So here it is; the moment of truth. I promised myself that if I got 4,000-6,000 readers per month on my blog that I would publish my book. I hit that mark. The moment is now.
I'm scared. This book is incredibly revealing and yet, I know that God wants it out there. Why am I so sure? It took me one week to write it. One week! It is 153 pages. My life on paper. My life during periods of self-loathing due to abuse and a crazy marriage lasting over 30 years of my life. Trust me, no one including myself, is left unscathed.
It tells the details that I have not shared on this blog -- and I have shared a LOT! But it goes even deeper. It is a story of hope and healing. Of how God can indeed use all things for His glory. I am praying it will be used to encourage those that are in situations that they deem hopeless. I would also like to springboard into a career that lends itself to life coaching and using my testimony to help others.
I still need a final editing and that's it. My summer school pay will more than cover it. So, why am I scared? I guess because I wonder if it will sell? Is my story compelling enough for people to read? Is it interesting? I also pray that it will, in some way, alleviate the burden of debt with which I've been left. I'd like to know that my debts were paid, rather than discharged; a huge difference in my mind.
I know the people who've pre-read the story have been unable to put it down. I also have one major edit this week, which is to change the ending of the story. You see, my life is now quite different than it was two years ago. I am wholly and completely healed, thanks to God and an amazing counselor. I am doing things I never saw coming. I am in a relationship. I am losing weight and getting healthier (the 'right' way). I am writing nearly full-time in my "spare" time. My blog has reached a readership I never dreamed possible. And despite my continuing financial issues, I am stronger than I ever dreamed possible. I am living my dreams! I have spent the last 3 years fighting my way out to the other side. I am that butterfly emerging from the cocoon.
Never underestimate the power of the human spirit. Everyone has difficulties in life -- it is what makes us stronger. We can either rise to the occasion or crumble in a heap. I prefer the former. Oh yes, I've had many days on my knees, praying for God to help me through the day or even, the hour. However, when we make it through difficult times, somehow any success is just a little sweeter. It gives us something to hold on to -- to remember -- and shows us the promise of better days ahead. The bottom line? Be grateful for every single day, whether it is good or bad and allow yourself to be His handiwork. Imagine yourself as a caterpillar that will one day fight its way from the chrysalis to become a beautiful butterfly, exactly as your Creator intended it.
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