but it is long.  I have had a life like many and yet, like no others.  I have been a part of the world of Judaism, Christianity and Islam.  I have gone through trials like many.  I have questioned my faith a thousand times.  What is it God wants me to share?

I have written many blogs and truly, the readership has surpassed my expectations.  Clearly God's hand has been on it.  He has found a way for it to circulate throughout the world.  Him.  Not me.

And so today, I heard a voice say, "Be still."  I am, to rest.  To listen to His words.  I have read the Bible, listened to worship music and read a devotional for the day.  I have also taken to working through a workbook to determine whether or not it is ordained ministry he wants me to go into; the pieces still are not quite fitting together but I feel like I am close.  Very close.

I am 56 years old.  How much time does it take to discern where I am to minister?  It has been YEARS.  Daily prayer.  I see people around me getting sick while others die.  They are not much older than me.  How much time does this take?  God?  I need an answer!  I don't want to fail YOU!

So for those out there that read this blog, please lift your prayers to Him.  What does HE want for my life?  How can I serve HIM?  Yes, this blog is a little on the selfish side -- okay, a lot.  But at the same time, I watch the clock ticking.  Will I live to 100?  75?  60?  Only He knows.  But I do know this.  I will work to fulfill His life's calling;  I accept.  I am here.  I am ready.

Growing in Faith

I must confess, my faith walk of late is lame. (Yes, pun intended!)  I am not putting into it what I should.  God should be my priority -- not my family, friends, writing or other distractions.  And yet, somehow, He has fallen through the cracks.

Today, my daughter sent me a detailed plan of how to get back on track.  I must confess, she is a great resource to me.  She knows that all Christians struggle and in fact, she too struggled until she got on this plan.  I challenge you, to renew your commitment and faith walk with me by following these steps -- Word, Worship and Prayer.

1.  Word -- Read the Bible regularly.  Many phone apps have a reading plan that you can choose from; you can do chronological, Bible in a year, etc.  Most Bible apps are free.  She also said the NLT translation is the one she enjoys.  I have always used NSV but may change it up.  Next, read from a daily devotional.  I have several devotionals here but she highly recommended Jesus Calling.  I had a credit on my Nook, so I have downloaded it to my phone.  She also recommends journalling -- write down anything that sticks out from the reading or anything that you may feel God is speaking to you about.  When she journals, she formats by SOS -- Say, Obey and Share.  What does the scripture say?  How do I obey?  And what/how/with/whom do I share?  This helps her focus on the day ahead.

2.  Worship -- she recommends (and I do to) listening to music and focusing on God, responding to Him and then just spend time talking to Him by declaring who He is, His promises for us, etc.  She listens to music while she reads the Bible.  I personally cannot multi-task, so I would have to make this a separate step.

3.  Prayer -- she keeps an ongoing list of people and things she is praying for, as well as specific prayer requests.  I also do this, although even my prayers of late have been ridiculously short and sweet.

This is very close to how I used to focus my walk with Jesus.  I have never journaled in the past except when taking notes during a Bible study, so I am definitely going to shake it up a bit.  She does her study when her babies are napping, whereas, I used to do mine before bed.  However, I now need to change up my time of day because once my melatonin kicks in, sleep is imminent.

I hope this has helped those of you, who like me, may have gotten out of the habit of spending time with God.  As I read the things my daughter sent me, I am so very proud of the young woman she has become; faith-filled and faithful.  God has truly blessed me.  Now it's time for me to thank him for all He has given me; including my incredible daughter, friend and sister-in-Christ.

For My Mom

This is an "oldie" I wrote in 2007.   My mom asked me to write a blog about her just a few months before she passed away.  As I re-read it, it reminded me of  many things I had forgotten.  I hope you will enjoy reading it.  You will get a sense of who my mom was and how unique she really was...I miss her everyday!

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My mom asked me to write a blog about her today. Currently, she is in the hospital where she is receiving treatment for pneumonia, COPD, and lung cancer. They say laughter is the best medicine, and all I can say is that she is not only doing her best to live up to that saying, but she also has kept me and the hospital staff in stitches (no pun intended) for most of her hospital stay. They say "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I hope they are right. She is a most unique mother, and this is an unusual request -- not wanting to disappoint her, I have decided to oblige. 

My mom is not your usual mother. She seldom baked, and certainly, never cookies. She could change out the toilet works, spray for bugs like a professional, clean gutters, and iron shirts on an old-fashioned mangle. And she could entertain like no other. Move over Martha Stewart, you've met your match! My parents had literally hundreds of friends and they all took turns having parties. I don't think there was a week-end in my life growing up that they weren't at someone's house or someone was over at our house. My mother could throw together a pile of crap, call it D'Knedrick (named after one of my father's patients), and have people rave over it. 

More endearing than my mother's ability to entertain is what I refer to as her "-isms". There isn't a day that goes by when someone isn't full of "piss and vinegar", or she's so irritated she's saying, "oh bull's balls"! A few years ago, I learned that she is unable to eat a piece of cake unless it is lying correctly on the plate. Now what the hell is that? According to her, a piece of cake must be lying on its right side -- not left. I'm not sure why you can't just turn the plate around but according to her, it doesn't work. In fact, she called today and said, "you know, with all the shit I'm going through, I'm lying here thinking that my cake is lying on the wrong side on the plate." You gotta love that!

Her favorite show is The Wheel of Fortune and God help anyone who interrupts her watching it, including the President of the United States when he has a State of the Union address. She loves to read the National Enquirer, and no, the Star Magazine won't do. Something about their new format. I guess there's something about newsprint on her hands that makes it feel like a "real" newspaper. Oh, and let's not forget the Kleenex she has to have in her hand and the glass of water that she has on her nightstand when she goes to sleep at night -- a trait that has been handed down for generations, according to her. I can attest to that -- I do it and so do my kids.

The other day, she looked at her internist and declared, "You look like Richard Burton waiting for Elizabeth Taylor." I'm not sure what that meant but he was certainly flattered. An aide found a dime on her bedside table and pointed it out to my mom. Her response at 5 am? "Maybe I turned a trick in the night and forgot!" She has her oncologist blowing kisses at her as he leaves the room. She and the respiratory therapist share stories about Judge Judy (another of her favorite shows). Each and every person in that hospital will have a story about her to tell, I'm sure. She said to me yesterday, "Boy, I bet they think I'm a salty old bitch!" I doubt that...but I bet they will miss her when she goes home and chuckle a little as they pass by room 6713.

Apparently, There IS More!

So here it is -- barely 24 hours since I have returned from vacation and feeling terrible.  Yes, I know I swore I was closing down this blog.  I thought I'd said all I have to say...and yet, here is another situation that I am trying to deal with; and if I'm trying to deal with it, well, there is someone else who probably is too.

I have, in fact, gone to a place I had hoped I could never be pushed into .... the ex-wife place.  You know -- that side where the bitter ex posts something public on social media against the other.  I couldn't help myself -- really, I tried.  But, it has been three years of continued  hell, manipulation and control.  I'm divorced, yet it continues.  I am, at the end of my rope!

So, what happens when Christians fall into that dark abyss?  How do you pull yourself out?  And trust me, it is a dark and ugly place.  I wish I had answers.  I only know that right now, I see injustice upon injustice heaped upon my head and I am powerless to stop it.  Do I just say, "Ok God -- it's all yours!" and hope for the best?  How do I take an unwilling person who flaunts, and I mean, FLAUNTS his willful disobedience in my face nearly daily to court when I have absolutely no money or assets?  And for those wondering, legal aid won't help because I "earn" too much.  I don't get it.  I wish I did...and I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.  Today, I see only darkness.

The quote I posted above may explain it.  I know God has plans for me.  Plans and purpose for ministry.  It is at a time like this that the Enemy will work against us.  He will pull out no stops to make us feel disappointed, sad, depressed, lonely -- you name it.  Oh, life is starting to look just a tad brighter?  Let me stop you in your tracks with this...an unexpected bill you can't pay.  Oh, you just took a lovely vacation?  Let me turn the heat up in Las Vegas to 120 degrees.  That should take ALL joy out of your life and put the vacation memory into the dust.  You see where I'm going with this.

And so today, I did probably one of the most un-Christianlike things I have done post-divorce.  I actually put something on Instagram about my ex -- oh and if that wasn't enough?  Facebook and Twitter.  There!  Take that!  But the problem is this...I can hurt him with words but I also hurt my children.  I cannot take him down legally and so I resorted to the only thing I know how to do...write.  Not cool.  Not Christlike.  Not good.

So, at the end of the day, for what it's worth, I apologize not just to him and my kids but to my Creator for doing something so incredibly childish and stupid.  Yeah, it made me feel good for maybe 5 minutes and then, I started to feel funny...bad...worse than I do now.  So I took down the posts.

At the end of the day, even people with goodness in their hearts can be taken to a bad place.  It's not fun to be the one who is pushed to that limit.  However, it is human.  It is why, Christ died on the cross for us.  So, I do ask for God publicly for forgiveness.  And I will pray an extra prayer tonight for the ex that continues to wear me down.  I know in the end, God will take care of this situation as He sees fit.  I just have to give it to Him.

Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin aginst you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Luke 6:27
But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you

1 Peter 5:8
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

Joshua 10:25
Joshua said to them, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous. This is what the LORD will do to all the enemies you are going to fight.”

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Endings

It occurs to me that this blog is coming to a natural end.  I hope it has helped people...I know in many ways, it helped with my healing.

As much as I have wanted to become a writer and speaker, I believe that is no longer in the cards for me or if it is, then it's got to be God's timing, not mine.  Rather, I am going to focus the remainder of my life on becoming the best teacher I can be and on the new adventures that I don't even know about that are coming my way.

Advice for my readers:  Tomorrow is not a given.  Live today as if it were your last because you never know...it might be!  Love others as you love yourself...because you never know the journey they have walked.  If you don't love yourself, then learn to.  You are perfect!  God is good and He is always with you -- through the good and the bad.

All things are glorified through Him.  In the past three years, this blog has accumulated over 54,000 readers; far more than I could ever imagine  Throughout this journey I have met many new people -- some friends, others, not.  At the end of the day, I have to live with myself.  I choose to live an authentic life which means honesty and integrity.  I am far from perfect but I do the best that I can.  I have faith and try to lead by example rather than preaching.  When you love someone, love with all you have and tell them how you feel!  You may not get another chance.

Lastly...be grateful and have faith.  (Thank you Oola Guys for that!)    God has a plan for your life.  Go out.  Live.  Serve others.  Be happy!  Have peace and joy and if you get a chance...give back.  That's my advice.  God bless and may you have peace in Him.

Lisa