Hope for God’s Children

Today, God laid on my heart that I need to write about the children I work with—ones I tutor who are in a therapeutic group home.  The children that all, but a small group of caregivers, have forgotten about; the ones who are part of "the system."

I was thinking about the children I’ve met over the years and their families -- probably because it is the holiday season.  However, these children are different.  They are unable to be placed in the foster care system for a variety of reasons.  Either they’ve been in a foster home and are unable to be cared for due to behavioral issues, have been abused in some way, are a step away from juvenile detention or their parents are in jail. Yet, these are children just want a loving home, a warm bed, enough food to fill their stomachs and friends; yes, “real” friendships. 

When I was hired, I was told that they were looking for long-term tutors, primarily because these children need stability.  As a special education teacher, I totally understand that; children with special needs have to have a constant in their lives.  Since September, two tutors have already come and gone.  I can’t tell you, how much my heart hurts.  These children have already been through a lot; yet even those who were hired to support them, cannot see past their own needs.  Stability is vital for these children to thrive and do well.  They have had enough people come through their lives.  I know that they are not always the most lovable children; they don’t always bond, they may be sassy, or even downright disrespectful.  However, I “get it.”  Right now, the best they can hope for is they keep their noses clean enough so they don’t go to “juvey” (their nickname for juvenile detention).

 As we were approaching Thanksgiving, one little girl was particularly disrespectful to me.  In fact, they all were.  However, I noticed that this one child in particular, who has grown close to me over the months, was looking at pictures of her family on the Internet.  I asked her about them.  She was somewhat defensive but did answer my questions.  She stated how beautiful her sister was; what she didn’t know is how beautiful I think she is even though I told her.  Her response?  She laughed it off.  I asked her if she was going to visit her family over the holiday.  The answer; a resounding “no.”  You see, these small acts of defiance had very little to do with me.  In fact, I’m certain they had everything to do with the approaching holiday and where she would spend it and with whom.  We likewise have to make decisions about where we will spend the holidays and with whom, but we have a choice.  These children don’t.  

All of these children are flunking several classes.  However, I attribute it to the consistency and follow-up given by their house parents, rather than a testament to their knowledge.   And yes, I am not unaware of the amount of commitment it takes to be a house parent.  However, these children are definitely capable of learning concepts. 
 

Another problem?  They want to be accepted, but are not.  They are referred to as the "(fill in the name of care center) gang."  I cannot reveal the center’s name but know that they are called that by peers and teachers alike.  They are ostracized.  How would it feel to wake up every day and go to school where you know you are not particularly cared for, that you know you have no family to come home to and having friends come over is not an option.  It's tough, I'm sure.
 

I have tried for two months to get a youth group or Young Life group started up there.  I have spoken to some key people but get no response.  Are they really that busy or do they not care?  I’m not sure.  However, I feel God telling me that the children up there need some hope.   Hope that there is a God.  Hope that they are indeed beautiful – if not from the world’s view, then certainly in God’s view. 
 

One day, a little girl asked me if I was getting paid to go up there.  I told her, “yes.”  She asked me if I would come up there and work, even if I wasn’t paid.  I told her the truth.  “Probably, but not as many days as I do now – probably just one day a week.”  You see, if I had just said “Yes”, it would not have been an authentic response and there would be no trust.  One thing I definitely understand are trust issues.
 

The Christmas season is upon us.  The center looks very beautiful, with its holiday wreaths and trees.  It is like the island of misfit toys, as portrayed in the Christmas show, "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer."  These children are the unwanted and discarded toys; those that are less than perfect.   I will probably be lambasted over the next few weeks with words.  But they are only words.  These, on the other hand, are God’s children.  

So, where do I go from here?  How can I help these children?  Much as I’d love to, I can’t take them all home with me.  I have been blessed to care for them for a short while; to tend to their educational needs.   I don’t know if I will have an impact – only God knows for sure.  However, I do know that in the end, the best I can hope for is that they feel God’s love being channeled through me.   Perhaps that is how He will instill the hope they so desperately need. 

"...But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18: 15-17
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

God’s Providence: What it Means for Us

Last week, I began this blog.  I wrote, “God is working overtime in me today.  The Holy Spirit is guiding my thoughts as I sit down and write.  God’s providence is something I’ve had on my heart for several days.”  It was something that was mentioned in passing during our Bible study but not enough to really delve into the subject matter.   Many times we speak of God’s providence, but what does that mean for mankind?  

 

I chatted briefly with my pastor about it later that week.  My curiosity was peaked.  We talked about whether the manner in which Christ died was part of God’s providence.  Does it matter the way in which Christ died?  Would it have been any less of a sacrifice if He had died in some other way?  Certainly, there are people who go through much greater horrors in their lives and yet, Christ still remains the ultimate sacrifice; our Redeemer and Savior.

 My pastor did a phenomenal sermon on it last Sunday – you know the kind that gives you chills and you are taking notes non-stop?  I’m going to give you my take away.  I’m certainly not as profound as he but hopefully, you will have a better grasp of what God’s providence means and how it affects our lives. 

 

First, I’m going to help us define it, for providence can be a sort of ethereal type of word that you kind of know what it means but aren’t exactly sure.  Thank you, www.dictionary.com for further clarification.   I’m only using the definitions I feel are relevant to this post. 

·         The foreseeing care and guidance of God or nature over the creatures of the earth.

·         God, especially when conceived as omnisciently directing the universe and the affairs of humankind with wise benevolence.

·         A manifestation of divine care or direction.

Look at the words in this definition closely; care, guidance, directing mankind and wise benevolence.  Wow!  What a loving God we have that personally cares for ALL of His creation.  But what does this mean for us in the day-to-day? 

First of all, the providence of God refers to God’s hand in our lives.  He provides for us in all times and seasons of life; this is His providential care.  God works with us in a completely whole way; he doesn’t do things halfway.    Ultimately, if we are living in God’s will, our choices become His; this is what reconciles us to God.  In essence, it keeps us in line with the plans and purpose God has already set into motion for our lives.   We are not here serendipitously.  We are here to serve God and glorify Him.  How we do that is up to Him.  He provides us with the means; it then becomes our job to fulfill it.

But here’s the caveat; we cannot take control of our lives or else we will never experience God’s providence in our life.    In other words, let God be in control.  Yes, we have free will, but what are we going to do with it?  Go out and do whatever we choose without so much as a nod in His direction?  A big part of being in God’s will is the ability to discern what the Holy Spirit is telling us.  In Romans 12:2, Paul writes “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  That, my friends, is discernment.  We need to read His Word, pray, and consult with other Christians if we are still unable to discern His will. 

When praying, know that God not only answers prayers but He does so according to His plan and purpose for your life.  So, as you get on your knees and bow your heads, listen for His answer; yes, not yet or no.  “Yes” is yes; no explanation needed.  If He says “Not yet,” it means be patient; hard for us humans.  Yet, we need to trust Him and have faith.  Lastly, He may say “No.”  Why would God say “No?”  He’s telling us, “I’ve got something better for you.” 

So, walk in God’s path.  Allow Him to be in control.  Let His loving hands provide the providential care we so longingly seek.  He is greater than we can imagine and so are His plans for our lives.

My Oola Journey: Faith

 

 I get asked about Oola a lot.   Being a Christian, people assume that it cannot be compatible with the tenets of my faith.    It does have the sort of name that makes one wonder?  Yet, it is all about being able to balance seven areas in your life and when they are in balance – life doesn't get much more AWESOME than that!  These areas are faith, family, field, finance, fitness, friends and fun. Most people assume they are doing that; a misconception, in my opinion.  First, in order to set out a life plan, which is a priority in Oola, one needs to actually have a plan.  This involves setting goals and working to attain those goals.  This does not mean that one cannot have belief in God or that we are in control of our own lives.  God is not random and serendipitous.  He has a plan and purpose for our life.  Remember, Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”   We do, however, have free will.  We also need to make sure that our will is in tune with God’s.  How does this happen with Oola?

With Oola, one has one area of their life which dominates over all other areas; a hub, as in what would find in the center of a wheel.  A hub is key to balance.  My hub is faith.  I cannot always control the circumstances in my life, yet I can control how I react to my circumstances.  I need to be grateful for all circumstances that God places me in, as they help me to grow and mature as a Christian.  “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.  Likewise, in Oola, one rejoices in the journey, because you continue to grow and not be static.  I dare say, if I was the same at 53 years old as I was at 33, I’d be a pretty boring and never developed any wisdom beyond what I learned by the age of 33; which wasn’t much.

I have gone through a pretty rough year.  Divorcing after 31 years is no small feat.  Even more difficult is learning how to be thankful in the circumstances I found myself in.  I was bankrupted not only financially but emotionally.  Yet, I still believed God was in the midst.  Oola did not take away from that fact.  All of us on our Oola journey are continually trying to find our place in this world; what can we do to make it better?  How can we give unselfishly instead of take?  What is our purpose?  What does God want for our lives? 

I spend a lot of time with God.  I read the Bible, pray, and listen to music that I believe moves me closer to Him.  The Holy Spirit directs my path.  Jesus is my Savior.   God is the center of my universe.  He is my hub.  And if Oola takes me to a place of greater peace and closer to God, then I choose to embrace it.  I encourage you to look at your own life and see if you are living the Oola life.  Where will you be fifteen years from now?  My plans are drawn up; are yours?

Happy Thanksgiving

Today it’s raining in the Las Vegas desert.  It’s been raining for the past three days.  It is a sign that the season is changing; we are coming into colder weather.  More importantly, it is a reminder that the holidays are just around the corner.

November is traditionally a time of anticipation as we all prepare for Thanksgiving, Advent and Christmas.  However, today I wanted to take a moment and reflect on the last year of my life.   It has been a season of changes; a journey of sorts.

Last Thanksgiving, the entire family got together at my daughter’s house.  It was incredibly joyful on many levels.  It was also painful for I had a secret that no one knew – my marriage was over.  It is hard to be joyful in such circumstances, yet God tells us to rejoice.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18  “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”   

I enjoyed those few days together but it was also bittersweet.  It had been the first time we had been together in four years and I knew in my heart, it would be our last family gathering for a good long while.  I could not tell anyone as I did not want to spoil the happiness, laughter and love that was felt in my daughter’s house over those four days.

Last year, our oldest daughter was pregnant, our youngest daughter had recently had a miscarriage, our oldest son was “finding himself” and our youngest son was a senior in high school.    We had two grandchildren, ages 2 and 4 who bring new meaning to the word mischievous, and can make me laugh on my darkest days! 

This year, we have not one, but two new grandchildren we welcomed into the family.  Our youngest daughter conceived and carried her baby to full-term.  Two beautiful blessings – each a stark contrast to the other; one blonde and blue-eyed and the other dark hair and brown eyes.  Both are incredibly joyful babies and bring a smile to my heart.  Oh and we have another grandchild on the way.  Yes, our oldest daughter is expecting baby #4; another Godsend.

Our oldest son is now working and has learned what it means to be responsible.  He still lives at home but contributes financially and enjoys his work and “playtime” at the martial arts studio.  Our youngest son has since marched with the U.S. Army All-American band, travelled with Drum Corps International and is in college, studying music. 

As for me, I divorced my husband.  I have a new life.  I am stronger than I ever imagined.  I look at my life as one big journey; a faith journey.    I have begun writing, which is something I have always dreamed of doing.  It is cathartic and allows me to process my life experiences. 

This journey has had its highs and lows.  I have been on my knees more times than I care to count.  And yet, God has brought me through each and every time with the help of people I call my “angels.”  These are the folks who listen to me, care for me and have pulled me out of the depths of despair.  They have gently and lovingly placed me on solid ground when I felt my knees begin to buckle or I trip over my own missteps.  Most importantly, I know God placed each one there for His plan and purpose. 

I am so grateful for this past year.  I miss being together as a family and yet, as we begin a season of new traditions I know that this is not an ending but rather, a new beginning.  We are starting our own traditions built on a foundation of the love God intended for each and every one of us.

Go ahead – reflect on your year.  Good, bad, or otherwise, thank God for His hand in your life; for He has made it so. 

 

Breaking God's Heart

“Jesus wept” John 11:25 is the shortest verse in the Bible.  Yet it is filled with implications.  It allows us to not only see Jesus’ humanness, but how He our God, also has feelings.  You see, our God does grieve.  But are we, mere humans, capable of breaking His heart? 

 

I am helping teach a tenth grade English class.  We are getting ready to read the book “Night” by Elie Wiesel.  It is the story of the Holocaust from a survivor’s point of view.  I decided to pre-read the book primarily since my dad’s family were Holocaust survivors.  I had heard his stories over the years.  Yet, having heard them so many times, had become somewhat de-sensitized to the horror of it all.  And yet, I knew that if I read it, all my feelings toward it would come back; the shock, the horror, reliving the past as I had heard it told.

I started the book with much trepidation.  I knew that it would stir an avalanche of feelings in me.  Furthermore, my father passed away over twenty years ago.   I knew I would have no way to discuss and process what I read.  However, I needed to read the book; not just for classroom knowledge but for self-knowledge.  So last week, I began the book.

Within the first twenty-five pages, my stomach was lurching.  What I was reading was incomprehensible.  Given the “right” set of circumstances, I saw where people could turn from helping one another to going into complete survival mode and not reaching out to anyone – ignoring the cries of relatives in order to save oneself.  They went from believing in God to questioning whether or not there was a God.  It sickened me, but more importantly it made me incredibly sad.  In order to protect myself, I began to draw back from the book and read it with a more universal view.  How did God view this madness known as the Holocaust?  Could it be that He could watch and be as grief-filled and full of compassion as myself?

            In the Bible, grieving is defined as having great mental anguish.  God grieves in many places in the Bible.  The Bible also tells us that God has compassion.   Passion comes from the Latin root compassio.  It is an ecclesiastical loan-translation of Greek sympatheia which comes from syn- "together" and pathos "feeling".  In other words, to have compassion means to suffer with someone.  So, let’s look at how God has grieved and shown compassion in the Bible. 

In Matthew 26: 36-45 it says, “Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” ³⁷ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. ³⁸ Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

³⁹ Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

⁴⁰ Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. ⁴¹ “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

⁴² He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

⁴³ When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. ⁴⁴ So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

⁴⁵ Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners.

Jesus agonized over His fate.  He asked his disciples to remain awake with him; this shows his human side, fraught with emotions.  After all, He was not just God incarnate – He was a human as well.  Even when he was alone with His Father, He prayed to Him.  He not only asked God to take away what He knew was going to happen but He begged Him.  Like us at times, His spirit was broken; He was weak.  However, He ultimately surrendered to His Father’s will.  Why?  "For God so loved the world..." John 3:16 

In Matthew 9:35, it talks about Jesus healing the multitudes.  Verse 36 says, “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them …” Yes, he could feel their suffering.

Compassion is interesting.  It is something that if you have too little of, it is not good.  Conversely, if you have too much, it can also be a bad thing.  Ever hear the expression, too much of a good thing?  That’s compassion.  It takes you to a place where you can literally feel the suffering of another in your very soul.  I know this because one of my greatest gifts is compassion.  It is also my Achilles heel.  I literally can feel the pain of another.  Compassion can be so overwhelming that you can actually go to a place of grief because you suffer with the other person.  In my experience, grief and compassion are intertwined.

In Genesis Chapter 6, God is grieved when he sees how wicked mankind has become on earth.  Genesis 6:6 says, "the Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain."  Imagine, creating so much anguish in our very own Creator that his heart feels pain.  The One who made us, actually regretted having created us. 

So, how do you suppose God felt when he looked down and saw mankind removing the humanness in others?  Taking men, women and children to a place that knew no limits to degradation and cruelty.  And for what?  Because of their religious beliefs?  The color of their eyes?  Whether or not they survived depended on their strength or lack thereof?  I know that just reading about it made me cry.  I was horrified; even, sick to my stomach.  How did our Creator feel?  After all, mankind is His creation.  He is perfect, and yet, we fall so far from His grace and mercy.

The book took me to many places I didn’t wish to go.  It explained my family history for me.  My father’s family never made it out of Nazi Germany.  Interestingly enough, it was through a single act of compassion that he did.

He told me a story of how he was staying at someone’s house.  One night, the SS was going door to door, looking for Jews.  When the SS came to the house where he was staying, it turned out that the soldier was an old school friend of my father’s.   Imagine…a childhood friend with whom you played now coming to round you up to take you to a concentration camp.  Well, as it turns out, his friend had compassion.  You see, rather than put him on a cattle car and hauling him to a concentration camp, he told my dad to get out; that things were getting very bad.  Despite his politics or belief system or for whatever reason he joined the Nazi regime, for a nanosecond, he remembered that this was his old friend.  And he told him – it’s bad.  The soldier left and never reported him.  My father left his home country and came to the U.S.  He sent for his mother at a later time.  He had several failed attempts at getting her out but eventually, succeeded. 

However, he lost the rest of his family; his father, sister, brother-in-law and a young niece.  I never really understood how his sister died until I read the book “Night”.   She was shot during the liberation for not keeping up.  I could never understand that; how does one who is liberated get shot?  By whom?  The Allies?   After reading the book, I realized the liberation was actually the Nazis moving prisoners from camp to camp.  In essence, she was shot and killed by an SS soldier for tripping and falling.

I think everyone knows that I am a Christian.  My father never had a problem with my converting to Christianity, which I did at the age of fourteen.  In fact, he asked the pastor of my church to protect me if the Nazi regime ever came to power again.  At the time, my young mind couldn't imagine why he would ask such a question; now I know.

But this story doesn’t end there.  As I think back on that night that the SS soldier came to the house, I wonder; what prompted his spirit to give my father such wise advice as to get out?  What made him decide to spare him, rather than yank him out of that house like so many before him?  And what would have happened if he had done that?

The answer is pretty clear.  First of all, my father’s family would have been completely exterminated.  That means, I would not be here to tell this story, since I would not have been born. Personally, I believe this is an important story -- one that needs to be told.  Yes, Elie Wiesel told his story but there are so many more stories out there.  Each one different but with a common thread.  God's chosen people were being exterminated. Had that SS soldier followed orders, I would not have ever existed.  And yet, God in his mercy understood that.  He allowed my father to live.

How exactly do I think our Creator reacted to all this evil on the earth?  As he does now….He grieves it. That makes me incredibly sad.  He has done everything to redeem us and to love us – even to the point of breaking His Son; the ultimate sacrifice, our Savior and Redeemer. 

There’s a song by the Sidewalk Prophets called “You Love Me Anyway”.  In it the lyrics say,

“I am the thorn in your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas' kiss
But You love me anyway
See now I am the man who yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then I turned away with a smile on my face
With this sin in my heart, tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night I still call out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
But You love me anyway
Oh God, how You love me

The song is, in essence saying, we are all culpable for Jesus’ death.  Let’s face it – we are sinful beings and whether we were physically there or not, we are the reason Jesus died.  It’s a pretty convicting song. 

So, is mankind capable of breaking God's heart?  Yes, we are.  God grieves. “Jesus wept”.  And yes, we are quite capable of breaking our God’s heart.

 

 

 

 

           

 

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