The Real World

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  Proverbs 4:23

Several months ago, I blogged about this verse.  It's a verse I have held close to my heart.  My pastor mentioned it to me nearly a year ago, and it has guided me for a very long time.  I was so hurt by my ex-husband that I could not allow myself to even possibly think of any type of romance.  But God has a way of healing us -- He uses time. 

Who hasn't heard the expression, "time heals all wounds"?  It's true.  It really does.  For a long time, I felt like someone had died -- only I didn't have closure.  I guess in a way, the person who died was me.  I wanted to curl up under a pile of blankets and never get out.  However, I fought my way back.  It was a battle each and every day. Yet, I knew it was necessary.  And I knew it would happen -- one day.

That day came last Wednesday night.  I was on the computer when a pop-up for an online dating site popped up.  It was free to check it out and put up a preliminary photo and profile.  Let me tell you, it's a whole new world out there!  I'm not sure what to make of all this.  On the one hand, I like the conversation and the e-mails.  On the other, it's really awkward and a bit like picking out a puppy from the pound when sifting through the pictures and profiles.  This is not the world I came from -- my last date was in 1979.  It was a time when we met people from the safety of college campuses and where your choice of bars came from who offered twenty-five cent beer night.  Today, Internet reigns supreme.  Welcome to 2014. 

As I go through the profiles, I am amazed by the number of men my age who have never married.  Likewise, I see many looking for "true love".  I am not that optimistic. Perhaps it's because of where I come from -- at best, I am looking for coffee and some conversation.  That much I can handle.  I am not really sure that I am ready to handle the drama that so many relationships seem to be built upon today.  Worse yet, God forbid you find someone you like and you break-up.  It would be like going through a divorce all over again!   Emotionally, I'm so not ready to go down that path again, thank you very much! 

As you can see, I am not taking any of this terribly seriously.  After all, I only paid $23.00 for a month and not expecting to find "true love".  I must confess, I am enjoying the attention, the flirtatiousness and all that goes along with the possibility of a little romance.  And yes, I am starting to feel like a part of the human race -- able to reach out to another person and maybe, just maybe -- trust -- if only a little bit.  Guard your heart...real advice...really good advice for the real world.