Yesterday my heart was broken. Yes, it was a bad break-up...nothing that could, in my estimation, save the relationship. It is the most serious relationship I've been in since I was married. I didn't really want to be in a deep relationship because I know all too well, the sting of a bad outcome. It hurts and it's hard to get over. But, I followed my friends' advice and my heart and went for it.
There was a huge learning curve on my part, since I'd never really been in a "normal" relationship. My marriage was extremely dysfunctional. I knew it would be difficult and I warned the gentleman that he was going to have to be patient -- very patient, since for all intents and purposes, I was learning how to love someone.
I know that sounds strange, since I grew up loving my family and children. However, I never had a relationship modeled by my parents. Nor did I have a "normal" marriage. And so, with all the parameters in place, our relationship grew. It grew quicker than I anticipated but again, I was okay with that; time is our friend, and I knew that if the relationship withstood the test of time, it was for keeps.
We talked marriage and all of our hopes and dreams. It seemed to be a perfect relationship. I was happy, he was happy. We hit a few rough patches -- again, because I didn't really understand how relationships worked. I was in a "fight-or-flight" mode for the first three months or so. Then, I figured out that communication has to take place. That certainly made all the difference and our lives settled down happily.
Yesterday, we hit an impasse. It was something neither of us could change. It is who we are inherently as people and as such, we either have to accept it and be okay with it or move on. We both chose to move on.
It saddens me that this relationship did not go the distance but I also know that had I stayed, it would be destined for disaster. There are some things you can fix and other things you can't fix. Having been through a bad marriage, I know what can be fixed. I would also refer back to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 which says,
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (NIV)
Did he fit the definition? No -- but neither did I. I see exactly where I fell short. Yes, that is God's definition of love. If you are seeing someone and you can put their name in place of love, and they fit that description? Congratulations! You got the prize! If not, keep looking. Seek Him first....the rest will fall into place.
"Blessings" by Laura Story
https://youtu.be/XQan9L3yXjc
No comments:
Post a Comment