The Book

This winter break has been an odyssey for me.  I didn't travel anywhere physical but I am on a journey.  You see, I am walking through the Rolodex of my mind to write my book.  It is a personal story about faith.  How does one go through so many things in life only to come out on the "other" side and not just find God but to realize He was there the entire time?  He was in the midst and using all this adversity in order to bring glory to Him!

For those who doubt this truth, let's look at the crucifixion itself.  Truly, not a way anyone would choose to die.  And yet, despite this greatest adversity, God was there.  He was in the midst.  If not, why would Jesus be talking with Him?  About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).  Matthew 27:46  (NIV)  Yes, at times Christ felt his Father had abandoned Him but His last words indicate that God, His Father had not. Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.  John 19:30 (NIV)   Yes, God's great plan was carried out.   Not in a manner one would expect but as God knew it would.  As even Jesus knew it would.  For His Godly self knew what He was about to undertake whereas his human side was having some very real reservations.  Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”  Matthew 26:39 (NIV)  He understood and was willing to do what many of us aren't; submit to God's perfect will.

So too, God has a plan and purpose for our lives.  I frequently quote Jeremiah 29:11.  It is one of my "go to" verses because it's Truth rings loudly in my head.  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (NIV)

I don't think the story I tell in my book is particularly unique.  People throughout the ages have gone through adversity.  However, how did I go from having a mediocre existence to one that embraces life fully and lives with joy?  How did I become a person who gives God all the glory and praises Him daily?  Now THAT is a story!

It's not about me -- it's about Him.  How He changed me from the inside out.  I am forever a work in progress.  I am healing still, and yet, I see where I have come in just a short year.  Stronger, happier than I've ever been, grateful and ever-seeking His will for my life. He is my inspiration and passion.  It is on His pages that I write this book and pray that it will be forever etched in the hearts of the people who read it; people who God has chosen Himself.

And so, as I reach back into the recesses of my mind and shine the light of Christ in the dark corners, I am not just dusting off these skeletons and placing them back on their shelves;  no, I am throwing them away!  For these skeletons in my closet have forever haunted me.  It is the last time I am going to make this journey, save if God asks me to use my life story to further His kingdom. 

Writing is difficult.  It is painful.  It is exhausting.  It is also cathartic.  It is what I need to move forward.  This journey began with e-mails to friends, turned into a blog, and now, a book.  It is a plan that has been in the works since before I was born.  God's providential hand has proven its existence to me once again.  For me, writing is healing.  It takes me back to a place I don't wish to go but I use that as my springboard to move forward.   I am on a trajectory I could've never imagined or planned for - He is in the midst.  I am living out my plan and purpose for my life -- God's will.   For that, I am ever grateful.