Money

And so comes the final chapter in my financial woes...Chapter 7.  I am, officially, broke.  Beyond.  The good news is that this will end this legal nightmare; and trust me, it is.  In some ways I am celebrating because I can now move forward with my life.  In other ways, I am deeply disturbed that it has come to this.  Ladies, let me say this loud and clear...never, EVER trust someone enough to let them handle your finances.  Period.  I don't care if they're your spouse.  If you don't watch out for yourself, no one will.

I hope this doesn't sound terribly bitter but this is indeed a cautionary tale.  I trusted someone that didn't deserve my trust.  I placed full and complete confidence that he was looking out for "our" best interests...wrong!  He was looking out for HIS best interest.  And if you don't believe such people exist, you are living in a bubble.  And yes, I hope I burst your bubbles just enough for you to, at the very least, look over your shoulder and watch where your money goes; even jointly held finances.

My goal now in moving forward is to help others.  I am planning to facilitate a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University.  It is incredibly time consuming.  As I recall, it is a 2-3 month course and a couple of hours each week.  Yet, I feel it is THAT important...more important than DivorceCare, CelebrateRecovery or any other program out there designed to help people get their lives on track.  It's important because as Dave says, if you don't take control of money, money will take control of you.  He is absolutely right!  I took the course a year or two before my divorce with my then-spouse.  I hadn't anticipated a divorce at that time but I was so thankful post-divorce that I had that knowledge under my belt.  I learned how to make a budget (something I had never done my entire life), how to pay off debt and how to plan for my future.

So if I understood how to pay off debt, why bankruptcy?  I did my best to pay off my debt but at the end of the day, I was beaten.  A $93,000 bill on a second mortgage which I was told was unsecured (if that's the case, why is it a 2nd mortgage?) pushed me over the edge.  I had over $100K in jointly held student loans, a couple of small credit cards but this did it.  At the end of the day, I will still be responsible for the student loans, which is life.  How I wish I had not been so vulnerable as to listen to someone who said, "take the full amount" when asked about how much money we should borrow?  I figured my ex-husband had a plan to pay them back; turns out, he didn't.  

And so, the final chapter of my financial woes is soon to being over.  I will go back to a reasonably normal life sans credit cards.  If I do get married, it will be done with a prenuptual agreement, as I do not ever wish to find myself in the same position as I was nearly four years ago.  Fortunately, my fiance has agreed to these terms as he has watched me go through the sleepless nights and nightmares, as I worry about retirement and my financial future.  

So, to those of you who are not quite sure how to handle finances or have chosen to let someone else handle them for you, I encourage you to run, not walk, to your nearest church where they offer Financial Peace University.  It could, one day, be your saving grace.

Pink Floyd "Money"
https://youtu.be/JkhX5W7JoWI