Let it Go

I looked up the definition of irony on Google.  There were two but the second one caught my eye.  It said, "a literary technique, originally used in Greek tragedy, by which the full significance of a character's words or actions are clear to the audience or reader although unknown to the character."

Had I been born during the period of Greeks, I'm certain my life would have been a Greek tragedy; for here I am -- this character -- who leaves her home to follow her husband in an attempt to save her marriage.  The outcome?  The characters divorce and the husband returns to their original home.  Irony.

Folks, I couldn't make this up.  It is true.  My ex-husband left Nevada, which he swore was paradise, to return to our home state.  As a result, I spent Saturday crying my eyes out; not because I would miss him but because of the irony of the entire situation.  

Here I am, with a new life, in a state I don't particularly like -- yet, I have made it work the best that I can.  I have turned lemons into lemonade; job, church home, fiance and friends.  Yet, I miss my grandchildren terribly.  Frankly, I would probably move back in a heartbeat if I didn't have to go back to becoming a probationary teacher rather than tenured, as I am now.  

And so on Saturday, I cried.  Cried for the fact that I was betrayed once again.  Truthfully, it was so not worth the swollen eyes and headache, as it ruined my day.

On Monday, I gained new perspective as I led a Bible study.  One of the women said, "Let it go."  As in everything.  Let go of the fact that my ex has stiffed me on financial support and student loans.  Let go of the anger.  Let go of the sadness.  Let go of the past.  Let everything go.  I have to be honest -- I thought I had done that but the Saturday before had proven to me that I hadn't.  And so, I made a decision to really let it go.

I have a great life!  I have a fiance who really adores me and would marry me tomorrow if I would let him.  I told him I am not going after my ex for anything.  His response?  He is going to help me pay off my debt.  Now, that's a mensch!  (Yiddish for a person of integrity and honor).  I have a great job, wonderful friends, a church home that I love and frankly, I'm happier than I have been in my entire life.  Do I miss my grandkids?  Absolutely!  But I can still visit them a couple of times a year and spoil them rotten...and I don't have to shovel snow in the process!

So, I move forward.   I have let it go.  Again.  I hope that these feelings of betrayal and anger do not surface because frankly, they are emotionally wearing.  And I have been tired for a very long time.  

So today, I am grateful.  As far as I'm concerned, the best thing about my marriage were the four beautiful children it produced and now, my grandchildren.  God has blessed me richly.  It doesn't get better than this; if I died tomorrow, I will have done so with a smile on my heart despite the pain I've been through.  Irony.

"Let it Go" from the movie "Frozen"  Well worth the listen....
https://youtu.be/L0MK7qz13bU