Well, it’s
over; one of the biggest holidays of the year, and I seem to have come out on
the other side. I think the fear of
having to change our routine is greater than actually doing it. It is much like having faith in God and doing
things He wants us to by trusting Him and stepping out in faith. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths
straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
I’m not going
to lie; Christmas was far different than the “usual” tradition. One son travelled cross-country with his
father to see his sisters, while the other son stayed with me. Although my older son protests and says he
didn’t stay here so I wouldn’t be alone, I know better. His is a heart that is greater than most and
I know he is grateful that I continue to provide a home for him, even though he
is old enough to live on his own. He
has had a harder life than the other children in terms of his relationship with
his father. I can’t say why that is; I
only know that they have a broken relationship and one that he continues to
heal from. In the meantime, I have chosen to pick up the
broken pieces and feed him both physically and spiritually. He has made enormous strides in the last six
months and I couldn’t be more proud. I pray he sees the light of Christ in me, and
that one day, he will be healed completely. “The
words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
Christmas Eve
was incredibly low key. Rather than the
usual flurry of cooking and opening of presents, we experienced a difference
kind of presence; the presence of God in our lives. Early in the day, I spoke with relatives; my
daughters and grandchildren (not sure where the son-in-laws were), my ex-husband
and youngest son via FaceTime, my uncle and aunt in Illinois and my other uncle
and aunt in Washington, DC and my sister and her family in Missouri. For those calls we just talked, as FaceTime is
just too new-fangled for them. It was nice to catch up with everyone. My son and I spent time together; writing in
tangent and doing our grocery shopping.
Yes, the cupboards were quite bare; not because I didn’t have money but
rather, we just weren’t sure WHAT we wanted to do about dinner. We decided on an incredibly low key dinner of
sandwiches; our “new” normal. We went to the store, purchasing only what we
needed for the next couple of days. I also
chose a brisket for Christmas day, since I could throw it in the crock pot and
it’s not quite the same as an “ordinary” roast. We planned to go to the 11 PM Christmas Eve service,
so he decided to take a nap after dinner.
As the evening wore on, I began to grow tired. I was watching television, which will put me
to sleep every time. At 8:30, I knew my
choices for church were getting slim; 9 PM or 11 PM services. I didn’t think I would last until 11 PM and
so, I got dressed to go to the 9 PM service.
I called out to my son but his voice told me he’d been asleep. I decided to go to church alone; another “new”
normal.
The church
service was not as jam-packed as the 7 PM services were last year. I was
thankful. Due to my last-minute change
of plans, I was worried I would have to stand for an hour. I didn’t.
The service was beautiful. I saw
a lot of familiar faces; my pastors and friends from church but most
importantly, the face of Christ. “For
God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of
darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of
the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6.
Some folks I
hadn’t seen in a long time, since we attend different services on Sunday and so
afterwards, I stayed to visit. It was
nearly time for the next service by the time I left the church. I had gotten a second wind and considered
staying for it but decided to go home in case my son was awake; he was. He was also a little angry I hadn’t taken him
to church with me. I explained that he was
asleep. He is not a church-goer per se
and again, I knew his motivation for going was so I wouldn’t be alone. Sweet but as I have found out so often in this last year, alone is not necessarily a bad thing.
When I got
home, we decided to have a Christmas drink.
After all, the holiday was half over and I was surviving. I felt a “proverbial” toast was in
order. I had bought some Kahlua earlier
in the day and so we had a couple of drinks; Kahlua and half and half. I’m not a drinker but these tasted good! Wine or beer is my usual fare. Tonight, I chose to try something completely
different – again, a “new” normal. I
was certain these weren’t particularly low calorie but decided since it was
Christmas and I only drink on rare occasions, that I would take the calorie
hit. My son and I had our drinks, ate popcorn and watched
“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”; a far better movie than “A Christmas
Story,” in my humble opinion. I fell
asleep on the couch, which is not unusual for me, especially when watching
television past midnight. I woke up
around 2 AM and moved upstairs to my room.
My son had already turned off the TV and gone to bed long before
me. Christmas Eve was over – I had
definitely survived and actually thrived. “New” normal 1 – tradition 0.
Christmas
day arrived without much fanfare. I woke
up early only to find my phone was dead, as was my charger. Vowing to stay off the computer for the
majority of the day, I did post a Facebook message wishing everyone a Merry
Christmas and explaining why they wouldn’t get a Christmas morning phone
call. I usually call all my friends,
near and far to wish them a Merry Christmas. God was determined to "rock my world." I put the
brisket in the crockpot early in the day; again, a “new normal. I knew I was going to a friend’s house in
the afternoon and wanted dinner ready by the time I got back. This too, was “new”. I wasn’t sure if my oldest was going out of
town until the last minute, so I made plans to meet up with a friend and her
family. I went to her house around two in
the afternoon and had a warm bowl of the most fabulous split pea soup. Afterwards, we played a game I’d never played
before. My son chose not to come with me. He wanted to write; his new passion. So, I spent a few hours with my friend’s
family. Again “new” but definitely, a fabulous
“normal”.
I came home
but was not hungry; neither was my son. We spent more time together, talking and
laughing until it was dinner time – for us, 9 PM. We had plans to see a movie but decided to put
that off until today. Opening day crowds
make me a little crazy. We decided to go
see “Walter Mitty” – a suggestion from a friend but also a movie we have both
been wanting to see. I think we are up
for one more “adventure.”
Last night,
I didn’t fall asleep in front of the TV.
I went to bed early; 10 PM. I
fully expected to sleep but couldn’t. I
listened to music and an audio of the Bible, read and still couldn’t
sleep. I was mulling over the last 48
hours. You see, it was very much like
in the Dr. Seuss book, “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas”. Christmas came without fanfare, it came without
presents – this year, Christmas -- our Christmas --didn’t come from a store. And yes, it meant a whole lot more. This year, we spent the holidays enjoying the
presence of the One who is greater than us. “…the one who is in you is
greater than the one who is in the world.” 1 John
4:4 We didn’t have presents other than
the gifts He gives; family, friendship and love –things you can’t buy in a
store; priceless gifts.
Yes, I not
only survived the “new” normal, I relished it. I don’t know that every Christmas will be
like this as we continue to carve out new traditions but it worked for us this
year. And so, we are back to a “normal”
day. Waking up early, writing, going to see a movie with my son. THIS is my “new” normal. It is my “new” life and for me, each day is a
gift, in and of itself; one that I treasure each and every day.
“You have made known to me the paths
of life; you will fill me with joy
in your presence.” Acts 2:28
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