I saw a post today reminding me of this quote. I am all too familiar with it because a poster of it used to hang in my classroom for the special needs students that I was teaching. I would also take the time to point it out to these kiddos because let's face it; a lot of times, no one has ever taken the time to tell them that they can do things. They are smart and capable but sometimes, they need to compensate for their shortfalls. And let's face it...that is something we all struggle with.
So, what is my shortfall of late? Why am I still struggling a month after Christmas to get back on my fitness plan? I could blame my boyfriend, my friends, parties, et cetera but let's face it. The blame falls squarely on me. That's right...you are (metaphorically speaking) looking at the real problem....me!
Of all the things I am able to do, why does weight continue to be a source of struggle? Is it lack of character? Commitment? Knowledge? Frankly, I have more knowledge in my little finger about weight loss than most people. Commitment? Check. Character? Likewise. So, what's the problem?
In Oola, they tell us, if the "why" isn't strong enough, then change the why. I made my why a commitment to health and longer living. But if I'm honest, I'm not going to do this to get healthy unless I have tubes running in and out of my body and there is something serious at stake...like my life. I don't think I'd do this even if I needed a knee or hip transplant. Please don't judge me because I'm being brutally honest here, which is hard! I also said I wanted to be around for my grandkids wedding. Again, another lofty goal...and too far off in the future.
So now, I need to find a better "why". Why do I want this more than anything? I think it is the how and why of who I am. The truth is, I have a fear of success. Fear -- Oola blocker #1. Why would I fear this? Because if I'm honest (again), I will realize that when I do this, I am in for a shocking transformation; something I'm not sure I'm prepared for. Just like in anything we do in order to be successful, I have to get my head in the game. I have to believe I can do this. The last time I lost weight, I had men ogling me...yes, therein lies the truth...and that scares me. I am terrified of that place. Why? Because of my history. Because as one who has been abused, being looked at by the opposite sex is frightening unless it is on your terms. It is exceedingly complicated and far more TMI than you are prepared for, but it's the truth.
Losing weight is doable -- keeping it off is doable. But being attractive in the process? That is a hard one to swallow. I never believed I was attractive but the truth is, many have expressed that I am; even more have done so when I am at my thinnest. They have made unwanted comments about anything from the size of my breasts to having a hook up. Yes, I am middle aged and yet, I don't look like I am turning 56. I could pass for a late-40-something.
So, how do I get past this? First of all, I need to recognize my fear and move past it. I need to have my Oola Ready-Set-Go script. Ready: I'm scared; scared of staying the same -- scared of looking different. Set: If I don't move past it, I will always be the same weight and yo-yo diet forever.
Go: Just do it already! Your life is completely different. You have overcome much and this is the last of it. Face your fears. Besides, is looking bad to the opposite sex all that bad? If someone gets fresh, tell them to get lost! There! I have my script. I am almost ready. Now, I need my why.
Why do I want to lose this weight? Because I will be crazy amazing and the transformation will be unbelievable. Not even I can imagine it but I know it is coming. And so, tomorrow is my day. I am ready. To quote Dr.Seuss...
YES...I...WILL!
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