Does God Give us More than We Can Take?

The other day in a Stephen Ministry meeting, a discussion ensued about whether or not God truly does give us more than we can take.  I personally am glad I did not hear this a year ago.  God gives us more than we can handle?  Hmmm, I need to think about this more closely...

The author of the blog states unequivocally that God DOES give us more than we can take and cites the following examples:

• a survivor of Auschwitz
• the man who lost his wife and child in a car accident
• a girl whose innocence was robbed from her
• a person crushed under the weight of depression and anxiety
• kids who just learned their parent has a terminal illness

These are all great examples.  And what many may not know (myself included at the time), is that this is not a Scripturally-based expression.  The closest that is in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 10:13.  It says, "...And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."  (NIV) In looking more closely, the passage 1 Corinthians 10:1-13 speaks to a warning against overconfidence; that baptism and partaking in the Lord’s supper are not enough to guarantee your entry into Heaven.  Rather, we need to rely on God’s grace and continue to pursue a life lived for His glory.  Sounds pretty close, though-- except for that whole temptation part.  Nope, no word about trials in this passage.  

I guess the question now becomes, if He gives us more than we can bear, "How can we survive intolerable situations?"  Ah, the answer to that, DOES lie in Scripture.  

He sends us Christians to pray with us and for us,  and assures us that He is there.  Matthew 18:20 says   “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” (New American Standard Bible)

He tells us to pray ALL the time, and to be joyful while doing so.  Even during trials, He is building us up for the body of Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)

He assures us that these turbulent and depressing times won’t last forever.

Jeremiah 30:18-21 “...Things will get better and better.  Depression days are over.  They’ll thrive, they’ll flourish....” (The Message)

So is it possible God gives us more than we can handle?  I suppose it is.  But let’s look at the greatest example of our faith -- Jesus.  Surely, if anyone had more then he could handle,  it would be Him.  Yet, in his final hours, He ultimately surrendered to His Father’s will.  He knew His Father was in control.

So does God give us more than we can handle?  I guess there are times that He does.  But, I suppose the take away is that God is in control in all circumstances.  He is there and has been since the beginning.   He hears us when we cry out.  At those times when we have more than we can take,  we need to just surrender and hand it all over to Him.  

A Beautiful Prayer

I read a poem the other day.  It’s called “A Beautiful Prayer”.  I don’t know the author -- I only know it speaks to my heart.   It allows me to see things through our Creator’s eyes.  It is truly a beautiful prayer.

  

Blessings

Yesterday evening and this morning was spent in tears.  I am not crying for sadness but rather, for joy.    That's right -- joy!  When people look at me, they see a newly single, 50-something, living in a house a third of the size of the one foreclosed upon a year ago and in near- financial ruin.

Do you know what I see?  I see the complete opposite.  Quite simply, God has blessed me.  He has moved me beyond a bad marriage.  He has made me independent and strong.  He has taught me to rely on His provision.  He has shifted my priorities from one of self-centeredness to one of giving of self.  He has put people in my life who build me up and encourage me, rather than tear me down.  I have a roof over my head, food on the table and the love of family and friends.  I am slowly paying back the debt that my ex-husband left me with by working two, sometimes three jobs.  I am tired and yet, I still manage in my "spare" time to do volunteer work.  How do I do it?  Through God.  He is my strength in times of weakness.  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

I love coming home everyday to my house.  Yes, it is small but it is the first "real" home I've had.  It is my place of refuge and quiet.  It is my private sanctuary.  It is here that I worship each and every evening. "...that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." 1 Timothy 2:2 (NIV)  It's something God wants for us -- to live in peace.

My "worship" starts with listening to music.   Next,  I read a devotional or two.  Each one, no matter what it says, seems to be speaking to my heart for that very day.   It's as though it was written for me!  I also read my Bible.  I try to hear what God is telling me.  Sometimes I revisit the passages that were in a Sunday sermon or Bible study; other times, I go to favorites.  Often, I look up things that are on my heart to see what God has to say about them.  What does He tell me about brokenness?  What does He say about marriage?  What does He say about our work ethic?  Tithing?  Spiritual practices and gifts?  Lastly, I pray.  I pray for those who are in my life.  I pray for those on my ever-growing prayer list. Believe it or not, there are a lot of people in need -- physical, mental and spiritual!  

My spirit is frequently moved during this time of what I refer to as "worship".   I tell you about this time, not because I am a perfect Christian - Trust me, I fall short everyday.  I share with you because these daily spiritual practices are what complete my day.  They revitalize me for the next day.  I hope that perhaps they will give you ideas on ways to spend time with God, and receive a much-needed daily renewal. 

There are also other ways to spend time with God.  Sitting outside and having a cup of coffee in the sunshine -- that's spending time with God.  Listening to music in the car -- that's spending time with God.  Talking with my grandchildren on the phone -- that's spending time with God.  Loving your job -- that's spending time with God.  Praying in the car on the way to work -- that's spending time with God.  God is everywhere.  He created everything.  Enjoy Him in the here and now!

So many times we get caught up in what the "world" says we need.  We need a big house, a fancier car, more friends, more things...No, we don't.  There is a point of satisfaction.  It comes when you realize that those things are, well simply, stuff.  Granted, they are nice to have but when they become the focus of your life and take your eyes off your Creator, then they are no longer of value.  They have become a distraction; almost a nuisance.  Jesus as much as said it.  When he met a rich young man, Jesus said to him, "...Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Then come, follow me."  Mark 10:21 (NIV)  When the young man could not bring himself to do it, Jesus said "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."  Mark 10:24 (NIV)

Now, I was far from rich but do you know how much stuff I gave away in order to fit into my new home?  More than I care to admit.  It was stuff that I thought I couldn't live without when I moved to Nevada.  Guess what?  They sat in a garage for 3 years!  Some things, I had actually forgotten about!  With the exception of some winter coats I had been looking for, books and photos most everything else went to charity.  Instead of waiting for a crisis, maybe it's time to take stock and see if these things have become a distraction in your life.  Is watching your 72" TV more important than reading the Word?  If so, it may be time to prioritize.  I'm not saying don't enjoy your TV.  Heck, you can TIVO what you want to watch and then watch it whenever!  Even in this day and age, God has made provisions and ways for us to put Him first.

I had to lose nearly everything to really see how God could work in my life.  I lost my marriage, I lost my house, I lost my worldly possessions.  I was so far down, I couldn't see my way up.  Yet, I could feel his Hand reaching for me. He used every means possible to pull me out of that hole.   He put people in my life who were instrumental to building me up and helping me.  He put me in circumstances that I didn't want to be in, and yet, they were likewise necessary in order to increase my faith.  This journey was a walk in faith.  I had to trust Him -- and I did.  Even though I was down, my faith never wavered.  I knew this was God's Will for me.  "...give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

He saw things in my marriage that I couldn't or wouldn't.  Sometimes He needs to rock our world in order to get our attention.  We always think the worst when something happens to another; we have to justify that somehow they deserved what they got. Why else would God allow such bad things to happen?  Yet, I was not a "bad" person.  I was living a Christian way of life by most peoples' standards.  However, in looking back, I was more inwardly focused and in my will rather than His will.  I trusted my husband more than I trusted Him.  I tried to fix things, rather than hand them over to God.   I did not fully embrace my spiritual beliefs and practices required by God because I knew my husband disapproved.  I believe God put me through hell, in every sense of the word, because He wanted to make me into the person He knew I could become.  Sometimes he puts us through fire in order to shape us.  "See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction."  Isaiah 48:10  (NIV) 

He saw the potential that I didn't even know existed.  During this time, my faith has grown, beyond what I could imagine.  I am a new person in Him.  I have shed many tears over the past year, but none so bittersweet as those that I shed over the last twelve hours.  I didn't just read it -- I have lived it; "For I can do everything  through Christ, who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13 (NLT)

As for the future.  Well, all I can say is that I am still a work in progress. "...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."  Joshua 24:15 (NASB)  God is hard at work to continue to help me fulfill my potential.  As I sit in my quiet little home, I thank God for each and every blessing He has given me.   

Guarding your Heart: Advice for Singles

It seems rather ironic to me that I should be giving relationship advice.  After all, I've been out of the dating scene since the dawn of the dinosaurs.  Okay, not really that long but it feels that long.  The truth is, I haven't been on a date since disco was  en vogue.  Some of you reading this, probably don't even know what disco was...that's okay -- google it -- it's out there somewhere.  

In any case, I am blogging about this topic because ever since I became single (not quite 4 months ago), I have been inundated by well-meaning people to get back on the dating scene.  I've heard such things as "Join a website!" or "Get out -- Go have fun!" or the sage advice, "Don't put one toe at a time in cold water -- You jump in all at once."  Oh, and the ever popular question, "It isn't against your religion is it?"   Definitely, each and every comment given with true affection for me and for my welfare.   (Well, maybe not the last question, but I digress...)   However, after coming out of a long term relationship, I find that I am simply not interested in dating again.  After all, if I wanted to invest time in a new relationship, then why not take that same time and invest it in the old relationship.  Of course, as we know, some relationships aren't salvageable -- mine being one of them.  But you see where I'm going here.  Sometimes being alone is not a bad thing.  I mean it!  At this stage in my life, I prefer it.  Sometimes, just spending time with God is like being in, well -- heaven.  And that's what I want to talk about today.

Last Christmas, I was preparing to go to the midwest to visit family.  I was in the midst of my marital crisis and my pastor said to me before I left, "Guard your heart".  Three simple words:  Guard.. Your ...Heart.  I liked it.  I knew where he was going with that advice -- "Keep your nose clean, kid.  Don't get into trouble."  It's solid advice and I have kept it in the forefront of my mind.  By the way, he didn't just make that up either.   It's in the Bible.  The complete verse reads, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

You see, frequently, we let our hearts determine the outcome of our lives.   We allow our emotions to dictate what we do, rather than God's Word.  Even as adults, there is "peer pressure" out there for singles.  I am a schoolteacher and am well aware of peer pressure that my students face;  and yet on a daily basis, adults are bombarded by the same type of peer pressure.  We go to the bars, we hang out with individuals who, Christian or not, may not make the best decisions or who influence the decisions we make.  Even in middle age, we want to "fit in".  Yes, we still want to be cool.  You think that you wouldn't do things that on the surface, are completely out of sync with your faith.  Yet, the truth is, when we do things incompatible with our beliefs, we will go so far as to rationalize it to ourselves.  "I work hard -- I deserve to have a drink and relax." Or, "Who cares if I go home with XYZ -- it's my life!"  Or, "I've been alone so long..."  Many times, we follow our own paths rather than following God's.  God knows our needs.  He created us.  He knows us inside and out; "13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well...23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139: 13-14, 23-24 (NIV)

Be honest with yourself.  You are sitting here and reading a faith-based blog so obviously, you must follow some tenets of  faith.  Do you think that the words you read in the Bible are false?  Does God put out anything less than the Truth?  The Bible is filled with His Words!  If  the Bible is God-inspired, then there is some powerful Truth to those verses.

This next section may seem random, but hang with me.  I do have a point.  When I first approached my family with the news of divorce, I was met with outrage.  I was accused of having had an affair.  I had to be having an affair.  After all, why would I leave my husband of 30 years?  I had my reasons, all very valid.  But more importantly, here was my response to them.  "You obviously don't know who I am...if you did, you would know what my faith means to me! You would know who I am in Christ."  Frankly, I was the one who was outraged!  But more importantly, I wanted them to understand that I take God's Words seriously -- that the Bible is real to me.  It is not a piece of historical fiction.  Christ died on that cross for all of us -- so that we could live through Him!   No small sacrifice, I might add.  Could you do it?  For anyone -- let alone those who are unloveable?  Could you, in the midst of torture, look to God and ask for forgiveness for those who tormented you?  What does the Bible mean to you?  What does Christ mean to you?  

So, let's go back to guarding our hearts.   Since Christ's resurrection, our hearts have been filled with the Holy Spirit.  It is where God plants seeds of Truth.  Do we want to defile its holiness by following our own course?  Or do we want to allow God to fulfill His promises to us?  An evening of frivolity is not worth changing the course of your life He has set in motion for you.  Instead of going out, I challenge you to spend time with Him.  Read your Bible.  Journal.  Listen to music and really worship Him.  Listen to what the Holy Spirit has to say with regards to guarding your heart.  If you don't want to listen to me then listen to your Father in heaven. He loves you more than anyone else.  Guard your heart... it's sound advice.  I like it!  

Finding God in Sin City

I'm from the midwest and am frequently asked (with a wink and a nod) -- so how is it out there?   There, meaning, Las Vegas -- you know, "Sin City" as it is so aptly named.  No matter where you live, life has its challenges and temptations.  But Las Vegas -- why people come here, just SO they can sin!  Okay, well maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but that is the reputation it has earned.  You know the tagline -- "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?"  

For me, moving to Las Vegas was a difficult decision.  I had one child entering high school and another in college.  I lived in the midwest and attended church regularly.  Moving to Vegas just didn't seem to mesh with my Christian values.  I had visited a few times.  Let's see...we saw the Treasure Island show with its bevy of scantily clad beauties displaying all for my 14-year-old son to see. "No, Dorothy -- you are definitely not in Kansas anymore!" And yes, I know it may come as a shock to many of you but this place definitely has a seedy side.  For instance, there are  people walking down the Strip passing out cards for adult shows or tourists getting completely wasted.  No, this was not a place where I wanted to finish raising our boys.  To me, Las Vegas was incredibly deceptive.  

Let me tell you what I saw on my visits here. Las Vegas is an incredibly beautiful city that is filled with palm trees.  It is surrounded by mountains and has incredible architecture and lighting.    Yet, when you look closely,  you can see this city for what it is; an adult Disneyland that stimulates every pleasure center in your brain.  It is a city with a dark pulse that is its very lifeblood.  This is a city that grabs you and won't let you go.  However, despite my feelings toward this place, God had different plans for our family.

 Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, 11 "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 

One day, as I was praying about this decision, I knew what we had to do.  It was not something I wanted to do but also, I knew God had a reason for us to move to Las Vegas. (Though for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why!)  My friends from church asked "Are you sure you want to move there?"  Well, I wasn't sure but I knew that it had to be done.  God doesn't usually ask you to do something unless He has a reason for it.  

I wish I could tell you things turned out great; that we bought a big house, that the family business was thriving and that we were able to see our family in the midwest as often as we wanted.  No, life didn't turn out as well as any of us had hoped.  The market here took a downturn. We lost a lot of income, and subsequently, our house.  My husband and I also got a divorce.  Surprising?  Not really for "Sin City".  But what is surprising is that through all of our hardship, I never lost faith that God was in the midst.  Was it easy?  No.  Did I question God's sovereignty? Yes, sometimes.  Did I come out stronger and more faithful as a result of this?  Absolutely!  You see, God does have plans for all of us.  It may not be the plans that we expect or even want.  However, His plans are so much greater than we can possibly understand.   God tells us that if we seek Him, we shall find Him.  If we pray to Him, He is listening.  Most of all,  He knows our future and He is there with us guiding us each and every step of the way.  

Many of you are probably wondering if I wish that things had turned out differently?  Admittedly, there were times when I did but not anymore. I know that God used these situations to mold me into the person I am today.  I know that I am cared for and loved by a God Who loves me more than I can comprehend and He is giving me exactly what I need.  My faith has grown exponentially.  My future is indeed filled with hope in Him.  So, when people ask "How is it out there?" Well, think of it this way; what better mission field than in "Sin City"?  

On Marriage

The last year has been a rocky one for me.  It was spent getting a divorce after 31 years of marriage.  The unique thing about my marriage is that when I got married, I did not know what marriage was or meant.  I take responsibility for that; for that is the true heart of the problems within my marriage.  And it was not a one-sided problem.  I do not believe my husband had that understanding either.  I did not recognize that this was a marriage doomed from the start.  You see, my definition of marriage included words like love and passion and friendship.  However, marriage is more than being in love.  It is more than having passion.  It is more than being friends.  Although those are definitely parts of it, those things alone do not sustain a marriage.  It is more than sharing a house, having children and a white picket fence.  Marriage is a giving up of self.  In Ephesians 5: 22-33, God talks in depth about the marriage covenant.

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  24 Now as the church submits to Christ,  so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body , but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church --30 for we are members of his body.  31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh."  32  This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.  33 However each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

However, what exactly does this mean?  Ephesians 4:1-6 gives us a little more background into what our relationship with the Lord should look like.  Paul writes, "1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.  4 There is one body and one Spirit --just as you were called to one hope when you were called -- 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."

Note in verses 4-6, the reiteration of the word "one" -- we are one with God and the body of Christ.  Then let's look at 5:31 "...the two will become one flesh".  Notice a recurring theme?  In our relationship with God, Paul asks us to give ourselves up completely to God.  It is an obliteration of self -- for the greater good, so to speak.  Likewise, in marriage, we are to be so selfless, that we are willing to give our self up -- one to the other -- again, for the greater good.  It is the sum of the parts that make the whole.

Obviously, I am not the poster child for marriage, as my own marriage ended.  However, as I try to discover why my marriage failed, I am brought back to God and what He says about marriage.  Just as He has a covenant with us, so we are to have a covenant with our spouses.  So what do I take away from this?  What is a definition of marriage that even I can understand?  Marriage is the obliteration of one's self in order that the "two can become one flesh".   I like that definition.  It is deep and complex, yet simple to understand.  It is complete. Would you expect anything less from God?