June 10. Wedding Day. An event planned at a lovely venue called Sunset Gardens. An intimate ceremony with a Gatsby-esque feel for the reception. Then, the unthinkable happens. My fiance becomes ill overnight. Suddenly, our world is turned upside down. Now what?
I have to be honest...I struggled with the decision to marry an older man for precisely this reason. I wanted to be a wife and not a caretaker. However, as I watched this man struggle in the hospital, I knew I was ready to commit. Then, reality set in...
How could I handle this man whose mental status changed? Although his condition is not life-threatening, he was confused and combative. He was not the man I knew.
Then, after his second hospitalization in 4 days, I began to think of the reality of hospital bills. I had to wonder what would our (future) finances look like? Let's face it, I'm not flush and neither is he. We both work -- him, after having been "retired" for 10 years and for no other reason but because the money ran out when his last wife had mounting hospital bills and no insurance combined with living in California long after his "retirement." And me? Well, I'm pretty sure everyone knows my story.
Yet, we met two years ago and fell in love. He, faster than myself -- but I did, nonetheless. And then, I began to think of who would take care of him? I texted family but got no response to my statement of "I need to get back to work" and "I have no more sick time." I could have left at that point...really I could have -- and yet, when I looked in his eyes, I couldn't. I was not raised to leave someone you love in a nursing home or rehab facility -- at least, not unless they were completely unable to care for themselves, which is not the case here. However, right now he does need a full-time caregiver to keep an eye on him.
And so, I decided on Thursday, after much prayer, I would marry him. I would love him and care for him -- same as I had planned to do on June 10. On Friday, we went on a "little adventure" as he likes to call them. We went to the JP on Las Vegas Boulevard and got married.
He wore wrinkled pants and a stained polo shirt. I wore a dress hanging in my closet, threw on a headband, a little makeup and my "birkies." An hour of standing in line at the courthouse for our marriage certificate (which we applied for a month ago) and 2 1/2 minutes before a JP -- done! We are now man and wife.
So, as you can see...this was not the wedding I had planned for; rather, it was the wedding God intended for us. It was very low key and simple. We said a beautiful prayer before going into the chambers. When he is better, we will renew our vows before our friends and have a reception. For now, lunch at the local pub sufficed.
I am thankful he made it through the day without incident, as it was his first full day up -- 3 hours, which I know took a toll. I am thankful that God was present -- and trust me, I felt His presence, even in the chambers of a courthouse. I am thankful for family that was present to help me get through the day. Most of all, I am thankful for this amazing, generous man. Although he is ill now, I trust that God will bring us through it. I have taken my vows -- in sickness and in health -- 'til death do us part.
And so, today I write...as I have much on my heart. He is asleep and resting peacefully. This is life. It is about love and caring for one another. Most of all, forget about your plans because the truth of it is that it is -- sometimes God's plans are completely different than yours. I only know this; having spent the last week in a whirlwind, that it's not up to us...Rather, it's all in God's timing.
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