Scamming: Buyer Beware

 scam

(skăm)

N.

A fraudulent business scheme; a swindle.

TR.V.

scammed, scam·ming, scams

To defraud; swindle.

A few months ago my husband and I parted ways.  He had somehow gotten himself involved with Instagram scammers and I, for one, did not want to be a part of that.  Fast forward 8 months...he is sitting in a Motel 6 in the middle of Bumf*ck, California waiting for the call from his girlfriend/fiance so he can move in with her.  Previously, we lived in a nice home, we both had great jobs and a happy married life.  We sold our nice home, he quit his job and is living only on social security, which would not house and feed a goldfish, and he lost his marriage.  For what?  For a dream?  He HAD the dream...home, job, love.  What evs...

Well, I had the pleasure of likewise meeting a scammer.  And so, ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to educate you on red flags.  Your scammer may or may not have photos that looked posed for...like modeling shots.  BIG red flag.  They will inundate you with love and warmth.  Their shower of affection is almost too good to be true.  You would be correct.  It IS too good to be true.  Now, I will tell you, the scammer I had used normal photos except for one.  Okay, I rationalized.  Maybe he took the picture for his business.  Additionally, they are almost always widowed.  If you don't believe me, ask Dr. Phil.  Well, you say to yourself, they could actually be a widower.  We talked for a week and then I inquired about talking on the phone.  He seemed amenable to it but said he had a cold and wanted to wait until he felt better.  Fair, I thought.  However, a friend of mine said, have you seen him?  Great question.  Last night, we talked.  There were major phone glitches prompting me to call him back.  I got an irate man who said someone had called him like 12 times asking for this person.  12 times?  Not me.  Now, I had some serious questions.  I did a reverse phone lookup.  Landline.  When he called back, he said his phone was on call forward.  Generally, you forward to someone you know.  Not someone who asks, why are you calling me?  Additionally, it sounded like he was in no man's land.  Gurgling and all kinds of background noise.  It was not a call placed, IMHO from the United States.  Furthermore, when I sent him a link for a video call, he said he doesn't click on links because he was sent a bad one once.  Hmmmm....he wanted to talk.  He had a British accent...funny, he didn't mention he was from the UK.  Or had lived in Australia.  Maybe he was calling from Australia??  In any case, I told him unless we did the video call, that was the end of the road.  He said he was insulted.  That's fine, buddy...because I don't like people who lie or pretend to be someone they're not.  You see how quickly this turned?  He wanted to talk with me...not be on a video call.  Why?  Because he was the man behind the curtain, not the man who called himself Sam and was a good Christian.  And let me tell you, he had everything down pat...to the Bible verses he liked.

I hope this will show everyone how easy it is to be scammed.  If someone asks you about money, retirement, investments, etc. cut them loose.  It is none of their business, no matter how much you may like them or how good their picture is.  Do not give personal information such as address, work, or anything that could help them steal your identity.  

Since the drama with my husband, I am on high alert.  I don't need a friend/boyfriend so badly that I am willing to take a chance.  It is so not worth it.  I have heard of wealthy people losing hundreds of thousands of dollars.  Scammers are good at what they do.  So please, think twice about an online relationship...dating websites are a buyer beware.

Gray and White

 

Gray and white...for some reason, I am drawn to these colors of late.  Right now, I have dark gray sheets on my bed and a white comforter.  I just bought some artwork with a sepia background and black flowers.  Often times, people think in terms of black and white but sometimes, they are actually gray and white.

Right now, I am in the middle of a divorce.  It came completely out of the blue and not something I envisioned for my later years.  Yet, here it is.  In the hopes of saving my marriage, I offered several compromises that not even I was wholly comfortable with...and yet, this situation has not been black and white.

What do you do when your husband begins indulging in online affairs?  Gives money to strangers.  Or becomes a money mule?  How do you handle that.  Black and white, right?  What if this complete reversal of personality happened overnight...What if instead of willfulness, it is the product of brain trauma from a stroke or a seizure?  Is it suddenly so black and white?  Now, we're in a gray and white situation.  But you're caught in the middle.  Your bank account is being drained, his credit card has reached a balance of over 47K, and it's because he is giving away personal information like his credit card number and/or bank account number.  Suddenly, you're in a black and white situation again.

That's where I am...black and white...gray and white...does it matter anymore?  The only one constant in my life this past year has been my faith.  Although I am still in shock as to how our marriage got to this state, it is here.  My reality has been to save me.  Save my finances, my credit score, my mental and physical health.   Does that sound selfish?  We got married in sickness and in health.  But, when your other half refuses to be seen by a doctor, I think that vow becomes a moot point.   Let no man put asunder also became a moot point the day your spouse tells you in no uncertain terms and quite explicitly, what he wanted a 32-year-old Instagram model to do to him.  

Here's the thing...he is in a world of gray and white.  Although this woman exists, he is talking with scammers.  They have, under the guise of being her, told him that she would take care of him.  It's not true and he's about to find out very soon that what I have said all along is true.   Do I gain some sort of twisted, "I told you so?"  Not at all.  He will find out soon enough that quitting his job, losing his home, his wife and his money was not worth it.  

Black and white.  He will no longer be in his world of, well it's okay to talk dirty with a stranger or put their picture on his phone as a screen saver.  It's harmless, right?  So what if they take old peoples' money "to invest"...I'm just turning it into bitcoin for them.  A slippery slope.  Gray and white becomes black and white.

God says we will know the end times.  Isaiah 5:20 says, "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness..."

Some may think I am writing this post to call out my husband.  Not so.  He will not read this.  What I am doing is writing for those who think that the world is shades of gray.  As Christians, we are going down that slippery slope.  If you are walking that line, I hear God calling for us as Christians to reign it in.  Don't do whatever you want and then go to church on Sunday saying, "Well God forgives me."  God wants you to repent (turn away) from your sin.  YOU are the example.  YOU are to walk in Christ's footsteps.  Is it hard?  Yes.  Is it impossible?  No.  Matthew 19:26 says, "But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

He's here.  He's watching.  He's listening.  Are you?  

If you are going through difficult times, you can rest assured God is with you.  He goes before you.  He has a plan for your life.  Trust Him.  Cry out to Him.  He is holding you.  Of that you can be assured.

Kari Jobe -- I am not alone

https://youtu.be/Ow4OfW4DP9s

Back to the Beginning

 

2022.  It's not been an amazing year.  In fact, it has kind of stunk.  I retired from teaching in January due to health issues.  Fortunately, I got my mojo back, so in March, I began applying for teaching positions again.  And I got one!  So, why has my year stunk?  The truth of it is that I am getting a divorce.  #2 or as I used to refer to people who had two divorces under their belt, a two-time loser.  

My mom used to say that after people get married, they change.  Well, she was correct about this one! Boy, did my spouse ever change (and not for the better!)  Without getting into the details, suffice it to say that there is nothing fixable about this.  He has become a person I no longer recognize nor care to have a relationship with.  Kudos to me that this time around, I recognized I needed to get out.  That I am in therapy and taking medication to keep my emotions at bay.  But it is sad.  And it hurts.

Two years ago, we bought our dream house.  Nothing fancy -- 2 bedroom in a 50+ neighborhood with lots of activities and a restaurant, where we had our weekly date night.  Date night.  Now, you'd think with something like that in play, one could never go wrong.  Think again.  We also held hands every night as we slept.  Again, how could we go astray?  Well, sometimes you are powerless to stop another from making poor life decisions.  And frankly, my husband believes he is living his best life, so who am I to stop him?  It is a very shallow existence and one that I believe, will come back to bite him in the ass.  

And so, I moved out last week.  To a nice apartment with plenty of space for my kitty to roam while I go to work.  An apartment with rent that's higher than my house payment.  But I digress (altho' that too is a thorn in my side).  The good news is, I have a great job and get to continue collecting my retirement and social security.  This is a completely different financial circumstance than the one I found myself in, in 2013.  I have worked my ass off the last 9 years, and it shows.  I have gotten a second master's degree (this time in Educational Administration) and with no husband to go home to, I am going for it... administration, that is.  Late nights?  Bring 'em on!

Which brings me to getting busy....my last divorce, I spent so much time being "busy" with school, church and second and third jobs, that I don't think I had time for anything except work and sleep.  I never really processed my emotions.  This time, I have the luxury of time to myself.  I haven't had that for many, many years.  Imagine, being able to buy smooth peanut butter instead of chunky (which I never liked).  Or sitting and watching HGTV all day with my cat.  Sounds blissful, right?  

The hardest part is being alone and being ok with it.  I suffer from social anxiety and so it is hard for me to make myself get out of the house.  I can do it for work, but it is hard for anything else.  So, this is something I will be working on.  

I do know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  This is not a saying but a promise.  Yes, we can always stand on the promises of God.  As I have always said, He is there.  Carrying us in times of difficulty.  I think because my faith is strong, I have shed few tears this go-around.  I am also older...wiser...more pragmatic.  

So for those of you who are struggling, remember this.  God loves you. 

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

Also, Christian music cheers me up, so here you go...

https://youtu.be/LuvfMDhTyMA