Touchstones

I wrote a piece on touchstones in our lives a couple of years ago.  I am revamping the old post; although it was outdated, I still think it's important because there is something to be said for the touchstones in our lives.   I have a new person in my life; I'd dare say, he's a touchstone as I can reach out to him.  Like my other touchstones, he knows the secrets, where the skeletons are buried, and the "real" me, both inside and out.  To all my touchstones, I thank you.  You are the heart of a friend; someone who is always there and loves me no matter what.
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It's been a long time since I've posted. More than 2 years. I'm changing -- been doing some soul-searching. You see, after my mother passed away, so did a part of me. My mother was my "touchstone". If you don't know what I mean, watch "Terms of Endearment" - right before Emma dies. Better yet, I'll save you some time and tears. A touchstone refers to a person who knows everything about you...where you came from, your history, and memories you've shared. It's someone who knows everything about you. I used to be funny and have lots to say on a variety of different topics. If you don't believe me, just ask my family and friends. I was incredibly entertaining! Somehow, I've become quieter and introspective. But there are a few people who can bring out the "old" me...my best friend, my son and this new man in my life.

My best friend has been there for the past 48 years. You want to talk history -- she knows where all the skeletons are -- starting from pre-school (if you can have skeletons in pre-school...) We might not see each other except once a year but when we get together, we sit for hours in the coffee shop and laugh non-stop. It's like a one-upmanship (if there is such a word); and frankly, I couldn't tell you who does a better job. I just know, we are both at our comedic best. Whether it's fashion, TV shows or family -- no matter how sacred it is (excluding religion which is definitely a no-no), it's up for grabs.

As for my son, he's definitely shares his grandmother's sense of humor! And boy, do we let the banter fly. We're both ADHD (undiagnosed) but you can tell by our disjointed conversations that it's there -- and the apple certainly doesn't fall far from the tree! Our talk seems to happen in parallel universes, and yet, we both know what the other is saying. He makes me laugh until I cry. (Frankly, this can be a bit disconcerting, particularly when I'm driving). This, from the boy who used to just make me cry!!

I have added a new touchstone to my life.  It is a gentleman that I have gotten to know over the past couple of months.  We tell each other everything.  He knows me inside and out; not just from our conversations but from my writings.  Yes, he is one of the few people who actually reads my blogs -- all of them.  I give him credit for having the willingness and wherewithal to actually sit down and read them.  More importantly, he understands who I am from them. 
 
As for my friends and myself, we live in different parts of the world.  Yes, it's still the U.S. but Las Vegas is about as far away from the Midwest as you can get on both a social and geographical scale.   My BFF (best female friend) and my BMF (best male friend) have never met. Yet, I suspect that aside from having a love for me, they would find some commonalities.  They both are extremely funny, are family oriented and I can call them day or night.  Truly, rare in today's society. 

As for my son, social mores just aren't his thing -- never have been. Even though we live in a society aka Las Vegas, where everyone marches to the beat of a different drum, his beat is just beyond anything I've experienced. If I said he was Bohemian, that would be an understatement.   He's not afraid to make social commentary and does so with such a bite that you'd swear you were missing a part of you.  Go ahead, turn around and look.    To quote him, "everyone wants to conform to non-conformity".  How does he come up with this stuff? More power to him -- I think it's brilliant! He reminds me of ...well, me (but with much more ferocity due to the testosterone levels coursing through his body) -- and if he wanted to, I swear he could do stand-up. His rants (and they are definitely rants) are crazy, fun, spontaneous and most of all, remind me of  one of the most important touchstones in my life; my mother. She would be proud of his outspokenness and quick wit!

You know, my mom used to say "when you're dead, you're dead".  With all due respect mom, I disagree.  You may be gone physically but you continue to live on through the part that you touched...that touchstone that never dies. 

So, who's the touchstone in your life?  A friend?  A parent?  Your partner?  Perhaps you have more than one... I do.  Each one has an important place in my life.  I wouldn't want to replace any of them.  They keep me real; they keep me sane; they are there for me to reach out to -- to hold, to talk with, to give me strength on bad days, to wipe my tears but most of all, to laugh.  They are the people who have made a real difference in my life and  make me realize how lucky I am to have them as the building blocks of my life.  They are gifts from God; my very own touchstones.