How many times have you read the Bible...really read it? Today, I was reading a devotional -- My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers -- and it's the old school version. A little tough to read because I believe it is written using the King James Version of the Bible. In any case, I'm reading today's devotional and I come across Luke 6:20. I've read that verse countless times, and yet, never really understood it whether in King James, the Message or NIV translations. Well, today I.got.it.
You see, life has a series of turning points. It's never perfect, yet God is always there. He is calling to us. Yet, many choose to ignore his call. They don't step up to the plate. The last six months or so, my husband and I have spent Sundays reading the Bible. Discussing it. We haven't gone to church -- I'm not sure why -- I said something about, everyone there is old. Helllloooooo? They're my age or older. I don't feel my age. Yet, I'm the demographic. However, for several weeks, I've felt a calling to go back. I suggested it to my husband but he wanted to stay home. Last night, he agreed it's time to return. So we had a season where we didn't worship God in a traditional manner but in our own way.
Anyhow, as I was reading this devotional a light bulb went off. In the reading, Chambers writes, "As long as we have a self-righteous, conceited notion that we can carry out our Lord's teaching, God will allow us to go on until we break our ignorance over some obstacle, then we are willing to come to Him as paupers and receive from Him. "Blessed are the paupers in spirit," that is the first principle in the Kingdom of God. The bedrock in Jesus Christ's kingdom is poverty, not possession; not decisions for Jesus Christ but a sense of absolute futility ---I cannot begin to do it. Then Jesus says -- Blessed are you. That is the entrance..."
In other words, we have to surrender to God. Be absolutely broken and say, "Enough!" Trust in Him fully. The paupers in spirit are the ones who are broken. Have you ever been there? I know I have, and it's not fun. It's not easy. Yet, during that period, I relied solely on God. He was my Rock and Redeemer. When I didn't have money, somehow through my faith in him, something would happen and I had what I needed. Whether it was money for a new tire, food or the roof over my head. God always, ALWAYS provided for me. It was not an easy time, but it was a turning point in my faith.
Life is better now. I am grateful for every single day. Some days I find myself crying because life is so different from 5 years ago. It is good. Is it perfect? No. But, it is good. Through the tears, I can clearly see all the times God was walking with me. He has been by my side my entire life. I just never saw it as clearly as during that period when I found myself relying on His provision.
I pray I never have to go through another period like that but if I do, I know God will be right beside me -- holding me up. He will send angels to me who will pray and build me up when I am too weak to do it myself. For those who are struggling today, let this be your encouragement. God is there and He loves you. He will never fail you. Trust. Love completely. Be grateful (even for the bad things in your life) for this is your will in Christ Jesus. And have faith.
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