Now What?

confusion

[kənˈfyo͞oZHən]

NOUN

1. lack of understanding; uncertainty.

   "there seems to be some confusion about which system does what" ·

   [more]

   synonyms:

   uncertainty · lack of certainty · unsureness · indecision · hesitation · hesitancy · scepticism · doubt · ignorance · dubiety · incertitude

As I write today, I realize I am at a crossroads.  Either way could go very badly for me.  On the one hand, I could stay in teaching.  I have, of late, been filled with a certain sense of dread and anxiety when I think about returning to the profession.  On the other hand, if I choose to own my own insurance agency (which I am also trained for), I could fail miserably.  Oh, how my mentors would be sorely disappointed to see me in this sort of position.  It is not one that is fun, as it determines my future.  I am also a bit distressed to see the stock market taking such a plunge.  It makes me worry, does this effect the ability to sell insurance?  This, is confusion fueled by my underlying anxiety.

Right now, I am incapable of making any real meaningful decisions.  And so, I have left this in God's hands; something I forget quite often.  I lift my voice to God and ask that he take the driver's seat.  You see, confusion does not come from God ... it comes from the world.  In these times, when life seems scary and confusing, lift your voice to Him.  Pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  "Ask and it will be given..."  Maybe not how we expect it to be given but our prayers will certainly be answered.

You see, too often we are impatient...we try to take matters into our own hands.  That, is a sure recipe for disaster.  So these days, I have the time to slow down.  To listen to God.  Hear His voice.  What is it He wants me to know?  "Be still and know that I am God..."

At the end of the day, I realize that everyday problems have little meaning.  I am looking for my purpose in this life.  Where does God want me?  Where can I be of service?  What am I able to do that will help others?  We are the body of Christ...quite literally.  In this world, we are the hands that help, the voice that speaks, the eyes that see, the feet that get us where we need to go...We are His ambassadors.  It is not a job I take lightly, and neither should you.

And so, as I prepare for another day walking with Him, I meditate on this verse:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to  him, and he will make our paths straight.   Proverbs 3: 5-6

When you allow Him to be in control, all confusion and anxiety cease to exist.