In one week, the life my husband and I once knew, changed forever. On Friday, May 11, I was home to help him try to find more assistance for his mother. As it turns out, he needed the assistance.
When he woke up, I was on the phone on our patio. I came inside about a half hour later to find him sitting on the couch. "Did you have coffee?" No answer. "I'll make you some," I said. Still no response. I came over to the couch and notice he had a blank stare. "Frank, are you okay?" No answer. "What's your birthday?" I asked. "I don't know," was his reply. "What's your mother's name?" "Gladys." That was correct. "What's your brother's name?" He couldn't find the answer. Trying not to completely panic, I said, "You're going to the ER." He balked. I said, "Look, you are going. Go get dressed." He still balked but went to shave. In the meantime, I called his doctor who also advised me to take him to the ER. Waiting for his shaving to be finished, I said, "C'mon, let's go!" I tried not to let the urgency in my voice show.
Once at the ER, he was immediately taken back. He was given an MRI, CAT scan, extensive blood work and urinalysis. Nothing. Referral to a neurologist. The only thing he had struggled with was an upper respiratory infection before this began. He'd had a breathing treatment at his doctor's office the week before, given a prescription for a Z-pack, and been to the endocrinologist. He was given an EEG and diagnosed with epilepsy. He was given a prescription and sent home.
Mother's Day evening, we returned to the hospital. It appeared he was having seizure-nap-seizure-nap all.day.long. He was completely bedridden, combative and did not know me or that he was in the hospital. He had a more extensive EEG, 4 hours -- looking for something called staticus epileticus. The problem with the EEG, is you have to be actively having seizures to see them. They were a day late and a dollar short. I suspect if he'd been tested the day before, that would have been his diagnosis. For now, I give him medication to stop seizures when I notice any mental status changes and his regular medication to prevent them. It takes a good 2 weeks or more for the medication to take full effect. For now, I prefer to keep him out of the hospital particularly with the super-bugs that now seem to be even more dangerous than what he has.
In the meantime, I am learning many things about learning to live with epilepsy. For one, the type of epilepsy he has gives him stroke-like symptoms. Although they pass after roughly 24 hours (and now, even faster since I give him a preventative dose of medication), it is hard to listen to him rant and rave. He becomes confused and has hallucinations. He does not know who I am. He is unaware of his surroundings. Right now, he needs a full-time sitter.
However, if you look on the epilepsy website, there are many types of seizures. I had no idea. Although I have worked with students who have had absent, petit mal and grand mal seizures, I never knew that there was a type of seizure that could impair someone so quickly and severely. I am learning. I am also learning things such as, what medication does he take? When? Is he taking it? Keeping him well-hydrated. Not to engage in conversation other than short answers when he is confused -- it just ends up frustrating both of us. It is a tough hand to be dealt but I also know it could be so much worse.
He is still the man I know and love; and after a few months on medication, he should be (mostly) fine. It is not how I envisioned life but then again, none of us can predict what the future holds. For now, live life to the fullest. It can change in a heartbeat. Although I have known this for some time, to live this is quite a different reality. It is the new normal. It is our life.
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