Well, I am back on the wagon again. I have been working toward getting this old body back in shape. I had taken a bit of a hiatus due to just being too darned tired from working summer school. But after looking at my Oola goals the other night, realize I am behind in the area of Fitness.
This goal of fitness has been hanging in front of my like a carrot on a stick since the 1990's. You see, back then, after I had my third child, I was in incredible shape. I played tennis twice a week, exercised twice a day and watched what I ate. However, back then, I was able to eat more carbs -- something that I dearly love. I did, however, have an epiphany at that time. If I exercised enough, I could pretty much eat what I wanted. Then, we moved to Kuwait. It was hot. I didn't have access to tennis courts or home gym equipment. And so the pounds came back; and even more so after the birth of my fourth child. I've been hanging onto this "baby" weight for 19 years. I guess that excuse is wearing pretty thin! Yeah, but it worked for a really long time!
I will say this -- I am physically more fit than I was a year and a half ago; just heavier. How can that be? Well, although I lost a lot of weight between 2012-2013, I never exercised. I hit a plateau and just became frustrated. I was working two jobs and taking 17 hours of graduate coursework that year, and so, I did not have the strength to exercise; I was just plain tired! I was also incredibly stressed physically and emotionally, and had difficulties eating much at all.
Of course, I needed to give that plan up because it was extremely radical. Although I was thinner, I had a lot of skin hanging on my face; according to a trainer, a sign of malnutrition. I believe it. I was eating far too little -- anywhere from 200-500 calories less than I should have been eating. I probably messed up my metabolism as well. As Dr. Phil would say, "How's that working for you?" It wasn't; and it couldn't -- at least not for the long term. I also attracted a lot more attention from men than I was comfortable with. Frankly, when I began to gain weight and my face began to fill out more, I felt better. Even co-workers noted that I looked better. And therein, began the downward spiral of my weight gain.
This spring I actually joined a gym and have been going fairly regularly. Of course, eating the right food is key -- and so, I am working on that. I must confess -- there are many days, being a teacher and losing weight are just not copacetic. Once a month, we have a giant cake for all the birthdays in the building. People are constantly bringing treats in -- and forget about the time leading up to the holidays and teacher appreciation week. However, I am really working on the whole eating right part. Perhaps once and for all, I can hit the magic formula of the correct amount of calories with exercise for my age and time in life?
I will say this; my body image has improved over the past few months. This is something I believe is key to being successful with losing weight and maintaining it. I am less hard on myself. I also realize that I am more than the sum total of the physical -- it's just that Las Vegas is very superficial. Let's put it this way; if Maslow's hierarchy had a category for appearance, looks would be at the bottom in this town. However, if I ever find a man, I want someone who will admire the inner rather than the outer. In truth, although a handsome man will turn my head (that is, if I'm not married), the truth of the matter is that if a guy has a great smile, wrinkles and grey hair, I'm down for that. But they better have a keen sense of humor that can keep up with mine and put God first in their life. For me, that's a sign they have lived -- really lived! In fact, I prefer it to someone who is prettier than me.
And so, I am now looking at the positive things I possess. A great smile (so I've been told), intelligence, spirituality, a good job (always a plus) and a wicked sense of humor. Also, I might point out that not all men like women who are a size 0. And so, even though I am larger than I am comfortable with, I am okay with it. I will never be satisfied about carrying around extra pounds; however, I am not going to feel less about myself if I do not reach the unattainable goal weight on a doctor's chart. That my friends, is very Oola.
So, you see -- I have indeed come a long way these past few months. I have met many people who God put in my path. People who helped me love myself and to really "see" who I am. I am more than the physical; rather I am the spiritual. It is love, understanding and acceptance that actually helps a person realize their self-worth and give them the courage to go after their dreams. Thank you to all who continue on this journey with me. You are my friends, my confidantes, my mentors but most important, the angels God has sent to me. You have blessed me richly and for that, I thank God!
Link to "Say Goodbye" by Mandisa
http://youtu.be/UG6Aa3DIg9Q
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