A Mile in my Shoes

One Christmas break, I wrote a book.   I felt a strong leading by the Holy Spirit that I needed to be writing and speaking.  Truth is, I never got very far.  I never had the money to publish my book and never knew if it would serve anyone or even be remotely interesting.  Yesterday, I got my answer.

I was talking to our students -- our hardest class in fact -- about their grades and in the process, shared just a bit of what I had gone through these last five years.  Initially, they were laughing at the fact I went back to school so late in life.  They continued to laugh when I said I was 50-something when I got divorced.  "Why did you say 50-something?" someone shouted.  "Okay -- 53..."  I told them to just listen for a moment...they stopped laughing when I told them my circumstances and how no one -- NO ONE -- could take away my education.  At this point, someone shouted, "Preach!"  I responded, "you got it, bro!"

 I continued.  " You can lose a job...you can lose money but you will always have your degree.  You never know what circumstances life will deal you."  Someone shouted, "Where do you think you would have been without your degree?" to which I replied, "on the streets."   And so with that, they stood they up -- they applauded -- they whistled.  And I knew -- I knew at that moment, God put me here for exactly what I knew I was here to do...inspire others.

It has been my dream for years, and yet, that one moment made me realize, I had in me exactly what it took to make others sit up and listen.  Is it students?  Is it adults? Is it those in dire circumstances who are at their last straw?  I don't know.  What I do know is that God has put that calling in my heart for the last few years.  The confirmation has been slow in coming but yesterday, it was there.

Our toughest class, sat up and took notice.  One student who I had been nagging to turn in work all quarter, turned it in at the end of class.   Unfortunately, he still didn't pass but he tried.  He now understands the difference between having a degree and not having one, as do many others.  As I recounted my story, I had difficulty looking at the kids.  I wasn't sure if they were listening or making fun of me.  A little of both.

Their image of white privilege -- which I have heard often -- has been shattered.  Who I am today is not the person I was five years ago.  When you are digging yourself out of a $150,000 hole, suddenly the playing field is level.  The truth is -- even though I have that debt, I have hope.  I am working toward paying it off and doing the best I can.  I no longer fear my future because I saw the power of the Holy Spirit in that room yesterday.  I felt it.  And I know those kids felt it.

I am often judged by others and that's okay.  Don't judge too harshly, because until you walk a mile in my shoes, you will not understand who I am.  I am strong, I am courageous and I teach others.  I live by faith in one who is greater than I.  I am a sojourner passing through this life.