Last night I did something I had dreamt of for an incredibly long time....I submitted a manuscript for a book I wrote to my publisher. What a thrill and yet, when I pushed the "send" button on my e-mail, all I wanted to do was sleep. It was only 9:00 PM, and yet, I was exhausted.
I am, living the dream. It is the culmination of doing what I believe is God's will. Yet in the process, has lifted the cover off many taboo subjects and I'm not sure how my family and friends will react. I'm scared and yet, in my mind it is a "must do".
Reading and re-reading the manuscript to make sure it was as perfect as I could make it before submitting it was exhausting. The original draft took a week -- not terribly long as I'd had most of the book in my head. I waited a month, then read it again. I then passed it to two trusted people to edit. From there, I re-read it three times for final editing. That was the most difficult part, as it was reliving my experiences over and over again. It is hard to face the past. And yet, I know in my heart that the past does not predict the outcome of one's future. Far from it. This is a story of hope. A tale of God's love. How we can be guided by His presence in our lives, even when we can't feel it or see it. We just have to believe it and have faith.
As I read my manuscript, I couldn't believe what I had written. Some things I had forgotten about; even from the rough draft to the editing process. How is that possible within a month or two? Yet, I know with God, all things are possible. You see, I believe the Holy Spirit guides my writing. He is there, whispering in my ear and telling me what to say. He is my editor -- the Editor. Without Him, I would not possess this gift that He has given me; the ability to express myself on paper.
And so, I hope this book will be read with the purpose for which it is intended . I want people to know that God is with Us -- Emmanuel. He is our healer-- Jehovah-Raha . He is our provider -- Johovah-Jireh. He is the Word. He is the Alpha and Omega -- our everything from beginning to end. And so, it was and is my intent to not just be a witness to God's power but to allow others to feel His hand on them. I pray that He blesses this project -- not for financial gain but to further His kingdom.
This book is not about me but about glorifying Him. I want others to know that God is real, that He is present and He loves us even more than we can imagine. I also want others to understand that He ultimately guides our path. So, I have aptly named the book, "Not My Own". I don't believe we are our own -- nor should we be. He is our source and strength. And we should act in accordance with His will, despite the fact that we can indeed, live by our own will.
I don't have the answers as to why bad things happen to people who don't deserve it. I only know that sometimes they do. But, don't make the mistake of blaming God. He doesn't promise a perfect life but He does promise to walk with us throughout life's journeys. The lesson of this story is to discern His will for your life. In order to do so, we need to read His holy words; do your actions align with His word or not? If they don't then rethink what you are doing. If you are unable to discern His will then talk with other Christians; God can use them to help us discern His will when we are too blind or stubborn to see what He wants for our life. Often, your Christian friends can help you with the discernment process. They can ask you the hard questions and get to the heart of the matter. Finally, always remember that God loves you -- more than you can imagine. It is with that intent that I hope you will read, "Not My Own." For we truly aren't our own -- we're His. Knowing that offers comfort, peace and a sense of Truth. It is where we ultimately belong -- in His loving arms.
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