For me, this is not a new phenomenon and probably dates back to my mid-30's. However, in my early 50's, I felt great; like I could conquer the world. I still can, but it's sure a lot harder!
In my college years, I wore stilettos. Yes, you name it; ankle straps, Candie's, funky boots -- 3 inch heels were not uncommon. The higher the heel, the sexier the shoe, the better. In my thirties, I traded those in for heels. Now, my shoes are designed for comfort; tennis, Uggs and "berkies". Still somewhat stylish but not what I would love as I longingly gaze at the spiked heels in the department store shoe department. Frankly, if I were to put those on, I would need to lean against a wall for balance. Of course, with a martini in hand, I suppose that could look sexy. I just wouldn't be able to move; I'd find myself in Depends all night. OK, heels are definitely OUT!
Then, there's my body. Oy vay! How it has betrayed me! I am clearly zaftig. The, "It's baby weight" excuse has definitely worn thin, especially since my "baby" is now 21. Where has the time gone? Inside I feel 18, outside I look...well, I definitely look my age.
While we're at it, let's talk hair. What used to be a lustrous nest of curls is now, sadly, kinda straight, kinda curly. It's grayish without any hair color. To leave it natural is easy. However, my Midwest roots tell me to dye it. I think my friend telling me I was "morphing" into my 68 year old boyfriend is what clinched it! Now the problem is, what color? I don't like white hair poking through dark.. I've been blonde, silver, light brown, red and today, I'm going back for something different. I don't know what yet, as I can't decide. But the red, which looked great a few weeks ago, is now fading into a Bozo sort of color. This clearly, is not good; hence why I struggle with the whole dilemma of hair color in the first place. The good news is it's an easy fix. The bad news is it needs to be fixed every.single.month! Today, I go to the hairdresser. New look? Definitely. Flirting with the idea of aubergine hair color. Although I tried to let my hair grow longer, it is not cooperating. It is definitely in an awkward stage, so back to short.
Next up, eyes. I've gotten by with readers as long as I possibly could. I've spent a fortune at the Dollar Store for them the last few years...I probably could've bought a condo for what I've tried to avoid for so long..."real" glasses. However, it is apparent to me that the time has come to admit I need bifocals. To type this blog on the computer is painful due to the number of typos...truth is, I can't see. I am flirting with the idea of colored contact lenses. As the old song says, "don't it make my brown eyes blue?" Probably not, but something to consider.
And colds...let's not forget how long it takes to get over a simple cold. I've had one for three weeks, which turned into a nasty case of mastoiditis. This is something that can get ugly fast. I have been on antibiotics for a week which is doing a number on my GI system. In all, I'm not a happy camper but it is survivable.
So, those are the negatives. Now, let's look at some of the positives. As I mentioned earlier, I don't feel my age. Put me on a dance floor or a racquetball court and I am in my element. (Thankfully, my shoes support not only my feet but my love of these activities). My mind is still crazy active and working with teenagers has definitely kept it sharper than ever. I am one step ahead of those teens, much to their amazement! I am a grandma X 7 and if anyone ever doubts the blessings with that...don't! I love visiting "the grands" more than anything. I'm in a stage in life where the only person I really have to worry about, is myself. I can stay late at work and not rush home to cook dinner. I can enjoy an occasional cocktail without knowing I have small children to take care of when I get home. I can lay in bed all day if I want, go pee without an audience, and drink coffee ad infinitum without screams in the background. As for my body, well there is definitely a positive. Fortunately, I had the good, God sense to never nurse my babies; probably why I'm still carrying "baby" weight. However, the positive to that is my boobs are not dragging to my knees. My bladder may be, but not my boobs.... and in a good bra, they look downright fabulous!
My life is not how I envisioned it at this age. I had hoped to retire but truth is, if working keeps me healthier, why not? I get my senior discount on movie tickets ($4 on Wednesdays, baby) and although still a bit miffed they don't ID me to check if I'm really 50, I certainly rake advantage of the privilege! I do what I want, come and go as I like and no one asks me questions. Truth is, although I have little aches, pains and irritations in life, my 50's have definitely been my most joyful time of life; paling only to raising my own children.
Do I miss being 30? Sometimes. But I love the wisdom that comes with age. I love how life has fallen into place (thank you, God). I love that I can be as young or old as I want. I have more confidence in my 50's than I had in my entire life.
Life is short. Enjoy it. Embrace the good and the bad. Life may not always as we expect it but then again, what ever is? Fifty-seven. Ouch! Hurts to say it. But as my mother used to say, "it sure as hell beats the alternative!" Amen, Mama...Amen!
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