Self-care. I frequently write on my student's Individual Education Plans how they will manage self-care in the future. But what am I doing about my own self-care?
On airplanes, as you are being shown the oxygen masks, the flight crew makes certain that you understand to take care of yourself first before helping your children. It is the cardinal rule in order for both of you to survive. How come we are able to do this on an airplane in a life-or-death situation, but not in the day-to-day?
After a few intense days, I realize that although I work in the day-to-day and function in the day-to-day, I am completely empty. All my reserves have been drained. There hadn't been a lot to begin with but I managed. Yes, that is the extent of my caring for myself -- managing the situation. That is not a very positive image or statement, is it? Managing implies that, you are present but not in any particular capacity other than to just get through the day. At least, that's the connotation I get when I read that statement. And although I am able to do a lot, I can't do it all. Especially when my energy sources are depleted.
The point of this blog is to reflect on how I can become whole again; healthy. I have always been there for others and in fact, probably even prided myself on it a little. But the truth is, there is nothing to be proud of --- because, as someone so eloquently pointed out to me -- Jesus in the Bible states, love your neighbor as you love yourself. If you are not putting yourself first, you are probably not taking care of yourself. You don't love yourself enough to do it. So, how can you love others if you don't even know how it feels to be loved yourself?
As I write this blog it feels selfish. And yet, our emotions should not dictate who we are; rather, we should rely on God's Word to help us through difficult times and to make sure our actions line up with our thoughts, words and deeds. So here it is. Putting yourself first is not selfish. There, I said it. Now, I have to read it and believe it. Putting yourself first is not selfish...putting yourself first is not selfish...putting yourself first is NOT selfish. Putting yourself first IS necessary. Ah, there we go. Something I can understand. It's a necessity of life. Not a luxury but a necessity. How is it I have a friend who functions at pretty much 100% capacity? Can sleep for four hours and feel rested? Because he takes care of himself. He puts himself first. He is not selfish -- rather, he is taking care of himself. Huge difference.
Dictionary.com defines selfish as this --devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Now put X marks through that. Let's look at the definition of take care of -- to watch over; be responsible for. So we are watching over or being responsible of ourselves. But why would we want to do that? Maybe it's so we can feel better...so we can serve others. Ah, so we can have a servants heart.
As I read the statement above, I get it. I have been active in my church for some time. Yet, for the past few months, had not had any "real" joy from doing so. I realized that I am tired. Not tired of serving but just physically and mentally worn out. The truth is, God doesn't want us serving from that place. He wants us to serve with a joyful heart. I told my pastor I had been praying about this -- letting go of some of my obligations at church. I don't like to do that, yet it is beginning to feel more and more like another job. I am serving from a place of obligation. It is true, we will at times need to perform duties out of a sense of duty--otherwise, there would be zero volunteers. However, it shouldn't be how you feel all the time. And when you do, it's time to let someone else step in. Each and every time I prayed about letting go of some of my volunteer work, I got the same answer. Serve with a joyful heart. I was no longer serving joyfully. I knew it was time. And so, I am serving in ways that are much more meaningful for me. Paring back. Doing things that I can do from home, rather than from outside my home. I will one day be ready to serve again, but I see this period in my life as a time of rebuilding and getting healthy and whole. There was a period of time when I rebuilt the spiritual from the inside out. Now it's time for the physical and with that, I believe the mental will follow.
I hope you take away a couple of things from this article. You cannot be all things to all people. Pick and choose wisely. You must be completely whole in order to function at more than just "getting by". You need to be at peak performance. Think of yourself as a runner training for the marathon. After all, the journey we are on is not a sprint; rather it is a marathon. I know that sounds cliché but that is the truth. And for that, we need to build endurance. We need to eat right, get enough sleep, exercise and focus on God; for He is our strength in those times when we are weak. Life can wreak havoc on us. It will throw the unimaginable our way. Yet, take heart for God is there. However it does not negate the fact that we need to be present; healthy; whole.
My challenge for this week is for each of us to take time for God, and work toward living a better life, so we can be a better us. A better you. A better me. Our lives will no longer be empty but rather, rich and full. In that way, we can live and love others as we love ourselves.
"Dear Self: I Love You" by Blueprint for Love
http://youtu.be/Bp7HRw2LNJU
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