I've lived in Las Vegas nearly five years. It would seem, God brought me out here to leave my husband. Away from the peering eyes of our family -- in a place where I knew no one, so that I could live out His plan for my life. Change is always hard. Last year, I divorced, moved homes and then, changed job locations and took on a completely different student population. It was not easy. Now, I'm considering making another change; I feel God calling me to a different place. Where that will be, I have no idea.
Following God's Will is not for the faint of heart. It usually involves change and/or sacrifice. Many people doubt the existence of God. And yet, I feel Him in my spirit and have no doubts of His existence. I want to do what's right and pleasing to Him. I also know that when I am in God's Will that life just seems to be easier. This is not to say that there are not any bumps in the road, as life is never trouble-free; but we are better equipped to handle the ups and downs that come our way.
I must say, when I came to Las Vegas, I fully expected to live out my life here. To be married, retire with my spouse and own a pretty nice house; certainly comparable to what I had in the Midwest. Instead, I ended up divorced, living in a rental condo about half the size of my old home and no retirement in sight. Am I disappointed by how things turned out? Well, in my wildest imagination, I did not foresee this. Yet, God did. It was a trial -- a huge one -- and in spite of it, God made everything turn out okay. I have absolutely no complaints. I have more than one job which provides food for our family, gas in my car and I rest easy knowing my bills are paid. I know I have said this in other blogs but I repeat it because I am not only amazed and blessed by God's provision but also that it truly is enough! If He chooses to bless me with more, then that's great. And if He takes away, likewise that is His Will and something I will need to accept. But for now, I am grateful beyond measure for all I have; physical well-being and spiritual peace.
As I begin to try and discern where I need to go, I am looking at places that appeal to me as starting points. Yet ultimately, God will send me where He wants me to go to fulfill His plan for my life. Likewise, I know it will be a place that will secure my ability to write and speak more and expand my ministry beyond this little blog. Although this blog is very much laying the foundation of my ministry, it is by no means the end...rather, it is merely the beginning.
And so, I have various tabs opened on my computer; Reno, Flagstaff, Boulder, Austin, San Antonio, Utah, North Carolina, Oregon -- the possibilities are endless. As immense as the expanse is from the east to the west; so too, are my choices. Truly, it's only one choice that matters; and that will ultimately be God's choice. Yes, I will need to do the legwork. In much the same way as He provides for my family through my working likewise, I need to do the research. I need a place which inspires my writing. Las Vegas is home for now but I don't feel in my spirit that it is my forever home. God is calling me elsewhere.
Change is hard. It involves leaving loved ones and friends behind. It involves a lot of work in terms of reading, writing, consulting with others and doing research. It is time and effort. Yet, it is for my God. He, who gave up His only Son for me...can I really say "no" to Him? And so, although I do not know what the future holds, I do know that God is preparing me for something. Is it a move? Is it staying here and moving a different direction career-wise? I don't know. Time will tell.
So, as I prepare my heart to listen to His leading, I press into Scripture. I pray. I ask my Christian friends for advice. Where do they see me? Is it in Las Vegas where I feel like a fish out of water? Or is it in a place that offers the four seasons that I am so accustomed to and reminds me of my "real" home? Only God knows the answer to that. For now, I am content to wait and listen for the sound of His voice.
"Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10 (NIV)
Link to "Let Them See You" by JJ Weeks Band
http://youtu.be/uOg-1JjAdGk
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