Ah, reality check! Last week-end, I began this blog but simply ran out of time. I kept thinking I would get back to it but "life happens". And so, albeit late, I am giving you an update on my progress. With that in mind, these past two weeks found me taking to heart something that a friend told me - a balance between mind, body and spirit. He makes time to workout and God bless him, he can function on four hours of sleep. I, on the other hand, do not set my alarm on the week-ends and sleep twelve hours. Now, he doesn't work with children or have a second job. Perhaps that's the difference. Maybe we're just wired differently. Or maybe, because he's been working out his entire adult life, he just no longer needs a lot of sleep because his body is functioning at maximum efficiency.
I must confess, I cannot believe that I have a friend -- ok, boyfriend-- who is so darned physically fit. I am in awe of a sixty year old man who has incredible biceps and lean muscle mass. Yes, not only is he attractive physically but also, offers words of encouragement. He wants me to love myself enough to get into shape for me. So, the truth is, that is what I'm doing. I'm not doing this for anyone but me. But, I have struggled in the past and this week was no exception.
Last week, I said that I wanted to work out seven days. I was able to do four. I suppose if I got up at 4:00 AM, I could make it happen. The truth is, right now I'm not so inspired. I am not in that place yet; the place where exercise is a priority. I look at my boyfriend and the great shape he is in. I know that in order to keep up with him, I will need to be in better shape. He doesn't ask me to do it and yet, I find myself feeling inferior. I suppose that is the downside to dating someone who is more attractive to you than you think you are -- and I say that with some intentionality because dating this man does trigger old insecurities about my own physical appearance. Nothing he says or does; this is all on me.
Additionally, as I have said before, this is, a mental game and my personal life won on many levels this week. I won't bore you with the details but suffice it to say, when you are mentally and physically exhausted, it takes a toll. This week, I started Monday feeling like I do on a Friday. I had little, if any reserves, and found myself getting slammed--in a metaphorical sense --by life. I am making it through but it has left me shaken and bruised. It is solely my faith in God, prayers and the help of friends that has kept me glued together.
Last week, my eating was amazing. This week, not so much. I found myself eating fast food not once but twice this week! Note the word "found" -- the connotation is I had no control. Wrong! However, it was one of those days; horrific day, nothing in sight to eat save that one fast food joint and hunger. A bad combination, to say the least! About 30 minutes later, I regretted that decision on many levels -- mostly because I was physically ill as a result of throwing crappy tacos on a stomach that had been in pain for the last few days. I fought nausea all afternoon. Not good but also, made me realize that next time, I need to take 10 extra minutes and drive to find a more suitable place to eat instead of taking the "easy" way out.
And so, my past two weeks were not exceptional. I have struggled. Last week was much better. But I was actively working on my weight loss. This week, I was working on pure survival. This week-end, the game plan is to get some rest and resume a much more normal life -- which includes my Oola plan and focusing on fitness. I think if this blog tells me (and you) anything it's that life can derail us big-time. It is not an excuse for giving up but rather, an impetus for moving forward. I did not accomplish what I wanted and yet, it is not an excuse to waiver and say, "oh what the heck!" and give up. It also shows me that life is never going to be perfect. And I have to learn how to rise above that, keep my emotions in check unless I am using them to drive me in a positive, rather than a negative direction. I am continuing to work toward feeling better--yes, even looking better -- but most of all, putting the mind-body-spirit into a place God intended; connected and fully enjoined with Him. In that way, we can truly be all He intended.
22 But the Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 humility, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23 Good News Translation (GNT)
Ok this song really has little to do with my blog other than I just love it! Thank you Gloria Estefan for making music that makes me want to move!!
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