Wednesday marked the start of the Lenten season. It was the celebration of Ash Wednesday. I started my day with some ups and downs. I had been looking forward to it for a few weeks and yet, I was having a bad day; anger at my ex-husband; I'm sure Satan was having a field day. So, I did what any Christian might do in that circumstance, and that was to reach out to other Christians and ask for prayer.The prayers came in. And as I was waiting on them, I began to reflect. I had also found a Facebook post about fasting. It talked about how fasting could be fasting from guilt, anger and other negative emotions. It does not have to be a fast from food or as I had planned, social media.
And so, I made the decision to fast from anger. Anger at my ex-husband and to work toward complete healing and forgiveness. It is time -- I need to let some things go. I need to move forward and let the past remain in the past. No more anger, as it can take root and go from anger to bitterness. That's the last thing in the world I wish to be is a bitter divorcee.
The remainder of the day was fairly harried. I was on the go from 6:30 AM until I went to church, which was 6:15 PM. In fact, I thought I might be late but thankfully, I wasn't. We were to take a rock from a basket. I went in -- seated near the front, which makes me a bit uncomfortable, but the church was pretty packed.
The service was beautiful. Peaceful. The troubles of the day faded quickly as I got into the quiet mode of worshipping our God. It was a communion service. As we prepared for communion, the pastor motioned to me. I went to see what he needed and he asked if I could man one of the communion stations. It was the one with wafers and grape juice, directly in front of the center aisle. I was more than happy to oblige. I love to be part of the worship service -- it is always special.
Both pastors were in front of me putting ashes on each congregant's forehead as they came down that very aisle, where I was asked to stand. First the children, then everyone else. I watched as I saw the amazement on the children's faces. I remember one year, a little girl asked me if it hurt. I'm sure that's what some children were thinking. The pastors ever so gently and lovingly placed the ashes on each person's forehead or gave a blessing, if the person did not want the ashes applied. I looked at those faces of everyone. I felt incredibly close to God to witness from that perspective. For a moment, I think I must have known what it felt like to actually be a pastor and what a blessed experience!
After everyone had gone, I finally was able to receive the ashes and take communion. Later, my pastor said he knew that my helping would interrupt my communion time but also, he knew I would be blessed by the experience. I was indeed.
As for the rocks, those were symbolic of our burdens. We were to leave them at the prayer rail. Mine symbolized my anger. I left it up there with all the burdens of the others.
It's been two days since that service. I still feel an incredible peace in my spirit. God blessed me greatly by allowing me the opportunity to witness Ash Wednesday from a completely unexpected viewpoint. Despite the challenges that may come our way, God continues to show Himself to me. It is a peace I revel in; it is His grace at work.
About Lent: "Lent is a season of sacrifice and moving towards the cross with Christ; it is also a time of celebrating God's miraculous grace and everlasting love. More than anything, Lent is a season of preparation and practice. We prepare for Christ's death and resurrection, and we practice our discipleship through faith, through community, through prayer, and through sharing our experiences with one another." (from the Green Valley UMC church bulletin 3/5/14)
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