The Armor of God

Today is a day where it is hard to muddle through.  I had a migraine today, precipitated by several life events.  Unexpected events that just -- well, did not take me completely by surprise but certainly, should've happened long before now.

I have often thought of closing down this blog because, well, I wonder how much is too much?  Do people really want to know what's happening in my personal life?  Yet, I hear God telling me to press forward.  I don't know why...the process is painful and yet, if it will help others, I have always been willing to do it.  I have been filled with self-doubt this past month.  It is, I'm certain, a spiritual war. 

Many believers and non-believers alike do not believe in spiritual warfare.  Yet, we do live in a spiritual world.  God reigns but don't be fooled; Satan also exists.  You cannot have light without darkness.  Make no mistake, there is darkness in this world.  These are just a few verses but the Bible is full of them.  Just do an Internet search on what the Bible says about spiritual warfare. 

1 Peter 5:8 says,  "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (ESV)

James 4:7 says,  "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (ESV)

Luke 10:19 says,  "Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you." (ESV)

2 Corinthians 11:14 says, "And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light." (ESV)

Today is hard.  Last night, I went through a completely abusive situation with my ex-husband.  I was lambasted in ways I couldn't even comprehend.  I was not just shocked and appalled by his words because they were cutting and he knew exactly which buttons to push  (as 31 years will do that), but also, they made me sick.  He spoke to me like I was his property; chattel.  Who is this person I was married to for 31 years?  I knew he had the propensity for being cruel and my God-given discernment told me to stay because our children were young and it would get ugly.   He had threatened to take them overseas.  So, I stayed -- knowing the potential for a severe backlash was inevitable.  Surprisingly, it didn't come that first year and a half of our divorce.  But it is coming now; and it is harsh.  I have been crying ever since.

I'm not sure what to say to someone who tells me I broke up our family?  I'm not sure how to take being called horrific names because I choose to move on with my life?   I'm not sure how to process someone so cruel?  It makes me sad that he is so broken.  Even more important, that he is still able to break me.  Despite my beliefs, he can still hurt me in unimaginable ways.  It scares me that I am still so vulnerable to him.   He is working hard to build family alliances among our family.  It is the way it is done in his culture.  I just didn't think he would be successful.  However, he is a cunning fellow and quite the manipulator.  I find myself asking God, "Why are you allowing this?  I can't be strong anymore!"  And yet, I am.  I am on my knees but I am still upright -- that is all that matters.

I am working hard to be the example and live according to His will; yet, Satan is coming at me with both barrels. And at times, I am far from the perfect Christian.  I fall short when I am called terrible things and sucked into this vortex of evil.   This is indeed a spiritual battle.  For Satan is the great deceiver and yes, allows evil to creep into the hearts of others.  Purely for his delight, I might add.  The closer my book gets to publication, the greater the battle.  It is time for me to do what I need to do; that is,  put on the full armor of God.     
               

The Armor of God

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.  Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV)

I prayed for my ex last night.  I prayed for me -- for a hedge of protection.  God has been telling me to leave for awhile.  I have one more year to be vested in my pension at work, then I will go.  To where, I have no idea.  I am completely open to His leading.  I need a place of solitude and quiet respite.  Where I can find "Lisa" again, and feel completely free.

Am I running away?  Perhaps.  I like to think I'm running toward something.  I do know that without God's armor, I have no protection against these spiritual battles.  Although they ensue daily, we often resign ourselves to the belief that this is how life is and has to be -- it's not.  God has a perfect plan for our life.  We will, periodically, encounter trials for that is how we grow as Christians.  But a battle of this size?  It is, in my eyes, of epic proportion.  I am one person -- yet, I have a God who walks with me and sends angels to watch over me.  He is in the midst of this battle.  Know what?  I know Who's going to win!  As you walk through these spiritual battles, stay strong.  Put on the armor of God.  Look at that picture and really focus on God's Truth.  Those are Satan's arrows coming at you; lies and half-truths; deception.  We have the power to fight them off; but are we willing to do what it takes?  Friends, stay in the Word, pray with fellow Christians and listen for God's leading in all areas of our lives.  If we do all these things will it work?  The truth? Satan may win the battle but in the end, God will win the war.  He is our hope and healing.  Have faith in Him.